Sunday, February 3

Go Ahead. Hate Me.

I do believe every single house in the world that is inhabited with kids has been dealing with some sort of illness in the past week or two.

Except us.

I didn't say anything. I didn't rub it in. I could have gloated that we were all chipper and as healthy as can be with nary a drop of vomit or misery in sight. I didn't because, well, if you haven't figured out where we live by now, surely you would make it a mission to find out and then show up at our doorstep brandishing torches and firearms. Another reason to not bother rubbing it in is that, in general, we do tend to land on the healthy side of the fence over here. While Alexis is surely going to have a runny nose for the first five years of her life, I'm pretty sure she is sick less than other kids.

She gets it from me. I rarely catch a cold. I'm so confident in that fact that not only will I loudly declare, "Go ahead and cough on me, you disgusting jerk" in an airplane, I will tell the Internet that I don't get sick. I missed exactly five days of school in my entire life--all due to chicken pox. Apparently, if you have bright red spots all over you, you aren't allowed to be around other kids, but you are allowed to hang out in your yard all day doing cartwheels and planning your world domination. Since my school days, I've been stricken a few times with various evil plagues, but not so much that I would think that I have anything to complain about. I am, of course, excluding the year that I was breastfeeding. A certain someone was literally sucking all of my resistance out of me, so I did get more than my share of colds that year. Evil immunity-sucking babies are just lucky they are cute.

So last night when Alexis turned into a Cling-On and wouldn't be put down, I wasn't sure what to think. We had friends over for the evening and I was torn between thinking she was being a snob (it wouldn't be the first time), or she was coming down with something. She stayed glued to somebody the entire evening and when she demanded extra cuddling before going to bed (darn the luck, I have a kid that wants to sit in a chair and cuddle for a few minutes before I put her in her bed), I was pretty sure that I would be seeing her again in a few hours.

As predicted, 2:00 came around and found me in the Toddler's room, trying to calm her down enough to go back to sleep. She was having none of it, so I finally just took her to bed with me. But she felt warm. And she seemed miserable. And her breathing was labored. After about 30 minutes of her whining and crying and generally just being a miserable little body, I decided she needed some drugs. Usually she is a little Amy Winehouse and not only wants the drugs, but she runs around screaming for more. Not last night. No, last night she wanted to play it straight and narrow. She screamed. She flailed. She clamped her mouth shut. She did everything she could to keep that Tylonel from making it into her mouth. So I partook in my favorite Toddler wrangling event, I pinned her down and shoved it down her throat. If she wasn't happy before that, she sure was at that moment.

Her flailing slowly became calmer. Her screams slowly dissolved to whimpers, and eventually the Toddler fell asleep. And she slept. And she slept. And she slept. Until she achieved a never before seen level of greatness--she slept until 10:00. She awoke with a flourish, singing and dancing and generally in excellent spirits. Looking at her now as she helps her bunny flap her fairy wings and fly around the room, you'd never know her body had waged war with alien beings in the middle of the night.

But I tell you, those five hours while she was sick? They sure did suck.



(If y'all need me, I'll just be hiding under the table so as to protect my head from all the debris you're throwing at me.)

48 comments:

  1. Crash! Bam! Splat! Boom! Crunch! (Did any of those hit you, you evil such and such?) I'm bringing Dylan over to wipe snot on you. See you soon.

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  2. I'm throwing up a little in my mouth. You suck. I was chronically sick as a child (hence my Holly Hypo nickname) and poor boy child seems to get sick at least once a month. 10 am? NEVER have we done 10am.

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  3. As if I needed more reasons to hate you. First, you slap me with a meme, then, you cause me to become addicted to your blog, THEN, you have to tell me how you and your adorable baby are never sick. (I'm growling as I type this.)

    Now that there's a vaccine for chicken pox, Alexis will probably miss 0 days of school in her lifetime. Humph.

    "Evil immunity-sucking babies." I liked that one.

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  4. I didn't say "never" in the case of Alexis. She gets sick, but she does usually recover pretty quickly. I'm sure it drives daycare crazy; just as they get ready to call us to pick her up, she starts showing signs of recovery.

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  5. Hey, at least you dodged it for most of the season. 10am!? That's never happened here. Hope you steer clear of whatever she had.

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  6. 10:00 has never happened here before either. It's typical for me to beg and plead with the Toddler to just sleep until 7:00. THAT alone requires a miracle.

    I do not fear catching whatever she had/has. She could lick my face and I wouldn't get it. That's what happens when you grow up amongst filth and germs. You develop kick-butt resistance.

