Wednesday, May 7

The One in Which I Tell You I Am Fat and Ugly . . .

. . . or at least I am when I'm in the same room as WTAE reporter Ashley Diparlo, heretoforth to be known as The Hawtness. Because she is.

And, let me back up a minute.

About a week ago, I received a suspicious looking email. It appeared to be some sort of prank claiming to want to interview me about this here blog for the local ABC affiliate, WTAE. I carefully considered the likely culprits of such a prank but quickly discovered that the IP address led credence to the fact that The Hawtness had emailed me.

And COMMENCE FREAKOUT.

Yeah, total freakout. Anyway, there was much discussion amongst the family back and forth to do it, not to do it. Relative anonymity, whatever. In the end, Mr. Husband said go for it and we all know I always do exactly what he tells me to do.

(That was really hard to type with a straight face, I admit.)

Anyhoo, the interview has happened. I mumbled, talked too fast, waved my arms around like an idiot, got teary for the most stupid of stupid reasons, and generally sucked ass while talking about the business of mommy blogging and why I do it. (If you want to see some much better bloggers than me do a phenomenal job of talking about the same topic, you can go here. Details regarding a meet-up to go punch Kathie Lee in the face are being worked out. Feel free to join the party.)

If I had been coherent and not completely in awe of the fact that The Hawtness (she is SO hawt in person) was sitting across from me, I would have replied that I blog about my daughter for my daughter.

It started out a wee bit differently in that I initially blogged for our family. We are spread literally all over the world and it was very impossible to keep everyone up to date as nine months of pregnancy turned into ten months turned into GET THE HELL OUT YOU HEATHEN CHILD. So, I wrote craptastic little blurbs explaining what was going on and posted them on a blog for a very restricted list of people. Then Alexis was born and I needed to get photos to that very restricted but very spread out group of people. So I posted them to the blog. Then I needed to keep them up-to-date on her shenanigans, so I posted them to the blog.

Yes, our family keeps in touch by reading blogs. It's a very one-sided sort of really good at keeping in touch that we do.

As time went on, I realized that Hey! This is better than a baby book! And, I can do this! So, I decided I was going to keep on posting to the blog. I had planned on keeping it all in the family, but then I started to read other mom blogs. Very quickly I learned a very valuable lesson.

I am not alone.

Lots of crazy moms think the same crazy things. Lots of crazy kids do the same crazy things. There's some sort of twisted comfort found in knowing that my kid is not the only kid who has pooped in the bathtub, for example.

So, I very quietly took the blog public. There was no fanfare, there was no party, I just unchecked a little box and that was that.

A few weeks later, I had another startling revelation. While I was indeed leaving Alexis this amazing legacy full of detailed information about what she was doing, I wasn't leaving much of me behind. For over a year, I wrote in a very stiff, uncomfortable prose. We're talking things like, "Alexis rolled over 5 times today all by herself!" Woohoo. Call the party wagon, right?

I was honestly doing the kid a disservice. To know her should be to know me. So, I slowly started to write the way I should have been writing all along. What you read these days is a pretty accurate representation of my personality. Sure, you don't get details about my life, but you do get a sense that I love my kid like crazy, I can find the funny just about anywhere, and I love my kid like crazy. When Alexis reads all this years from now, that's what I want her to know.

I love her like crazy.

So, me mumbling and saying things not nearly that well and doing so while looking fat and ugly next to The Hawtness will be airing locally on WTAE tomorrow morning around 5:15 am and 6:15 am. If you aren't in the area or are smart enough to still be asleep at those times, you'll be able to find it on WTAE's website. If I don't hate the piece too much, I might even post it here once it's available.

UPDATED: Here is the interview.

Oh, and Ashley DiParlo is The Hawtness, in case you didn't catch that.

Now continuing FREAKOUT in anticipation of seeing the final product . . .

59 comments:

  1. That is awesome!

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  2. Wow! Um yeah, I would be FREAKING OUT too...
    but Good for you! And how totally cool. I can't wait to see it :D

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  3. oh WOW! You're like totally famous!! I cannot wait to see it... setting the tivo now!

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  4. No! Way! And you kept that little bit of info to yourself for that long?! For shame, girl.

    You are neither fat nor ugly in person, and if the camera adds 10 pounds you've still got a ways to go before the term fat applies to you.

