Monday, January 7

Complaining About the Same Old Things

OK, OK, OK, enough sports talk for a while. How about we go back to a topic that I haven't brought up for at least 24 hours? Such as: why-oh-why-oh-why-oh-why is Alexis still refusing to sleep through the night without seeing me? Saturday she had an excuse; the dogs kept waking her up. Daddy was at that big event that we are no longer talking about, so the dogs thought they were on guard duty. Every time the house would creak, the woofing would start. Woofing was followed by wailing. Wailing was followed by more wailing--mine. It's a wonder those two furry buttholes survived the night because I was seriously contemplating what kind of tasty snacks could be made out of Lhasa Apso and Bulldog meat. I just might consider leaving vegetarianism behind if it meant I could really put an end once and for all to the incessant barking.

During one of the five (yes, five) times that Alexis woke up Saturday night, I switched strategies. I figured it wasn't really her fault she was awake and upset since hearing two dogs act like the burglar is climbing the stairs would shake anybody up. I went into her room the second I heard her and picked her up. She immediately calmed down and asked to cuddle for a second. That is one request that I will never deny the kid, but since I was barely conscious, she only got maybe 30 seconds of cuddles before I stumbled back to her crib. Her eyes popped wide open just as I was about to set her down, so I cringed, just waiting for the Toddler siren to go off. It didn't. Instead, she rolled over and went to sleep.

Even in my disappointed and sleepy stupor, that struck me as not quite right. Any other time in her life that she has gone through a wake-up all living and dead species in the county during the middle of the night phase, putting her back in her crib has been met with a big ol' fight. As I lie awake listening to the dulcet tones of Bulldog snoring (much sarcasm is dripping right there, just in case you can't see it), I kept thinking about the fact that this whole phase she's in doesn't make sense. It has never taken more than two nights of pretending that I'm as deaf as my husband for her to go back to sleeping through the night. She's stubborn, but she's not that stubborn. So methinks something is awry. I don't know whether to blame those rotten little molars that occasionally make everyone in the tri-state area miserable, but have yet to poke through, or if maybe she's having vivid dreams and just needs a momentary reminder that all is well.

Either way, I decided it was time to fight fire with fire. I mean, if the kid is going to jack up my sleeping routine, why wouldn't I jack up her sleeping routine? Oh yeah, we brought on the Toddler bed. It's not like I was getting any sleep with her in her crib, I might as well just throw a grenade into the mix. I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, when she woke up and was feeling freaky, she would just wander down the hall where I would give her a hug from the warmth of my bed and then send her on her way. I like to dream big, you know. If I can't sleep uninterrupted all night, I should at least get to stay in my bed.

Last night was the first night of Toddler bed torture, and I learned very quickly that there was one fatal flaw in my plan. The Toddler doesn't realize she can get out of her bed. Yup, she's one of those kids that stands on her bed in exactly the same spot she did when it was a crib, and screams for help. Three times last night. The only difference between crib life and bed life was that there was nothing to hold onto while she stood up, and that pissed her off. Big time.

Oh well, I guess I can sleep when I'm dead. I estimate that every day survived with a Toddler in the house cuts a year off my life, so it shouldn't be long now.

27 comments:

  1. "Oh well, I guess I can sleep when I'm dead" - funny line! I can't even believe she didn't realize she could get out of the bed. No, really, I can't believe that. She has to just be messing with you.

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  2. Well, I wish I had your sense of humor when I'm tired---which I am. I am just downright grumpy. I cried today because hubby asked me to go to the PA Farm Show....what? function outside my home? care for the two kids while you walk 10 feet in front oblivious to the torment back here? That was met with tears.

    Anyway- Ashlyn didn't understand she could get out of bed when we moved her out of the crib....that lasted until she turned 3. Then she would be there at 3 am staring in my face. Good luck with it and I really hope you are getting some sleep soon!

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  3. I don't mean to laugh but your post has me giggling. I so remember that time of walking around in a fog just wishing for some sleep. I also remember having the opposite problem, keeping my daughter in the toddler bed and not roaming the house.

    I hope that things settle down for you and you get some rest soon. Send the bulldog into sleep with your daughter, maybe that will work....

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  4. We put Happy in a twin bed at 16 months old because Baby was on the way. It took him over six months to figure out he could get out of his bed to get us. Now we have to put a gate in his doorway to keep him from wandering into his big sister's room and crawling in bed with her.

    I wish I had an answer for you other than "this too shall pass". Lame, I know.

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  5. It may be a blessing that she doesn't realize she can climb out of bed . . . many a night darling husband has woken up to find Cooper standing nose-to-nose with him. When husband doesn't immediately respond, Cooper blows on his face.

    I side with the molars, with a bit of separation anxiety tied in . . . perhaps loading her up with Motrin before bed would help? I hope sleep comes soon!

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  6. I suspect that might be her Evil Genius smile?

    Hope you get some sleep tonight. Cooper has two nights in a row under his belt...we'll see how tonight goes. Otherwise, I kind of side with Driving With the Brakes On...a little prophylactic painkiller one night might be helpful in case it is the sneaky molars.

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  7. "It shouldn't be long now" LOL! Punkin doesn't stand up in hers, but she hasn't quite figured out that she can really get out. She wandered a little at first, but now doesn't (knocks wood, throws salt over my shoulder, crosses my fingers!)

    As I've mentioned before, Punkin periodically does this too. She'll cry out, I'll go in there, she's go back down without a fight. And then a little while later we do the whole thing over again. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. I think you're right, though. I think they just want that little reassurance.