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  7. Well, you read my post so you know all about my issues. I agree with Jen -- Jonathan just sneezed your way and I coughed on you. :-)

    As for forgetting me with the awards..don't even worry about it. There are more entertaining bloggers out there and I"m just enjoying bouncing to them from your post.

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  8. LOLOLOL! That's all. Just laughing my silly old head off visualizing all these moms throwing rotten bananas at you.

    Glad you both survived the night.

    OH- I embarrassed myself so bad at the chinese food place here in town the other night. There was a group at a table near us who had a baby that looked so much like Alexis that I couldn't quit staring! The mom kept looking at me, so I finally got up, went over to the table and apoligized and explained that their adorable baby looked like a little girl I know. (Didn't explain how. Didn't figure they'd understand! LOL!) Well, that just made matters worse because big, macho, good ol' boy dad was seriously offended that I thought his SON looked like a girl. So much so that he told his wife she wasn't ever to put that sissy turtleneck shirt on him again! I had to excuse myself and go crack up in the bathroom!

    See - I don't just bother people in airports! I'm an equal opportunity blogservationsit! LOLOL!!

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  9. I don't hate you so much for the lack of sickness as I do for that 10:00 sleep-in. My kids sleeping in equals 7:30 on a good day.

    And hard though this is to believe, we're fairly healthy, too. We have one month every year where we just seem to get things out of the way to have the next 11 free. Usually it's February, so we were early this year.

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  10. See, you just support my theory that a few germs not only never hurt anyone, but may even help them. Now, be careful if you have another child. You may not be so lucky. But, I hope you are. Having sick kids is the worst. I wouldn't wish it on my enemies. Well, maybe them. Another way to improve your immune system is to run a daycare. Although it affects your brain cells, too.

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  11. OH...and I should say that I don't really wish any sickness on you or Alexis..being sick, especially for a little one stinks..so I was really just kidding. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, so I"m glad she was feeling better by morning

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  12. Yeah, just WAIT until you read my next post!!!!!

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  13. lots of debris coming your way... I am throwing our puke buckets at you. I'm not totally gross though, they're empty and clean! LOL

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  14. Five hours of sickness in the middle of the night is like 16 hours in the daytime.

    Angie
    www.AllAdither.com

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  15. (and I don't actually hate you.) I'm glad you guys are hardly ever sick. I love Alexis' giggly grin in that picture!

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  16. I'm with All Adither.

    We had a terrible run where Amy had a constant cold between 6-12 mths, but since then we have been pretty okay.

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  17. Ahhhh...we have found the weakness in the Burgh household. Quick! Send your germs to the toddler!

    No, seriously. That's awesome. I don't wish sick kids on anyone. It does suck. You totally should have blogged the Burgh wellness sooner! Yours would have stood out from the rest!

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  18. Oh, sorry for being a chatter box but...thanks for the blogging buddies award!! I shall go post...

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  19. Wow! She must have had the 15 hour flu! :) Good for Alexis and for you! So, what's your secret to staying so healthy? Eatin' bags of oranges over there, are ya?

    Lizzy

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  20. Dude. This bug must be worldwide. It is only like 12 or 15 hours, but it bites the big one.

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  21. No, no...we don't hate you, really (I say this as I'm coughing on my laptop).

    Glad your little one is feeling better...and I loved the Amy Winehouse remark! Hehehehe

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  22. Oy, you have tempted the sickness gods you should repent quickly or fear their payback. ;)

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  23. We're having a remarkably healthy winter on this end, too (she says as she knocks on wood) so I say, more power to you!! Fun post! :)

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  24. You are evil. If I had something heavy to throw at you right now, I would do it.

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  25. My kids get sick , but unlike many of my friends' kids, they don't calm down, get sleepy or lounge around all day on the couch watching TV. They are just as wound up as ever and puking/coughing/snotting all over the place too. YAY for them!!

    And you suck.

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  26. That pic of your two babies is precious!

    I am not a hockey fan at all but at this point if the Bruins want to win it all, I will gladly root for them! We need a winning New England Team!!

    Hallie

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  27. Yeah, except for a runny nose, mine is pretty much healthy. And like you, if he gets a fever, one dose of Tylenol usually does it.

    The only time he got really, really sick is when he started real daycare at 15 months old. His body caved under the attack of being around 11 other sickly toddlers and was like WTF???

    Glad she is better now!

    PS: I was also healthy as a horse as a kid! I only missed twice, one day for a sprained ankle and a few days for chicken pox.

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  28. You're one blessed mama. My kids were always nasty to the extreme (okay ARE) right before the symptoms hit, so I'd always respond to their ugliness then feel bad when they got sick. Then they were the best kids in the world, laying around sleeping and barely conscious when awake.

    The picture is darling.

