Friday, February 22

Dora and Boots are Prom Cuss

It's happened before. Universes that Alexis loves have been known to collide. There was that time that Elmo was on Sesame Street doing sign language. I personally witnessed my poor child go slack-jaw, bug-eyed, and silent, unable to comprehend how it was that her second favorite monster could possibly know anything about her secret language. Then there was the time that we found her favorite monster, Zoe, on a backpack. The girl lurves Zoe. The girl lurves backpacks. Put them together, and watch as she spins in circles, trying to stare at her best friend Zoe whilst she sports her precious backpack.

Sometimes her universes collide in ways I didn't think were possible. She adores Dora, the bossy little Latina who has sold her soul to the devil by making appearances on everything from bags of broccoli to slippers. You would think the little snot would have amassed enough money to elope with her strange, talking "friend" Boots by now, but perhaps she has blown much of her wealth on booze and drugs. And then there is Alexis' love affair with bad pop music. I tolerate her SexyBack tendencies because Justin really does bring the sexy back. I sigh through her jaunts with Britney Spears because I figure she's just not old enough to understand just how wrong everything Britney is. And I shrug my way through her demands to listen to Nelly Furtado's Maneater and Prom Cuss every.single.day in my car. It could be worse, after all, she could have better enunciation skills and actually say the word correctly.

No matter, two more of her favorite universes have collided, and I fear there would be some sort of mind-blowing disaster if she were to see it for herself. At minimum I would need some smelling salts because her little brain? Could not handle this much awesomeness.

35 comments:

  1. Oh. My. Gawd. That is hysterical and wrong on so many different levels. Cooper could really care less about Dora, but Boots on the other hand . . . He is big on Diego as well. Part of me cringes when he asks to watch Diego, but I look at how many words, phrases, and various other tidbits he has learned from watching - I don't think I could hit all of that in a day. Too funny about Zoe and the backpack . . . toddler crack.

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  2. OMG! That is hysterical. I wanted to look away, but I just couldn't stop staring at it.

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  3. Could it be? Do you dislike that annoying little girl as much as I do? I am TERRIFIED for the day that Evie discovers her. Shudder.

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  4. oh. my. holy. hell.

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  5. Cecily--I might just dislike her more. I actually had a fantasy once about gouging a Dora's dolls eyes out. It still sounds like a fun idea.

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  6. O.M.G! That was both terrifying and funny as hell! (I found you by Melissa (Hope for the Hopeless) by the way) Dora and the phrase 'hit it' together is just ..... I can't find the words.

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  7. Oh, dear Lord God in Heaven wummin. 1. You LET her listen to Nelly Furtado? 2. Dora + hip hop...is it hip hop? I'm outta the loop. We listen to kid songs & XM 8 (all 80s) or 23 (cheezy cheese broken heart songs) exclusively.


    BUT geez. That seems just wrong.

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  8. true story... i once beat the talking backpack with a hammer because it wouldn't stop singing it's stupid backpack song...

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  9. NO WAY! Too funny! (Funny how my little three-year-old just perked up into super-curious-about-what-Mommy-laughing-at-mode).

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  10. Okay, get this:

    "DON'T TURN OFF DORA MOMMY!"

    "What are Dora and Boots talking about, Mommy?"

    "NO, LEAVE IT ON!" (Whines)

    (Does this come in a DVD?)

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  11. OMG, even the cat is trying to figure out where the noise is coming from.

    Can I tell you how wrong this whole thing is? WRONG!!

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  12. Seriously, if your blog gets 4,000 hits today -- it's my twins. They are freaking out over this!

    Darn you. ;)

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  13. I think Alexis is WAY more hip on pop culture than I am. I might just be living under a rock...

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  14. Okay, I handled 47 whole seconds of that before hitting the little pause button. Wrong, wrong, wrong. My niece loves Diego. And I had to listen to my pastor sing the map song in church one Sunday (he was making fun of the people who write the lyrics for kids' show songs these days). MAKE IT STOP.

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  15. People! You have GOT to stop posting stuff like this on your blogs. I often read these with a little one on my lap that makes me play them over and over and over again. :)

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  16. Wow, you gave me a good laugh, and not for why you would think. See, watching the video took me back a few years to my friend's son's 3rd birthday party. He loved Dora, so she went to a lot of trouble to plan this Dora scavenger hunt extravaganza.

    For some strange reason, she asked Jim to play the part of the fox(don't remember the name). I still don't know what he was supposed to do, but apparently he botched it, because my friend and all the kids just stared at him, like he was a moron! He turned 3 shades of red, and complained the whole ride home about "Why did you let me ruin the party? That was humiliating!" Me:"Why did you agree to do it, if you had no idea what to do?" Jim: "I don't know" Well, who can argue with that logic?

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  17. Wow, that's a little disturbing! Who has the time to make this stuff? I think it's probably best that Alexis doesn't see these two worlds collide. She might be permenantly scarred.

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  18. shell6:40 PM

    OMG!!!!!!! That is just too funny and yes she would be shocked but I bet she would bust into daycare one day and start singing those words.. only cause dora sang them with boots..

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  19. That was hysterical! I think that sometimes adults just need to make these kids shows a little more entertaining!

    Have a good weekend!

    Kimmy

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  20. I think I need smelling salts after witnessing!

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  21. Oh! My! God! That thing is hilarious!!!

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  22. I can REALLY come and clean out your email? You must really love me!! I'm a lucky girl!!

    I knew I ;iked you for a reason!
    Hallie :)

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  23. I hope Dora is gone by the time I have kids. Although, I'm sure they will have come up with something else, equally as annoying.

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  24. I am rolling on the floor laughing here...it's hard to type on the floor. LOL! I have an award for you. :o)

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  25. That was like witnessing a car accident. I could not avert my eyes.

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  26. I didn't know bloggy noodle necking was possible. I kept trying to look into the kitchen, but Eyes wouldn't follow Head. Aaaargh.

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  27. My 17 yr. old is laughing right now. You done good!

    Lizzy

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  28. HILARIOUS!! But really there are some people who have way too much time on their hands. But God bless them, because YouTube rocks and constantly makes my day!

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  29. LMAO!!!! Oh man, I think I just peed a little!

    Dora kills me! The fact that her show taught my toddler how to say "Awww, MAN!" kills me....

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  30. I just choked on my Coke! Hysterical!

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  31. I am ever so grateful that Dora has not crossed our threshhold. Boys have determined that long ago.

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  32. I think it seriously disturbed Kennedy... she kept saying "Oh noooooo... DORA! Wha happen?!" LOL

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  33. oooohh...still vomiting!

    glad I watched this after-hours, or else I'd have a certain three year-old spazzing out.

    It makes me feel even better than I usually get requests in the car for "Guitar" (Gavin's way of asking for John Meyer) or for "Apple John" (his mispronunciation of Elton John).

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  34. It could be worse, when my daughter was little she loved, and I mean loved Michael Jackson. Not just his music, but Him!!!

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