Friday, November 30

Does this Mean More than Two People Read this Blog?

Let me share with you a short excerpt from an email I received today:

"It is extremely irresponsible of you to allow your child to place dog bones in her mouth . . . No wonder she's always sick."

Go ahead, go back up there and read it again.

Now I'll give you a second to think about that one.



Sorry, but that's seriously what happened when I first read it. I laughed and I laughed and I laughed. Anybody that has kids could probably figure out why. "Allow." That little word is just so darn funny. I mean, of course I "ALLOW" her to chew on dog bones. Actually, I encourage it. I search all over the house for one that's nice and slobbery and just shove it in her mouth. I "allow" her to chew dog bones just like I "allow" her to climb on the kitchen table, eat baby wipes, bite the cat, and tell me "no way" when I ask her to do something.

News flash--Babies are born with minds of their own. They will do what they want to do when they want to do it. It takes a while before they begin to actually understand the concept of no. Frankly, I know some adults that still don't understand it. I would say that Alexis is beginning to understand it. She has to be endlessly reminded that some things aren't allowed, but she still will try to do them just to see if the rules have changed. Given the fact that she's 22 months old, I find that behavior to be pretty much expected.

You know what behavior isn't to be expected? The Bulldog's. You see, Alexis stole that bone straight out of the Bulldog's mouth. That video clip was an excerpt of a longer clip showing Alexis trying to steal her bone, me fussing at her to leave the dog alone, and Meg happily giving the bone up. A split second before the dancing started, I was praising Meg for being so patient. If I had been the one taking the bone from her, I would have had to leave a few fingers as a deposit. Praising her was more important at the moment than keeping track of what the Crazy Toddler was planning to do with her bounty.

(Now that I'm thinking about it, it's a good thing Alexis stole Meg's bone and not Jasmine's. Because of her build, I can guarantee that Bully Baby can't lick her own butt. So her mouth and bone are theoretically a million times cleaner and less gross than the fuzzy one's. I've seen what she does in her spare time.)

As for the remark about her always being sick--no she's not. She is right now thanks her re entrance to daycare. I think it's reasonable to expect that dunking her in the petri dish that is daycare will have germy side effects. I don't like it, but I figured it would happen. Actually, she's been pretty skilled at dodging the illness bullets in her short life. A little over a year ago, the flu tore through our daycare. She was the one and only baby that didn't catch it. Not that it matters. After all, all kids spend a decent portion of their lives with colds. That's what happens when you put them in rooms together, playing with the same toys, breathing the same air, and rubbing their grimy hands on one another.

It happens just like this:

I think this photo captures the exact moment when Alexis passed her germy goodness on to her cousin Tyler. I know, I know, how dare I allow her to give her cousin a hug goodbye.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go see if I can convince Alexis to stick her tongue in the Bulldog's mouth. Again.


  1. LMAO. Really.

    First of all, the video is GOLD.
    Second, that person is an (uptight) idiot.

    Check out this:
    Dining With Zack

    And this:
    Move 'em on, Head 'em up

    And you know what? WHO CARES?

    (PS: if they are so harmful, why would we let OUR DOGS EAT THEM?)

  2. Shoot. We don't even live with dogs and E has had more slobbery toys in her mouth than I can count already, thanks to Grandma's Corgis who love to share - and distract her from her own toys so they can steal them. And just this morning I caught her happily chewing on the cat's tail (and that's something I don't want to think about where it's been).

    Heck, Alexis may be even healthier in the long run from being exposed to all those dog germs.

    If that person really does have kids, well, either they're going to turn out pretty boring, or that person is going to lose their mind upholding such high standards.

  3. wtf?? why would someone email you that?? big sigh! seriously, children - toddlers especially- are learning how the world works...we don't let them do anything. We are just along for the ride. Also- the being sick thing....check this out

    One reason that babies get a lot of colds is that their immune systems are immature, making them more vulnerable to illness. Also, your child can develop immunity to only one of the more than 200 different viruses that cause the common cold at a time. Think of all the colds you've had in your lifetime. Your baby would have to get all of those — and more — to be immune to all cold viruses.

    No where in there does it say dog bones!!

    I also wanted to thank you for your wonderful comment on my overly bitter post yesterday. Thanks for the uplift! And, the extra hard cheering for the Steelers! (hopefully we can score more then 3 points this week...ha ha ha)

  4. Um, I think I already commented on this on the original post. Not only does Micah share dog toys straight from their mouth, he shares licks of ice cream right off his spoon. Gross? Yes. Do we allow it? No. But yet it happens anyway. I have a theory that my kids are healthier because of all the immunities they're building up. They may never get distemper or parvo.

  5. Wow. That's incredible that they wrote to you about that. Then again, going through another pregnancy I never cease to be amazed by the urgency people seem to feel to impart their particular wisdom on any given subject, from my sex life to my kids' hygiene.

    Great post.

  6. HAHAHAHAHAHA, that is a funny statement. "Allow". Oh well, we will "allow" her to be ignorant.

  7. I don't let my toddler chew on the dog bones ONLY because it's the one thing the dog is very firm about - he puts up with tail pulling, ear pulling, nose licking (yup, NOSE licking...ew!) and using him as a step stool, but nobody touches his bone! But G and the dog share food - G takes a bite, puts it out to the dog, who licks it, sometimes nibbles it, and then G finishes it off. It's actually quite adorable.

    Geez, if I had to count all the germs my kid was ingesting, I'd loose my mind! I happen to think it's GOOD for him!

  8. I wonder if the person who left you that comment has kids?
    We are not the bosses of our kids, they are ours! I am sure a dog bone won't make anyone sick....
    I think that video is hilarious!!!

  9. What a coward your emailer is. She can't even share with the rest of us in public.

    I think your next video should be the one where Alexis "cleans" her toys in Meg's bowl of water.

    Chin up Baby Burgh, you're doing a great job!

  10. Every one of you crack me up. I replied to the email but have yet to hear back from Ms/Mr So Fresh and So Clean. I'll let you know if I do.

    (You who knows who you are, feel free to leave a comment. Some open dialogue might be fun.)

    On a related note, I was trying to think of the grossest thing Alexis has ever eaten or put in her mouth. I settled on the floor at Wal-Mart. Oh yes, I "allowed" her to lay down on the floor and lick it. Just the thought of it is enough to make me want to go force her to use an entire can of Lysol as a breath freshener.

  11. Ewwww, why on earth would you have allowed her to lick Wal-Mart's floor? What is wrong with you? ;)

  12. Oh that is too funny. I can't believe that someone actually sent you an email that said that.

    I'm pretty sure we don't catch colds from our dogs ;)

  13. Are people really that stupid?

    Or is that person not a parent?

    Allow Alexis to eat dog bones, my ass. What a maroon.

  14. Silly Billy Burgh sarcasm is gold medal winning sarcasm. I'd do the plurk worship thing here but will instead do it there.