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  29. Count your blessings girlie! Mine are usually healthy, but when they do get something, it's really bad and lasts for weeks. You are one lucky Momma.

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  30. I'm so glad she's feeling better now! :) I won't throw anything at you, we're pretty good usually too :) *knocks on wood in case...* lol

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  31. i dont wish illness on you and yours ... but i will hate you just a little.

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  32. Boy, you sure are lucky! I thing everyone in my house has been sick in the last month. Hopefully we're done with it for a while!

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  33. Boy, you sure are lucky! I thing everyone in my house has been sick in the last month. Hopefully we're done with it for a while!

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  34. My oldest also NEVER ever got sick. I swear, she was almost 2 before she even got a cold and a fever! And she has only thrown up twice in her 6 years of life, and only once each time.

    But then she started preschool and that all ended. She brought cold and the flu home almost weekly! My other 2 kids have been sick WAY more than my oldest was. Other kids are great germ breeders.

    Funny story, one day my youngest slept in too, and that NEVER EVER happened either. But she didn't sleep in until 10, no, it was 1 P.M before she woke. I kept checking on her she looked comfortable, kept shifting positions etc. But when she woke? She was on FIRE with a nice high fever.

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  35. That picture is TOO cute!!! What kind of dog is that?

    btw I am also a pittsburgh mom... from the eastern 'burbs!

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  36. I don't know what makes me laugh more, the evil immune sucking infant comment, the Amy Winehouse comment, or the planning world domination...you crack me up! When I grow up- I want to be you! Sorry about the 5 hours- but glad it was short lived!

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  37. Thanks for the blogger info. I was thought maybe I was going nuts and just not hitting the "spell check" tab right. So of course I tried hitting it 1000 times really, really fast, and that didn't help either.
    Good to know it is not just me.
    ;)

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  38. I don't hate you... I want to BE you! I was sick a lot growing up. So far, we've been okay with really only one cold for the Pumpkin. But I generally find it hard to tell if a stuffy nose is from teething or a cold. I always chock it up to teething.

    Last night, I had a similar wrestling match with the Pumpkin, except it was trying to use that bulb-thingy to clear her nose. She. Did. Not. Like. It.

    I'm glad the tylenol helped Alexis. And I love that pic of her and the bulldog! BTW, how's the world domination going?

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  39. I am saying NOTHING. Nothing at all.

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  40. oh my gosh what a cute kid. makes it all worth wile doesn't it? maybe. well sometimes! :)

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  41. Whoa. I can't remember anything I read after "I missed exactly five days of school in my entire life."

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  42. I REALLY didn't want to miss those five days, either. I actually went to school the first day after I found some baby powder and "masked" the spots. I was busted and sent home, however.

    I loved school. Still do, in fact.

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  43. Dear Miss Butthead.

    You are a butthead of the highest order. This week the Poopyhands household was hit with Roseola. ROSE-EEE-OH-LA.

    Wallace seems to bounce back pretty quickly, and was similarly unphased by the Chicken Pox, but after four days of a fever hovering around 104, we were both wiped out.

    Also, please stop attributing your immune system to growing up filthy. I ate dirt with the best of them and came out immunocompromised.

    So you got the good genes. The Jordache stonewashed bootcut ones, and you look fabulous in them DAMN YOU.

    Me, geneswise, I'm wearing torn men's overalls. That's what I got.

    I'm so throwing things at you if we ever meet.

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  44. Debris? Throwing debris? We should be throwing snotty tissues, vomit-covered towels, the 14 empty toilet paper rolls and all the half-eaten toasts and applesauce bowls.

    Actually, I'm glad you guys are healthy. One less family to pass the germs on to us.

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  45. Yeah, this isn't going to be pretty....I am going to package up the 14 boxes of used tissues and 6 empty children's tylenol bottles for you to enjoy...mmmmm...maybe I'll send a little of the ENDLESS laundry while I have the box open. Goodness is there no end to your taunting? What's next...You don't get hangnails? You don't have to shave your legs? You don't have to pee, ever?

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  46. HRH-I get hangnails. I don't shave, but I probably should. I pee more than a pregnant lady. I just don't get sick.

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  47. I just love the short bugs like that. I'm so lucky, whenever my kids barf, it's an isolated event. They don't get sick and barf their guts out, they just feel lousy for a little while, upchuck, and usually within the hour, they're doing cartwheels or something. I have one who has only barfed once in his nearly 9 years of existence. He didn't even spit up as a baby. Weird, huh? Can I take a space there under your table?

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  48. I am sorry to here you all had a rough night.

    my sugar is pretty healthy kid in general as well. I thank my lucky stars.

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