Sunday, June 8

If You're Old and You Know It, Clap Your Hands

I learned something muy importante this weekend. Actually, two things muy importante:

1. Alexis does indeed have the patience necessary to sit through a movie at the theater (strike up the band, start the parade, and let's party! Woohoo!). Just make sure there is a whole lot of popcorn available for her to shove down my shirt.

2. If a movie has the words, "Kung Fu" in the title, it's going to have a fighting in it. (I know, DUH.)

The first one is all sorts of exciting. (Well, not the popcorn down the shirt part. Obviously, that part is annoying, especially since I was picking it out all.day.long. Many people at the Arts Festival were privy to a very special show because of it. You can all thank The Toddler for those repeated peeks at the cousins.) The second one brings a shadow of doom and gloom to my life. When the thought that Kung Fu Panda was too violent flitted through my brain, I realized something.

Dude, I'm getting old.

To be totally fair to myself, I'm only 32. Not quite old yet. But, I totally thought that movie should have been called, "Kill Bill: Volume 3." Sure, the characters are fuzzy and don't cuss. They also seem to lack the ability to bleed, despite being beaten repeatedly with metal spikes. But, holy crap was that movie full of violence and scary images.

See that? OLD.

Alexis didn't seem fazed AT ALL by all the creepy-eyed creatures, thank ye gods of Things that Make Toddlers Scream for Hours. Mind you, when she drops kicks a kid in the head tomorrow at daycare? I'm totally blaming DreamWorks. Cause that's all the movie was--fighting, violence, drop-kicking, violence, punching, violence, and more fighting. There was more violence packed into those 90 minutes than into 100 episodes of Road Runner.

See that? Oooooooold.

That's what I get for thinking it was a good idea to go see a movie with a Panda Bear in it, just because Alexis is obsessed with all things Panda-ish. I mean GAH! Jack Black and Angelina Jolie do voices for it. Have either of them ever been in a movie that was suitable for children? Shark Tale hardly counts, if you ask my old brain.

At least I'm still younger than Angelina Jolie. I've got that going for me.

53 comments:

  1. anglophilefootballfanatic.com10:23 PM

    Yup! I know what you mean, mi amor. Mine has been wanting to watch Tom & Jerry, and in addition to being filled with propaganda, they are ca-razy violent. At least Alexis wasn't scared. Mine is scared of the cat & mouse antics. Pour me a margarita. This ain't getting any easier.

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  2. Sounds just like the kind of movie my action-packed little man would love. I'm so old that I don't even care anymore as long as they're entertained.

    Well, not really. But very close.

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  3. nanna nanna boo boo! you're older than me (do you see me waggling my hands-with-thumbs-in-ears at you?)

    We've been slowly introducing the original Star Wars (eps. 4-6 for all you hard-core fans) to Gavin...they were less graphic with the violence...would pan away...no blood, etc. But still doing it slowly and carefully. Because Justin's old (I refuse to admit it quite yet).

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  4. Thanks for the heads up. BB is dangerous enough, crashing Cars into each other repeatedly overandoverandover all day long. I don't need him to Kung Fu my butt in the process.

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  5. I hate to say it, but now I just wonder how old is Angelina Jolie?
    You are so not old btw:)

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  6. Ok, I'm dating myself here, but my mom took me to see "Roger Rabbit" when I was maybe 4 or 5. I think she thought it was a kids' movie . . . um, it wasn't. I was totally traumatized but WAY too macho to admit it so I made her stay through to the end. I don't think it caused TOO much brain damage.

    *snicker*

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  7. I remember my Mom bringing me to the movie Ghost. I was 9 at that time. I asked my mom that I'd like to have a hair like Demi's. Whoa. was she so willing or what?

    I don't remember trauma to any movie but I wouldn't recommend my child to watch kung-fu panda. Surf's up and finding nemo's okay I guess. :)

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  8. I think age wise I may have you all beat . . . when anyone asks me how old I am I say, "Older than Britney and younger than J Lo." It works . . .


