Saturday, April 12

Yeah, That Makes Sense

There's plenty of evidence to indicate that I'm not an idiot. I got good grades in school, I went to college on an academic scholarship, and I work with pretty complicated technical concepts at work. The only thing is, I am an idiot. A BIG idiot.

This morning when I went into Alexis' room to feed the fish in the saltwater tank, I noticed a crab sitting at an odd angle behind the rocks. I studied it for a minute or two and when it didn't budge, I cleverly deduced that it was not a living crab. So I moved the rocks, scooped the corpse up with a net, and gave him a proper clockwise funeral. Flusherooooo!

I didn't say anything to Mr. Husband because I have found a shrimp corpse and another crab corpse in the past few weeks, and I didn't really need to hear him tell me that I need to figure out what is wrong with the tank. I ran every water quality test under the sun this morning and couldn't find anything wrong, so him asking me if I checked the pH, ammonia, nitrates, nitrites, calcium, iodine, buffering capacity, blah, blah, blah would have just annoyed me to no end.

We spent our day out running various errands, including important tasks like buying Strawberry Shredded Wheat so that Alexis doesn't fall victim to SSW deprivation tomorrow. When we got back home, I went straight upstairs to feed the fish and turn off the light for the night. The instant I dropped a couple of chunks of frozen fish food into the tank, I noticed a little claw come swiping out from under a rock. I stared at that damn crab for a solid five minutes trying to figure out how it not only returned from the dead, but found it's way all the way through the sewer system, across the hall, and back into the aquarium. I finally decided that it was either a ghost, or we must have had a crab in the tank that we didn't know about.

So, Mr. Husband came upstairs and I told him we have a ghost in the tank. He looked at the little crab and then said, "He probably just shed his exoskeleton."

Oh, yeah, that would be slightly more logical than a ghost crab returning to a crappy little tank in the afterlife, now wouldn't it?

Now I'm trying to figure out if anything ever died, or if I've been pulling out shed exoskeletons, obsessing for hours every day over water quality, and cursing the death of a bunch of over-priced critters for no reason.

I am an idiot.





39 comments:

  1. For the love of Jehovah - your tank is a house of horrors. Worms. Creatures shedding exoskeletons. With all the grossness in that tank a ghost crab seriously wouldn't surprise me. Thanks for the nightmares!

    Also, where did you get that monster shirt? It's badass and I want one.

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  2. Leave it to the zoology major to pull a one upper on ya.

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  3. Whoa. Spooky.

    You need to switch from Dora to Zoboomafoo.

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  4. Whoa. Spooky.

    You need to switch from Dora to Zoboomafoo.

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  5. I guess that needed to be said, twice.

    Duh.

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  6. My husband's a bigger idiot (and doesn't read blogs, so nanny nanny boo boo, I can rat him out). He kept feeding Laura's fish every night for weeks, even though I kept scolding him to stop it 'cause it is her responsibility (he likes to hurry the bedtime routine). So I finally prevailed (read: beat him to the tank) and told Laura to feed the fish. She put the food in, but the fish did not come up to grab the food. I searched the tank and found decaying PIECES of the fish trapped under the filter.

    Me: "Tom, how long has it been since the fish has come up to eat the food you put in the tank?"

    Tom: "Huh?"

    Me: "When is the last time you've SEEN the fish?"

    Tom: "Huh?"

    Me: "When you put the food in the tank, like Laura should have been doing, when is the last time you've seen the fish swim up to eat it . . . like it usually does?"

    Tom: "Oh, now that you mention it, it has been a while."

    Me: "Look under the filter."

    Feel better?

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  7. ROFLOL Well... if it makes you feel any better, I would have thought the same thing! LOL

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  8. Ha!
    fish tanks...aren't they supposed to bring a sense of mental peace tranquility?

    And Alexis' shirt; that's just peachy keen!

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  9. that reminds me of times when someone tells a joke - everyone is laughing and I'm looking around wondering:
    a. what is so funny
    b. am I the only one who doesn't get it
    c. how did my husband get it and I didn't

    but, hey- with a beautiful playground lovin' girl like Alexis - you can be that much of an idiot!

