Friday, March 28

Notes to the Girls

Dear Alexis,

There's something that I haven't told you because I don't think it's my place to discourage you from doing something you love, even if you are pretty bad at it. So earlier today when you screamed, "NO, STOP! NO! NO! NO!" at me when I started singing along with your beloved Signing Time music, I was not amused. You, my dear, suck at singing just as much as I do. Obviously, though, I am much nicer than you. Meanie face.

Love,
You're Out of Tune but Totally in Touch Mom

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Dear Jasmine,

Why? Really, why? You used to be the "Good Dog." I could leave a plate of food on the floor and you wouldn't touch it because you were so well trained and knew what you were and were not allowed to do. So why the gummy bear are you now getting into the trash every day? Those cans have been accessible for your entire life. Why all of a sudden do you need to knock them over and inspect the contents every day? KNOCK IT OFF.

Love,
The Woman Who is Going to Beat Your Ass if You Don't Quit

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Dear Meg,

It's not YOUR couch. Quit acting like it is.

Love,
The Woman Who WILL Sit on the Couch Without a Dog Growling at Her

36 comments:

  1. You know all these folks can't read, right?

    Let me know if this works.

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  2. Maybe Alexis and The Girl can start a group. The Girl can't carry a tune in a box wrapped up with a bow on top! And...The Dog? SHE thinks she OWNS the couch!

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  3. those are hilarious! funny stuff! I can't sing at all so A often asks me to stop singing. Singing songs to my kids never comforted them because I am so bad at singing.

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  4. LOL at Leanne. :)

    I'd totally kill Jasmine. But that's just me. I have one that eats kleenex and it drives me insane.

    And that's why we don't allow the dogs on the couch. Plus for sheer numbers there would be nowhere for the people.

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  5. What's A doing to poor Meg? And, I still say you are muy caliente en pantalones blancos.

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  6. ROFL! You have (had) a dog that didn't eat everything in sight? What was that like. Our beagle is awful. I can feed her and still she spends hours walking around the floor sniffing for any little crumb she can find!

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  7. My kid doesn't know good singing either! She tells me "No crinkle star, momma! soppit!"

    Everyone's a critic.

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  8. Can I have Meg? She's the coolest dog EVER.

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  9. LOL! Prisoners! Sounds like there is just to much estrogen in your house at the moment. Has DH moved to the shed yet? ;)

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  10. Were you singing around Meg, because that is one depressed looking dog!

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  11. I will trade your Meg for my stupid-not-house-trained-weiner-dog-that-growls-each-time-we-take-him-out Hunter.

    Let's mae arrangments.

    Today I found the baby playing with Hunter's poop under my VERY classy dinning room table.

    Yup.

    Enough said.

    I will not be blogging about THAT.

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  12. Right now, this minute, I'll take all three of your girls over my forcing-Cecily-to-watch-old-wrestle-mania-to-relive-his-freaking-childhood-husband. Just for now. Later I'll like him again...until he dumps the kitchen garbage over to inspect it's contents...

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  13. Ha! Will you write a letter to the pesky kids next door who keep leaving their empty soda cans and sweatshirts by our basketball hoop? I don't like picking up after my own kids, much less someone else's. Thanks!

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  14. We don't have any dogs (always have been a cat person), but we actually trained our cat not to sit on any furniture. I still can't believe it worked.

    But if we leave food in her vicinity, it will definitely be snatched up (while we are NOT looking of course).

    Aren't animals fun? Almost as fun as kids sometimes!

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  15. I would not mess with that dog! He looks like he's definitely the boss! Love that pic.

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  16. Meg HAS to own something....Alexis has the rest!!

    My toddler, Menace, is all about telling me to stop singing, too. "MommEEEE!! TOPit!!" I don't have a clue as to why they call it terrible two's...he's been a stinker since he could crawl!!!

    I had a cat similar to you dog Jasmine. He was an angel. Then, after baby #1 was crawling...all bets were OFF! He probably saw son#1 tipping over the can and acting up and thought he could do it too!!!

    But at least the cat would let me sing!

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  17. Who cares if they can't read! Letters always make me feel better :)

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  18. My dog will get in the trash every time I leave the kitchen unattended. And there are baby locks on the cabinet. She's very crafty. I think I put the can in the garage and back under the sink more times in one day than anything else I do.

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  19. Those letters are great! Very funny.

    Why are those darn Signing Times songs so catchy? I sing them all the time... and mine doesn't yet know how to tell me to stop. hehe.

    Our dog always goes for the trash. It's why we have some with lids and others placed in precarious places above her head.

    Let me know if the letters work. I may need them.

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  20. I haven't been allowed to sing in at least a year now.

    Except for the few times a song Little Man likes comes on the radio and he demands I sing it, even when I sheepishly admit that I don't know the words. "I SAID SING IT, MAMA!"

    I don't know when I stopped living in a democracy.

    And man, do I ever want to just snuggle Meg's big fat face. Love that dog!

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  21. Sounds like they've been plotting a mutiny...I would be careful...very careful!

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  22. Lordy, woman. You've lost all control of your household. What is up with that? :D

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  23. Give Meg the couch - just do it. With a face like that, you have no choice.

    Hallie :)

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  24. Now Burgh, why on earth would you settle for average?

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  25. Whenever I sing my 14 year old daughter runs around saying "It burns, it burns". They get to be a real smart alec when they turn into teenagers. LOL

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  26. Your daughter and dogs appear to be in cahoots. Valium helps.

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  27. loved it because it's just so doggone true!

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  28. It seems to me that you may be experiencing a mini-mutiny of sorts in the near future. Bless the beasts and the children...BWAHAHAHA!

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  29. I can always count on you for a nice belly laugh--reality really is stranger than fiction!

    Good job keeping all of this stuff in it's perspective!

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  30. Did any of them right back? I'd love to know the response :) hee hee . . .

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  31. That dog's face is too precious.

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  32. I'm sorry but that expression on the dogs face is PRICELESS.
    And yeah Bean tells me to "HUSH UP MOMMY!" anytime i break into song. Apparently I am too loud. Whatever!

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  33. I think Jasmine is just trying to give you something to blog about her. She's jealous that Alexis and Meg get all the photo ops!

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  34. ImpostorMom4:51 PM

    OMG I was singing along to Signing Time the other day and Boog gave me the most "eat s#@t and die" look. Literally stopped me in my tracks. Of course the husband and I immediately busted out laughing.

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  35. ugh...I get hollared at for singing or dancing, too. "No dancing, Mommy! No singing!!!" *sigh*

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  36. That face just says, "Yea, I know you're going to poke me again. Bring it."

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