    From music to movies, I've turned into such a prude at times. J doesn't even know what the heck is going on, but I still feel the need to start now . . . He did sorta watch the Simpsons with me the other night . . .

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  9. Oh for gosh darn sake. You're a BABY. I may have to stop reading you you're so darn young.

    Thanks for the heads up though, darling youngest has been asking to go see this.

    Oh, and....

    Clap, clap, clap.

    Sigh.

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  10. I end up with about as much popcorn down my shirt at movies. Ok, on the outside, but I can't seem to eat the stuff without spilling it all over me.

    I let my kids watch Tom and Jerry and cringe at some of the stuff and then remind myself I grew up on them. My favorite is when they smoke a cigarette. Today we watched Bugs Bunny with the kids(Rabbit Season, Duck Season!) Talk about violent.

    As for the Panda movie, Hubby gets to take the kids to that one. It has monkeys and snakes and I can't stand either, even in cartoons.

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  11. Hmmm first of all, you are NOT old... if you're old, I'm ancient! haha I never really thought of that movie being violent either... I'll have to think on this... though my kids REALLY want to see it so I'm sure I'll cave. *sigh*

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  12. Hey we're the same age (for a few more days that is....).

    Are you sure we're younger than Angelina Jolie? I remember thinking "My gosh, I'm older than her AND she has 10 kids already..." Not that I want 10, don't get me wrong! 2 is just fine.

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  13. I love the restyle!
    And I'm too envious that you can go to movies again, although, I'm not looking fwd to paying top dollar for kids' movies

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  14. Isaac and Gracie and I went yesterday. Gracie hid her head a few times. Isaac was chill. They both came home pumped up to tell Jon the funny parts and practice their Kung Fu moves. Now they have bruises. Lovely.

    I have a stomach ache from eating too much popcorn. I think THAT makes me old. Or immature. I'm not sure which.

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  15. roo-girl and i have a date to see the panda. on the other hand, she's almost 14. i think she can handle it.

    just for the record, though, think back on the disney stories you "loved" as a child. bambi? dead mom, fires, hunters. cinderella and snow white? wicked stepmothers and other evils. 101 dalmations? a coat of puppy skins???????

    i rest my case.

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  16. Um... you do remember that my loving children reminded me that I recently hit the "halfway to 70" mark, right?

    Yeah. So none of that "I'm old" crap from you, missy.

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  17. I used to let my daughter watch all the Disney movies, like Pocahontas and Little Mermaid (which came out when I was still in high school, ahem) and never batted an eye or thought twice. Now, I babysit my nieces who are 2 and 4 and I have reconsidered everything. The older one can handle most of it, but won't watch Beauty and the Beast (my favorite) because she said it was scary. But she loves Monster House, which we can no longer watch because it actually does make the younger one cry. And I watched Tom and Jerry too, and didn't grow up to be an ex-wielding serial killer, so go figure. Maybe we are just more sensitive to it because there is violence everywhere you look, and we think maybe we should shelter them at least in the cartoon world?

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  18. Count me in the club too. I started realizing just how 'scary' and bad dream inducing movies can be when Ashlyn started to watch movie. Even the princess movies have parts that make me want to cover here eye.

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  19. That's a great pic of your little swinger!

    And I'm totally with you on the scary movie thing... HATE getting old and turning into such a PARENT! haha.

    (p.s. don't know how late I am on this, but Love your new header over here!!)

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  20. Wait till she's 10 and wants to see the 300! Seriously. I was like, no way dude. Did you see the way Leonidas's wife gets boffed. Ut uh, no way, Jose.

    Pour me a Margarita, while you're at it, M!

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  21. Darn, I'm older than you and Angelina Jolie.

    My kids want to see that movie--maybe we'll wait on Wall E. instead ;)

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  22. Girl, you better not be calling 32 old. We are not old, just matured. Oh, wait, that sounds even worse. Thanks for the review, I don't need lawsuits from my son thinking it's ok to beat the crap out of someone because he saw it on a movie, so we will stick to PBS for now.