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  8. Egads. All I can offer is that when my son had his molars coming in, we went through the same thing for about 5 weeks. IT WAS BAD. Once they came in, he went back to sleeping thru the night. Good luck!

    Oh and I also have a little blog bling awaiting you over at my place.

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  9. Oh, I have so been there done that! I've got one foot in the grave already. Eventually, you forget to even go to bed.

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  10. It took Amy a few weeks to work out she could climb out of bed. It has been alternately a good/bad thing since then.

    I hope she sleeps soon.

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  11. I'd so be teaching her how to get out of that bed. You know, so she can run through the house at all hours of the night and help herself to the contents of the pantry. Food does wonders for calming nighttime fears.

    I'm sorry it's ongoing. Yikes. There's gotta be an end to it somewhere. Like the teen years. You'll never be able to wake her then.

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  12. Well, my my Alexis. That shout screams "I am am up to something." Don't worry, she'll figure out she can get out of bed soon. And, then you get to play return me to my bedroom sixty seven times in a row.

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  13. Ok, seriously hysterical...well, for me anyway, since it's not my sleep that's cut short!!

    Hang in there Momma....when they turn into teenagers you will have all the sleep you want! They NEVER get up!!

    Hallie

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  14. Hi! I been reading your blog via Hallie's WWoW blog and thought I would finally say HI!

    I have interrupted sleep as well! My daughter is 6 and still comes into bed with us almost every night! She starts off in her bed, but somehow she shows up in our bed in the middle of the night. She is very stealth-like and has perfected the act of climbing into our bed undetected! I wake up and there she is! She has NEVER been a good sleeper!

    Good luck!

    Kimmy
    http://talesofablenderkimmy.blogspot.com/

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  15. that is so funny! went through that with my daughter who, for the longest time, didn't realize that her toddler bed was easy to get out of. but...when she discovered she could escape...the fun really started (sarcastic snort inserted).
    my littlest guy became an escape artist, at around 18 months. he would, literally, jump out of his crib. it was deemed dangerous by hubby so we got the kid a real bed. now, he sits and screams for me...in his bed and, he is fully aware that he can jump out of it, he is just being lazy and making mommy have a workout in the middle of the night...sigh. no wonder i live in perpetual exhaustion!!

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  16. two furry butthols - ha ha ha!

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  17. Dude, I'm sympathetic, I really am, but seriously you need to pray to God she doesn't figure out that she can get out of bed because then you will be awake just as much but also dealing with wandering as well as screaming.

    The plus with the toddler bed (we found) was being able to sleep on the floor with one hand on the toddler.

    What we did (which worked for us) was start out with head and upper body on the bed with him, then slide down to the floor with one hand on his back. Then I'd lower my hand so that he was fully in his bed and I was fully on the floor, then I'd get up after he fell asleep.

    Eventually I could just go in and flop on the floor and he'd stop.

    Then one day he slept through.

    Honest to God, the nightime waking during potty training was worse than the baby waking. It was awful.

    But mine is back to sleeping through the night without a problem, and yours will be too, of course.

    This, too, shall pass.

    Thank God, eh?

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  18. I have complete sympathy for you, been there, done that, and I know it is not easy! I think sleep deprivation is worse than just about anything, but be assured, this too will pass, it's just a stage. Hopefully a short lived one. That picture of your daughter is absolutely adorable, how can you be upset with a face like that staring back at you? :) Good luck with the toddler bed (we had one shaped like a race car, love Little Tikes!) and hope you get some rest!

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  19. Doggone kids with their crappy sleep! Bah!
    Ah well. Sleep, smeep.
    And man! She is a cutie!

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  20. Little Man didn't realize he could get out of bed for a long time, just like her. And now, even though he knows it, he won't get out of bed until I come get him. It's actually really, really cool. I know he knows, because stuffed animals I've put on the rocking chair across the room will find their way to his bed.

    Well, I guess I wouldn't have done well on my SAT's if I hadn't been Canadian and had to take them, because obviously that's not a cause and effect example. After all, maybe the stuffed animals came to life and walked themselves over to the bed.

    Anyway, just hope that Alexis never gets out of bed. It's really, really nice, trust me. I just leave a book on Little Man's nightstand, so that when he wakes up, he just reads himself to sleep. It actually works for him. But he's weird. So no guarantees for your toddler.

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  21. You are really living on the edge with the whole toddler bed change over in the middle of this! And way braver then I. Good luck and the picture is sooooo cute!

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  22. oh my....that last paragraph just said it all...didn't it? LOL

    I really do hope that your sleep troubles get better soon.

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  23. Oh has that little one got trouble all over their face;) What a cute picture!

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  24. Thanks so much for visiting me! It's good to know that there is life after Minot! I'd love to get to know you better!

    My kids were all crib escapees, so they knew that the toddler bed was sweet freedom. I am so glad I am out of the baby/todler phase. My youngest is now 5 going on 14, and I am finally getting sleep. That is, when the Air Force allows it!
    Cheers!

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  25. Y'all, it's getting to the point where comments are funnier than anything I could ever say. At least 10 of you made me laugh at loud!

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  26. You have no idea how much I feel you on this one!!!

    At the rate I'm going I think I'll have to prop up my eyelids with toothpicks just to drive the kids to school tomorrow. Just like her older sister, Evie has decided that sleeping is for the birds.

    Seriously, when you come up with a solution I am ALL EARS. If I'm not locked up in a padded room before then...

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  27. Oh you poor thing....I feel for you.
    "Oh well, I guess I can sleep when I'm dead."- that is hilarious....I hope you both get some sleep soon.

    That pic of her is just too much! :)

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