    I'll be watching. And listening. Congrats! I'm FREAKING OUT for you.


    And I love Alexis dancing in the rain.

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  5. Wow, wow, wow. Congrats girl.

    I really love the sentiment in this post. Obvs something I've been thinking through and working on.

    Congrats again.

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  6. That is AWESOME! You rock. I am gong to want to see that interview. How freaking cool!

    Oh- and that shirt Alexis is wearing- fabulous!

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  7. that is very cool news...can't wait to check it out...need to plan my strategy on how to act myself if I ever get to meet you face-to-face.

    and she is definitely Hawtness...very cute. I would be intimidated and stupid things would start rolling out of my mouth like verbal diarrhea.

    and Alexis? all I can think of is Superstar!

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  8. OMG!!! You're a rock star!!! I can't wait to see it!

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  9. You SO gotta post it on here for those of us who aren't in 'burgh. (But my dad is from 'burgh . . . that counts for something, right?)

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  10. I knew you were a total rockstar! Glad I jumped on the BBM train early now that you are famous and stuff. Now I can say "I knew her when..." and be all wistful when I talk to Jon about your worms and scary dolly pictures.

    Seriously though, you totally deserve all the praise and spotlight you get. Your blog is fantastic!!

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  11. Just remember that we're friends when you get all famous and your readership goes skyrocketing.

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  12. OMG! I'd pee my pannies too! Congratulations :) Can't wait to see!

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  13. Woo Hoo! That is fabulous.
    Can't wait to see it. I'll be watching it via interwebz :-)

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  14. hot, wait, HAWT dog!!! :)
    you go girl (lol)!

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  15. Shut the f-f-f-f-front door! You are hawt, smart, brave and a STAR! Way to go!

    And, yes, we don't write about our kids, we write for them. Well said.

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  16. Yay - congratulations! Can't wait to see it. I'm sure you were GREAT in the interview and just as HAWT as The Hawtness!

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  17. LOL. I'll tell my Mom and Dad to watch. I'd tell them to record but, uh, they're lame. Muahaha!

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  18. Lucky you! I'm sure you did better than you think. Still, I'm crossing my fingers that it never happens to me. I hate to think about it even.

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  19. You NAUGHTY LITTLE GIRL!! You twitted that something was up, but you never breathed a word. Remind me to tell you deep dark secrets from now on... You are a blogodominatrix. I'm so impressed I am able to celery you and lose to you in Scrabble. :) Smooches are in order, me thinks.

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  20. How fun to hear the story of how you started blogging. I am so glad you are being interviewed. You deserve it. I'll be watching the web since I have no idea who her Hawtness is here in KC.

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  21. That is so cool!!! You HAVE to post it!!!

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  22. woooot!! i know a famous person! i play scrabble with a famous person! i am, therefore, by association, famous!

    or famously lame.

    yay for you!!!

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  23. This is very cool stuff! You better post the clip up on here!
    Can I have your autograph?

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  24. Woohoo! Way to go, Momma! Be sure to throw a punch at Kathie Lee for me (I caught the end of their piece on Dooce on this morning's episode of Today . . . the woman who paraded every detail about her two children before the national media before finally crawling back into a hole somewhere had the nerve to try to criticize mommy blogger's about putting so much of their children out there!)

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  25. Oh great. Mrs. Blogtastic has to go rub it in that she's all POPULAR and shit. Pshaw. Like I even wanted that to happen to me? No. So didn't. I so didn't even want to be on the team. I just tried out because ... everyone else was doing it. Yeah. Uh-huh.

    Good job BB Mom. Truly. I wanna see the goods tomorrow.

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  26. Wow! Good job! That's so fantastic! I can't wait to watch it...please post it! I'm sure you weren't nearly as fat and ugly as you think ;) Seriously, she is hawtness. But you are too, so way to go.

    Kathie Lee needs some serious help if she thinks it is okay to criticize the Dooce mommy. Serious. Help.

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  27. WHAT?!! You kept that to yourself for this long? That is totally cool! Oh man, your hits are gonna spike tomorrow. If you get a book deal, I'm never speaking to you again, just so you know. (I'm totally kidding) I won't be up that early, but I'll definately check it out on the website. Oh, and the Hawtness - she's just a'right.

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  28. Pretty cool! Talking about "mommy blogs" is all the rage these days! :)

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  29. Yay for you! This is what happens when you have a great blog.