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  10. This is me laughing: HAHAHAHAHAHA

    And now this is me saying: This right here is why I won't have a more complicated tank than I currently do: I'm far too much of a moron.

    :)

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  11. I don't consider myself an idiot either...but I have never heard of an exoskeleton! I would have thought the same thing!

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  12. Well, at least you're a funny idiot. I LOVE that picture of Alexis going down the red slide! Amazing that you captured that. Did you have the Canon?

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  13. At least you didn't make a big funereal production of the demise of the exoskeleton!
    Therockingpony for the shirts ladies. Mucho cool stuff.

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  14. I would just call it being thorough!

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  15. Nice. Look at it this way, you were being preventative. Yeah, that's it.

    I am loving Alexis' t-shirt. Too cute!

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  16. Nice. Look at it this way, you were being preventative. Yeah, that's it.

    I am loving Alexis' t-shirt. Too cute!

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  17. Hey I'm just as clueless with my daughter's fish tank. They had babies (????) and we got to watch one of the fish eat one...I had no idea they did this (the other three are still safe though)
    I love her shirt in the pics!

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  18. The shirt is from The Rocking Pony. There's a girl version and a boy version.

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  19. LOL!
    I love the first photo!

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  20. Good news! Alexis couldn't care less that her wonderful mommy (mama?) didn't think about exoskeletons!

    But of course, I'll hold it against you forever.

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  21. i claim complete and total ignorance about fish tanks.

    and we have -- let's see... one, two, three, four, five, um plus the one in roo's room, six tanks.

    yeah i have a kid who works at petsmart in the small animals and fish department. *shudder*

    you know i hate fish, right? they swim in their own ... uh... yeah.

    though i hate rodents more. and now we have one of those too.

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  22. LOL!

    My husband says I am one of the smartest people he knows - with some of the blondest moments imaginable.

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  23. Go CONFIG. And if your an idiot, I'm a size 0!

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  24. Thank God I'm not the only one whose done that. I thought our fiddler crab was dead until hubby told me different. The turtle did end up killing the crab eventually.

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  25. I love her shirt! :)

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  26. That shirt rocks! Go Karen!

    You're not an idiot. You're husband's just a certifiable genius (shh! Don't tell him I said that).

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  27. Oh that made me laugh--thanks for that!
    Great pictures-she looks soooo happy!

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  28. That. Is. Awesome. I so would have done the same thing. Not that knowing that should make you feel better given my tendancy to be idiotic. Just thought you should know you aren't the only one in the club...:)

    Alexis ROCKS the Rocking Pony shirt!!

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  29. LMAO! I would have done the same thing. Don't feel bad.
    I hate when the men are right. HATE IT. LOVE the pics of ALexis.

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  30. That is frieking hilarious! I think I might have done the same thing. I'd have no clue about that. Love Alexis' outfit!

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  31. You still know more than I do about saltwater tanks! My husband had one for a time and it was beautiful. He would tell me all about testing the water to check the salt content, maintaining certain temperatures, the importance of doing a water change every whatever weeks, etc. All I heard were crickets chirping in my head.

    Beautiful photos of Alexis! Kids and playgrounds. Perfect photo op!

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  32. I would have made the same mistake. And even if you are an idiot, you made a beautiful child! Those playground pics are fantastic!

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  33. This made me laugh so hard. You flushed a very menacing exoskeleton. I am guessing you never took zoology.

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  34. I must have that shirt!

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  35. At least you didn't try to teach Alexis about reproduction with a sea horse. I thought the lizard was dead when it was just molting. Apparently they pretend to be mannequins when they do that. What a great story!!!Thanks for the laugh.

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  36. Of all that I could say from that post, I will only say this. I am in love with Mr. Cannon and extremely jealous that he's not having an affair with me.

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  37. ImpostorMom2:14 PM

    cute, cute, cute pictures

    and salt water tanks officially scare the hell out of me

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  38. Why can't those worms be the ones croaking and getting flushed???

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