Thursday, March 20

If You Need Me, I'll Be Worshipping at the Church of Dora

I think it's a pretty well-documented fact that I loathe the little Latina known as Dora. It's not that I'm opposed to her Spanish-speaking ways. After all, I speak Spanish and have started to teach a little to Alexis (She's been known to proclaim, "Claro que si" for no apparent reason--I did that, thankyouverymuch!). It's not that I have a problem, per se, with commercial characters. I tolerate Mickey Mouse and Pooh just fine. My problem with Dora is that I have no doubt that her puppet masters have smoked a whole lot of crack. If those scripts aren't written by a bunch of drunken doped up teenagers, then . . . I don't know what. You'd have to be blind and deaf not to realize that Dora's writers are about as in touch with reality as Britney Spears after a night of hanging out sans underwear in a gas station bathroom.

And yet, I suddenly find myself suddenly MADLY, DEEPLY IN LOVE with Dora. Really. I want to give her a big wet kiss on the lips. I want to stroke her hair, hug her, even caress her very-kickable, football-shaped head. I want to make out with Dora. There, I said it.

Remember how we bought Alexis Dora bedding? Remember how I made a big deal out of the new sandpaper sheets? Guess who has bought into my sales pitch?

Oh, yes.

My kid? Has been staying in her bed all night. She has even resumed sleeping through the night. In fact, she has only called for me in the middle of the night twice since we bought the tacky linens.

I have actually gotten a solid eight hours of sleep several times in the past week. And for that, I will forever worship Dora.

Long live Dora! And her crappy bedding!

50 comments:

  1. I tried that with my oldest, but I went with Pooh and I was the one who liked Pooh, not her. I don't even remember what was popular back then or what she liked, but I could guess I was opposed to giving in. I wonder now if I made an unwise move. It sounds like you were much smarter than I!

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  2. Wow- I would totally make out with Dora as well if she had that impact on my kids. If Dora can get Ashlyn to stay dry at night....I'm calling her to come here and I'll give her a make out party if she wants it! Good job mommy! I love that picture of you, Alexis, and the smelly dog.

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  3. I think I would go buy another set of sheets, just in case something should happen to those. I'd just hate to see you in a pinch and have manufacturers decide that Dora sheets aren't the best sellers. Or something. Because I am NOT sewing a Dora blanket.

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  4. HAHAH. I love her random Claro que si. Mine tells me, "Brinca." Cute that I'm a bunny.

    And, I love that picture. Was it hard to be sweet with Meg blowing Bulldog breath on you?

    CeLeRy! & Smooches.

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  5. You.Are.A.Genius!!

    Long live Dora....

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  6. Yeah for Dora! At least in terms of her sleep potential. I agree, I'm not a fan of those kids' shows that wait for the viewer to respond - do kids really answer her...mine is to young to comprehend so all I hear are awkward pauses and they really annoy me!

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  7. PEACE AT LAST.

    Whatever works. Praise be to Dora.

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  8. Hilarious!!! Gotta love the sleep. It's worth it, even if it means sacrificing your decor tastes. ;)

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  9. I KNEW she had to be good for something! LOL

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  10. What I can't stand about Dora is that when she asks a question, the characters just stand there blankly waiting for the audience to answer. SO ANNOYING! Can't they do like in Blue's Clues and have some kids call out answers?!?

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  11. Oh, the things we do for our kids, or for a little sleep.

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  12. Viva la Dora!!!

    And is that YOU? Wow! Hello gorgeous!

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  13. LONG LIVE DORA SHEETS!!! Isn't bribery just the best damn parenting skill we have?

    Love the pic!

    Hallie :)

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  14. Dora gets a free pass now due to keeping Alexis in bed and asleep.

    Dammit.

    Love the picture--it's sweet, yet I giggled at the half a Meg face :)

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  15. You do realize that as we speak half of your readers are running out to buy Dora sheets now?
    Great picture of you and Alexis! How many days did her cold last, by the way?

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  16. Yay! Whatever works, right?

    I would like Dora a lot more if she didn't talk so FREAKING loud. Same with Ty Pennington.

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  17. Isn't it funny how such a simple thing can solve such a huge problem? I had a really hard time with separation anxiety with my daughter suddenly in preschool last year (long story). I was so upset, I didn't know what to do. I finally bought some stickers and told her she could put one of the calendar each day she didn't cry when I left the house. I was shocked when I found it worked like an absolute charm. I can still bribe her to do something if I promise her a sticker. Strange kids.

    So glad Dora saved the day!!!

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  18. If I thought Dora sheets could get that munchkin of mine to shoosh all night, I'd run out today to get a full crib-bedding set.

    Actually, I'm considering putting him in bed with Gavin, since that's who Cooper really loves.