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  30. wow... she is the hawt. I have to agree.

    I started my blog much the same way - and also got to the heathen child point. I went public when I realized my friends were never reading it, so off I went to find new friends!

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  31. Wow! I am terribly impressed! Congratulations!

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  32. I keep coming back to look at that picture. Did you make her shirt?

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  33. NO! You are HAWT! And you ROCK!!!

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  34. Ooooh, you're famous!!

    And hawt, of course!

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  35. I am in awe.

    Can I be you when I grow up? :)

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  37. AWESOME!!! I can't wait to see it! Yeah, I'd be freaking out too--but I bet you look and sound fabulous--watch your hits skyrocket on your blog tomorrow!

    oh, i hope you won't forget me when your comments quadruple!

    another famous mommy blogger!!! yes!!! WTG!

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  38. Very cool! I usally watch KDKA at that time, but I will switch tomorrow just for you.

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  39. I'm sure you did a great job! Congrats on your appearance.

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  40. I saw the interview today on the am news!!! You look and sounded great -- you go girl!
    You done our 'Burgh proud.

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  41. I didn't get a chance to read your whole post yesterday b/c I was in the middle of trying to cook dinner, but I'm so glad you posted a link! I can't wait to watch it!

    Go, you!

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  42. That is way too frigging awesome. You kick ass.

    Now, did you talk about your future nuptials?

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  43. Go you!!

    And have you forgotten there's been pictures of you posted here? I'm gonna say you're in the same category as The Hawtness.

    LOVE the shot of Alexis :)

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  44. Please your VERY pretty! She wears like 3 pounds of makeup.

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  45. That is like the coolest thing!
    You just plain rock girl!

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  46. I can't wait to see it.

    "I knew her when...before she decked Kathie Lee..."

    :)

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  47. People at work are looking at me funny because I've come over a green color -- totally jealous of you!

    Congrats, and good job. We write for ourselves a little, but we do write to remember what this is like. It's so nice to be part of this crazy community!

    and when do we all get to meet? (You're so cute!)

    rpm

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  48. Thanks for posting the Dooce thing. I missed that (I know I am the only mommyblogger in the world who did) but I will join in on the march and beating of a certain co-host who wore a 80s dress to work today? WEIRD. Now you on the other hand, brilliant.

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  49. That was SOOO cool! You looked and sounded so great!

    And your interview was SO much better than that horrible Dooce interview by Kathy Lee. Ugh. I felt so sorry for Heather.

    You go girl!

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  50. Oh my gawd, you're famous! How totally cool are you (I think you rocked!)

    P.S. Please keep me posted on the Kathy Lee smackdown...I want to be there!

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  51. Congrats on the interview - I saw it over at Karen's site - very cool - you looked GREAT and did a great job representing all us moms and bloggers!!

    I am also being interviewed by a local morning show here (San Antonio Living) next Tuesday. They come to my house tomorrow to do some video - I am very FRIGHTENED! You give me confidence, I am so glad I saw this tonight - you did great.

    Take care - see you soon - Kellan

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  52. I just saw it yesterday! That was so cool! I thought you looked great! (I really mean it! I would have looked like an idiot!)

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  53. Please, you can totally whoop The Hawtness' ass.

    And you've got better knockers.

    I thought you did fantastic!

    Will you remember us little people when you're really, really famous?

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  54. That is awesome! I will have to watch the interview tonight! And this was well-articulated here, so I seriously doubt you sound anything but smart and funny in the interview!

    P.S. We have now had two poops and one stand-up-and-pee in the tub. I have had to clean up one. No fun.

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  55. No, YOU are the HAWTNESS!! What a great interview! Wonderful post too.

    And yes, Kathy Lee is an idiot.

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  56. Umm....I can tell you're your worst critic because the interview I saw was nothing like what you described! You ROCKED!!! I was expecting a version of you on speed or something, but you were completely comfortable and professional looking, you didn't ramble and you made all the points you said you wanted to make. WOW! Soon you'll be like Pioneer Woman with hundreds of comments *L* Thanks for sharing your mom adventures!

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  57. That was so cool! You you are ADORABLE! Congratulations!

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  58. that was great!!! and i love that i can say i knew you before you were famous... :)

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  59. ImpostorMom4:41 PM

    That was great and i'd say you're looking pretty Hawt yourself. :)

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