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  23. I can only think of one movie with Jack Black that could potentially be family friendly...and I can't remember if there was cussing (Be Kind, Rewind).
    We haven't seen it yet because I'm putting off annoying kid vids as LOOOOONNNGGG as possible.
    Sasha prefers the screensaver from the DVR anyway. Why waste money?

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  24. LOL.

    Meanwhile, me = mom of the year. Because my older son is nuts for Indiana Jones, we took him to see it. My daughter had to come too. She's five. Swearing + violence. Heh. Heh. M'yeah. It's all right though. To judgmental people who were sitting in front of us...I promise you my daughter knows it's not ok to say dammit or punch communists in the face.

    {crickets chirping}

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  25. Ahh... the life of an elderly parent. I don't know what your parents ages were when they had you, but my mom was 28 when I was born and I grew up with her saying "I was too old when I had you" in response to everything from music, to clothes, to what have you.
    Now that I am 32 (GASP) I sit here and I think "Really??? What does that have to do with anything?"

    HOWEVER, your post made me laugh. I catch myself wondering when the appropriate cartoons and "family hour" tv will come back on.

    Maybe not too old to be a mom, just old in general! (FYI I passed on a BEAUTIFUL award to you for your lovely cleverness and creativity!)

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  26. OK, the question is am I older than you? Because I'm 32 as well, but I won't be 33 until September 11th. Does that make me the youngun between the two of us, or the old fart?

    I was going to take Little Man to Kung Fu Panda, but now with your review I'm thinking we'll wait before dropping 20 bucks on popcorn again.

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  27. Dude, just save the popcorn down your shirt for a snack later. Convenient and you save money.

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  28. Holy crap. I take a three day break from blogging and you change your whole site! Wow. Like it a lot.

    As for Kung Fu Panda..I kind of wondered about the violence too. Jonathan is way too young for movies quite yet, but I might have thought about renting it.

    I guess I might be old too because that would have bothered me as well.

    Popcorn down the shirt. Yeah, I think that would have happened to me too.

    Your kid has such a personality. Just cracks me up!

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  29. We saw Kung Fu Panda as well but I must be mental. I liked it. My monkeys did come home and act out the kung fu scenes though but no one was left bleeding on the floor so I figure it's all good.

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  30. *Clapping*

    I like the new look!

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  31. You old fart. Kidding!
    A little.
    But I too worry that my child will act out the stuff he sees on telelvision. NOTHING is safe. Not even Disney. Disney says, "stupid", "Dumb" and all of that.
    Crap I sound old too.

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  32. Hey, I'm turning 32 in September and I agree with you - there is way too much gratuitous violence in cartoons these days! I don't think it's because we are old (we are not!), I just think that standards are worsening fast!!

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  33. Well, crap. If you're old, then I'm old. Crap.

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  34. Oh I KNOW! I didn't even realize how terribly violent Tom and Jerry was until I watched an episode with Carson the other day. And Scooby Doo! They talk about ghosts and monsters! Like I need my kid to start being afraid.

    Pass the Geritol.

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  35. Clap clap clap. Yup, I'm old, too. Not as old as YOU, I mean I AM STILL IN MY TWENTIES (for ten more months). But OMG, The Man took The Boy to see this and from the commercials it never occurred to me that this would be a violent movie (we really aren't stupid, right?). And The Man didn't mention that it was violent and I'm about to call him and be like WHAT THE HECK?!? This blog I read says Kung Fu Panda was violent, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? And he'll probably say something like, Well what did you think? and also What was I supposed to do, walk out of the theatre?

    But it still would have been nice to know.

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  36. Anonymous3:49 PM

    I took my 4 year old son to see Kung Fu Panda this weekend too. I THOUGHT IT WAS EXTREMELY VIOLENT AND SCARY for a 4 year old. He loved it!

    Keep in mind, although it is an animated kids movie, it is RATED PG. Which is, obviously, not always appropriate for all ages.

