Saturday, June 14

A REALLY Long Friday Afternoon

When you're sick, how do you act? Do you jump on the couch and giggle with glee? How about beg to swim and then spend hours playing in a tiny pool? Do you continue to carry on like a stark raving lunatic? No? Just Alexis?

Yeah.

So, earlier this week I had to take a field trip for work. Said field trip was going to land me back near work before quitting time, but not more than an hour or two before quitting time. So I found myself looking for excuses to just call it a day and not end up back in the office. I mused that perhaps I would take Alexis to the doctor since she had been suffering from a runny nose for a while. In the end, I let it go when I ended up getting back too late to actually get an appointment.

Then I got to thinking . . . that nose sure had been running for a while. Definitely a week. Actually, definitely two weeks. Come to think of it, when was the last time it was NOT runny? I dunno. A month, maybe? With that thought, I started to pay a little more attention to any signs or symptoms that might tell me that the Toddler was suffering from more than a case of Igotodaycareandswiminnastygermsallday-itis. Lo and behold, she was coughing, too. Not often, maybe once every couple of hours. But, when she did cough, it was gooey. Like, the river that was flowing from her nose clearly originated in her lungs.

At that point, I was 99% in favor of taking her to the doctor, just in case. That 1% hold out was the part of me that was clinging to the "it's just a runny nose" thing. I opted to throw the question out on twitter, and within minutes, a bunch of moms said they would take her.

That was enough for me to pick up the phone.

I'm pretty sure that when I call our pediatrician's office, the triage nurse opens up Alexis' folder, sees that she is an only child, and immediately goes into You Stupid First-Time Moms and Your Overreacting Mode. She heard "runny nose" and "occasional cough" and put me on hold, probably so she could mock my Crazy First-Time Mom ways. When she picked up again, I sensed that we were headed down the path of Just Wait and See, so I started to tell lies. Bold-faced lies. Suddenly, the kid also had a fever, watery eyes, and was extra-fussy. I didn't mention the part where she was at daycare and I hadn't seen her in hours. Or that she totally seemed fine, except for that runny nose and occasional cough.

The whole time I was telling lies, I was wishing that woman worked at the door at Target. I could save thousands of dollars a year if she just stood at the door and made sure my venture inside was warranted.

"I see here that you aren't due for a routine visit for seven more months."

"I know, but it's sort of an emergency."

"What do you need?"

"Razor blades. I really need to shave my legs."

"You're an old married lady with a kid. Nobody cares if you're growing a new National forest on your legs. Admission DENIED. You can call back when it's a real emergency."

Seriously, if Target made it as hard to go drop $100 as the pediatrician's office does, I would have zero debt.

I managed to somehow finagle an appointment for later in the day. An hour and a half into the joy that is a Friday afternoon at a pediatrician's office, I found myself wondering if I could track down that triage nurse and punch her. The kid had a double ear infection and some sort of respiratory/sinus thingy going on. If I hadn't resorted to lying, I'm sure she would still be suffering.

To be honest, after being trapped in a small room for an hour with Alexis, I didn't really think the trip was going to be worth it. But then, as if on cue, Alexis started hacking up a wet lung the very moment the doctor came in the room. I'm sure the doc thought I was AWFUL for letting the kid suffer that long, but seriously, she coughed more in those five minutes than she had in several weeks combined. She actually coughed enough in front of the doctor to warrant a breathing treatment.

I would tell you all about that ten minutes of joy, but I looked at Will Smith's little light and bloop-blooped that from my memory. All that's left is the knowledge that at some point in my life I tried to hold a little mask up to a psychotic hippo's face. I don't think it was fun, but I can't be sure.

So now my Not-at-All-Sick child is taking the happy pink crud in hopes of putting an end to her nose trying to run all the way to Mexico. I just wish she would have told me she was sick.