    But glad to hear you're getting some sleep...and am quite jealous.

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  19. Oh God. You love Dora now. Hold on I am sending an exorcist over to help you.

    Kidding. Hell I hate the little brat as well but if she gets you sleep then praise GOd she is a good demon.
    Love the pic!

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  20. let's hear it for real sleep!

    dora dora dora!!

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  21. I'd have a shrine set up for that little Latina and her monkey if they made my daughter sleep :)

    Love that pic of you two!

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  22. Oooh! Love the pic (especially the doggy stacked on top ;)), and I'm proud to say I have yet to sit through an entire Dora episode--woohoo! ;)

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  23. Great pic! And I am a Dora-lover too. I swore if I heard "Swiper no swiping" one more time, I was going to walk out into traffic, but many a task has gotten accomplished thanks for Dora.

    Home inspection guy is here? Dora!
    Gutter guy is here? Dora!

    I love her little football shaped head too!

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  24. DDDD-Dora!

    Dora rocks!

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  25. seriously! Aren't those character sheets made out of the roughest linens imaginable???

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  26. I guess I can't make fun of Dora anymore. ;)
    Love the pic!

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  27. That's fantastic!! It's truly amazing what instigates the change in the end. Hope she carries on sleeping through :)

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  28. You can't marry Dora. I've already got dibs on her.

    And, is that you with Alexis? How cute are you *both*?

    (Okay, that's two lesbian comments in one. Not that there's anything wrong with it. My husband just might get pissed. Or not... but I digress.)

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  29. Were you singing "We did it." after her first night sleeping through? he he he The stupid Dora songs are so annoyingly catchy!

    Way to make the sale!

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  30. Wow, how cute are you!!
    We have those same sheets, they work wonders. And we can move on from hating on Dora to that little annoying Chinese girl now, UGH! I hate that show!

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  31. Hot Damn! Go Dora!! and go you.
    First, you are so darlin' and that pic of you two, precious!!!
    Yippeeeee for her staying in her bed at night! I hope this continues. I think Diego is waaaaaaaaaaaay more obnoxious than Dora, with that dad-gum nasal Rosie Perez as 'Click' the camera... drives me loco!

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  32. I have to tuck the "buy crappy sandpaper sheets for kid with stupid commercial character on them" trick away for later use.

    Eight HOURS!? Damn! That Dora is one sultry biatch.

    Oh, and WAY cute photo!

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  33. Que maravilla! If you ever come across the Meet Diego book, my husband really needs to know what the first animal is. He calls it a 'turd dog' and despite my desperate need for him not to call it that, I cannot come up with an adequate substitute!

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  34. My kids are too old my dora... but we do love SPONGE-BOB.

    What's not to love???

    Feel free to pop by and say hello.

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  35. What a sweet picture of you two. You have gorgeous blue eyes!

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  36. Boots is pretty cute too.

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  37. Not only another great post, another great picture too.

    No wonder I'm the 38th commenter.

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  38. I think I'm gonna have to check out this Dora creature. We went through it with Hello Kitty sheets and Spiderman sheets. I also say, good for whatever gets ya the most sleep! And that pic? Awww...too cute!

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  39. LOL. Sandpaper. Yes.

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  40. What a love-hate-love story...

    Super cute pic.

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  41. Look at you, you beautiful person you! And WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!

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  42. wow, lack of sleep is scary.
    This was hilarious and the pic was perfect!
    (first time visitor thanks to TopMomma)

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  43. Ay, dios mio! Gracias, Dora! Gracias to you and your annoying voice, your strange pet monkey and the blank stares you give the camera -- because 8 hours of sleep rocks!

    Do you think it would be wrong for an almost 40 year old woman to get some of those sheets?

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  44. Congratulations! I'm so glad you haved turned in favor of the salty little margarita!

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  45. I don't know if Griffin knows who Dora even IS, but if sandpaper is what makes a kid sleep, I can get on board with that!

    Long live Dora!

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  46. Oh so cute!!! Dora rules in this house, despite my best efforts. The Dora potty book and potty seat expedited things.

    Ultimate Dorification is now in the form of my latest haircut ... sigh.

    Great blog!

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  47. You are freaking brilliant!! I'm so glad to hear that the sheets are working!

    Love the pic.

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  48. ImpostorMom11:50 AM

    Dora needs a volume button. Seriously why is that chick always screaming? And everything she says sounds like a question. Drives me nuts.

    Glad the sheets work though. I think Boog might sleep in his crib forever. That thought of a wondering toddler does not sit well with me. I wonder what the weight limit on that thing is?

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  49. It's amazing what we will do in the name of sanity maintenance!

    Glad she bought into it.

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