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  37. I have decided that we should totally be friends. We have so many of the same blog buddies. I've been lurking on your site for awhile. I'm enjoying all your pics. The little one is absolutely precious.

    As for the feeling old b/c of the violence from the "Panda" movie, ditto here, sister! As long as I don't turn into my mother....wait? Is that already happening? Please tell me no! Enjoying my visit:)

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  38. That's about how I felt about Lilo and Stitch. Who knew?! I thought it would be fun for the kids...NOT!

    Live and learn!

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  39. She's younger then me, I don't even have that going for me. :o(

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  40. Thank you so much for that public service announcement. ;)
    I think I am still going to take the kid, but I know he will be trying to Kung Fu everyone in sight after. Luckily he should forget it by the time school starts back up in the fall!! hahahahaha

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  41. You'll ALWAYS be younger than Angelina Jolie. And thanks for the heads up on the Panda flick. :) Any other movies you previewing for me this summer?

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  42. Yeah... so we totally saw it. I should have popped in and read your post first.

    Ugh!

    My Lola sat in my lap.

    Pssst... Im not on your blogroll. I'm off to check my own to make sure you are there. It has been a while since I have last looked at it.

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  43. Wow. I didn't know the movie was like THAT (you know, minus the title). Alexis is probably too young to get really freaked out by things on the big screen. Jamming herself into playhouses and watching the shenanigans of your fish is another matter.

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  44. shell9:00 PM

    yep! went to drive in to watch the kung-fu fighting panda. wasn't impressed . AT least they could of played the song kung fu fighting alot sooner in the movie. thats what finally got kaylas attention.

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  45. Erin couldn't stop pointing at the screen saying "pa, pa!" She was unfazed by the violence (and I was too, really; the characters were invicible so none of it made me wince at all in sympathy).

    She loved it. I thought it was a good ride for the parents, and okay baby-movie, and probably a good 7-10 year old flick.

    A whole lotta Star Wars going on (or, that might be backwards...)

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  46. Just wait until you're 36. You won't care anymore!

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  47. (clapping hands) Yes, I am old too. I find myself cringing when I hear cartoon characters calling each other "Stupid!" or telling each other to "Shut up!" My 4 YO is a 'fraidy cat so she'll cover her eyes in the appropriate "scary scenes" anyway. But cartoons these days are DEFINITELY a lot more violent!

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  48. I catch stuff in movies and my jaw drops and I look around to see if anyone else is hanging agape. They usually aren't... then I feel like a dork.

    But I am starting to get way more sensitive in my old age.

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  49. Hmm...I don't have small children so I haven't seen the movie. But I can only imagine with a title like Kung-Fu Panda that there must be violence. I can just see little boys now trying to emulate the kung fu chopping. Oh boy, guess I'm getting old, too.

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  50. freakin' HILARIOUS from a fellow 32 year old who realized I was old when I hosted a bridal shower for my best friend this weekend and well, lots of "women" playing the "I don't know if he likes me" game. Packed up my stuff and returned to my husband and four kids.

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  51. Talk about old. I'm so old I won't even *take* my kids to see that movie.

    Need Granny Panties now I think.

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  52. Not sure what everyone else said but I don't think it's that you're old, it's that you have a 2 year old. That's all! You're a toddler mama! I LOVED it...lurved it in fact! I our kids (12 & 9) loved it and I can't wait to buy it on DVD!! I've always been very picky about what my kids watch - still am. So much so that they can't even handle cheesy B movies like the old Frankenstein. They tried to watch ET too - couldn't hack it. Jaws? One look at that cheeseball, underwater decayed head that pops on screen & they were giving up. BUT when Bub was 2, he had this mad obsession with all things dino so I let him watch Jurassic Park (except for the two most graphic parts). Horribe, no? He couldn't get enough. He watched it everyday before naptime for a solid 6 months. He wouldn't watch it now for anything. Maybe he's getting old :P

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  53. So funny! We just saw it yesterday and you're right, some of those characters do have some very evil eyes. Of course one of my girls takes Tae Kwon Do so I heard a whole lot of "I can do that!"

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