(And, Alexis, if you're trying to create a "Tough Mystique," you might want to put an end to telling me to kiss the boo-boo on your foot when you accidentally kick a speck of dust. Telling me your ears hurt is GOOD. Keep all pains less significant than an ear infection to yourself, please.)


40 comments:

  1. the pics are beautifull.she looks like having so much fun.i hope her cold and cough reduces.

    :)

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  2. Dylan also has an ear infection in one ear, which I would never have known if he hadn't also broke out in a very weird rash unlike his usual, which turned out to be impetigo. So, between his ezcema creams, itch medication, antibiotic, and my ezcema creams, and allergy medications we could be running a pharmacy over here. Give me a call if you need to score something.

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  3. I love how all doctor office nurses "know" your child better than you, who live with her! *sigh*

    She is a cutie-pie, though!

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  4. Aww. Riley did that to me. She had a double ear infction and never once indicated the pain! Kids are just so much fun, aren't they?

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  5. At least you got her in to the doctor and she is getting meds now. Some kids just don't show signs. She looks like she is having FUN in those pics!

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  6. Oh man, I have SO been there! I would have pushed to take her, too. Seems all the little ones are sick right now Isn't it supposed to be summer? Hope Alexis feels better soon!

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  7. Oh my god! She's a little trooper for not complaining more. I'm glad you took her to the Doc. Definitely worth the lies :)

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  8. We went through that same scenerio with Cooper shortly after his 1st birthday . . . the ear was so badly infected and swollen that the doctor was fairly sure it would rupture going down the huge hill leading away from the urgent care center. I was leading contender for 'Mom of the Year' on that day. I guess kids really are resilient!

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  9. anglophilefootballfanatic.com1:53 PM

    How'd I miss that twit? I'm sad I did. I would've told you to go. And, both of ours sick and not complaining at the same time. I wonder what's up?

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  10. I'm a very laid back mom. In fact, I've not called nor seen the pedi outside of regularly scheduled appointments. Sabrina is pretty healthy and the couple of times she has had the sniffles it was just a little cold. But I am so afraid that I am too laid back and I'm going to take her in for her 2 yr appt and they are going to shout at me because there was something wrong and I missed it because I was busy being the not uptight, cool first time mom.

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  11. It happens. To all. Take care.

    And once again, also great pics!

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  12. What a little toughie! Wow! I am super impressed.
    Hope she feels 100% soon! :)

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  13. So I read this post last night and starred it to comment today because I just wasn't in the mood to comment last night and I dreamed about this transference of boo-boo thing ALL NIGHT LONG. In my dream people would tell me they had a papercut and I would ask them if they were SURE it was the papercut that hurt or was it potentially a sprained ankle.

    Glad you were able to get her into the doctor and hope she feels back to her 100% no runny nose self soon!

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  14. I hope she's feeling better. Ear infections suck!

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  15. "I tried to hold a little mask up to a psychotic hippo's face." HA!!! I laughed out loud at THAT image!!

    I seem to remember a problem you've had getting her to take medicine in the past. Sounds like that's better now?

    Don't beat yourself up for that 1% of doubt thing. It's the very percentage that some day, when she's a teenager, will que you in to the fact that she's lying through her teeth. ;o)

    Keep us posted on her progress.

    OH! And the Target Nazi thing - Maybe we should start a Care Circle where we agree to call a Circle partner if we feel the urge? Couldn't hurt!! LOL!

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  16. Poor thing! Although she doesn't really seem to be in poor shape. That's good!

    I'm just glad you weren't sent home with your very own nebulizer to give breathing treatments to the psychotic hippo every few hours for days on end.

    *twitch*twitch*

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  17. Aw, poor Alexis! My little guy does the same thing though.

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  18. I'd say I hope she feels better, but it's obvious she does. So I hope she heals up quick. And maybe all this snot, etc., was waking her up, causing those fun late-night wanderings? maybe? no? well, maybe she'll still sleep better now, whether from getting some meds for her ears & snot or from playin' in the pool.

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  19. dude ... You and Alexis ought to feel the love as I am reading your blog on my iPhone. My kid would probably pick up a chair and clobber me over the head with it four hundred times if I wasn't clued in to the ear infection after four hundred consecutive hours of bellowing. Then he'd projectile vomit for good measure.

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  20. either they don't let you know a thing or they scream bloody murder for reasons that you can't fathom ... until you figure it out.

    kids. can't live with em, can't eat em.

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  21. We have a really healthy house, so we are rarely doing sick visits at the peds office (though we have a fantastic group!). I have one toddler who never acts sick unless I stumble on it though. For instance, back in march, she was happily playing outside and running around with the others after supper. I bring her in to take her bath and after taking off her long sleeve shirt and pants, saw spots all over! Took her temp - it was 103! What do you know - the little bugger had the chicken pox; I felt like a horrible mommy 'cause I hadn't noticed beforehand.

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  22. Jonathan had a double ear infection one time and I had no idea until he started screaming bloody murder -- wow. Talk about a nightmare visit to the doctor's office. Wish I had Will Smith's little light to block it all out. It was a total disaster and the worst doctor's visit ever....

    Hey, at least you discovered it before she ended up hooked up on IVs or something. You might have felt a little more guilty then!

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  23. I'm lucky in that the Howler's doc's staff would encourage me to bring her in if I just said (and I am indeed quoting), "She just ain't right."

    Of course, with a 13 year difference between the Howler & the Toad, it was very much like being a first time mom all over again, and I did get treated that way occasionally.

    I guess I just put off a vibe that says, "do not EVEN question my competence." If I could bottle it and sell it, I'd be rich.

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  24. Mine acts basically fine when he has an ear infection too. The runny nose and a little off with his appetite and in we go for an ear check.

    I love the Target analogy! Heh. I need that at more places than Target.

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  25. We took our kiddo (by we, I should say my husband) to the doctors on Thursday and he also had a surprise ear infection. Oh course, his wheezing and cought miraculously disappeared while at the doctors and returned shortly afterwards. I'm hoping the antibiotics will get whatever is causing that too.

    We actually own a nebulizer because Cole was so sick and congested throughout the winter. Of course, I stopped BFing and his wheezing and constant cold went away in a week. Nice.

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  26. I'm so glad I didn't respond to that Twitter, because I would have told you not to go, and then you would have flown all the way to Dallas to crotch punch me for being a bad advice giver.

    And seriously? This is beyond freaky, but every single time Little Man has had an ear infection as a baby, I didn't know about it until his well visits when the doctor would peer in his ears and say something along the lines of no medical book has ever seen an ear infection this bad and what kind of mother am I to let him be like this and this is the reason he's short, is that the ear infections are absorbing all of the energy from the little food he eats.

    But the kid never freaking cried or complained or tugged at his ear, just like Alexis. I mean, what the hell are moms like you and I supposed to do? Learn to read minds?

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  27. sounds just like Bean. He cries over the tiniest scrape. But ear infection time he is mum.
    Then I take him in to the doc after something seems amiss and he has been sick FOREVER. Makes me look like the worst mom ever.
    WHY do they not tell us these things?

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  28. oh my gosh, I was worn out just reading it! We have very different Drs indeed. Mine jump at the chance for us to come in. I could tell them that my kid has a splinter and they'ds say "...hmmm better bring them in just to be sure!" Here's hoping Alexis' nose quits dripping soon!

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  29. Hugs about the sickies. Awesome dumping picture. Awesome!

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  30. I've taken my kid in for a check-up before and walked out with an ear infection. There were no symptoms whatsoever. And, you may remember my recent bought with strep for Peanut. She infected her class for at least a week before I took her to the doctor and discovered it was more than a runny nose and crankiness.

    Hope she's feeling better soon.

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  31. I swear, they hunt for the nastiest ladies to be the triage nurses!

    Ours would never give me an appointment and then when they finally do the doctor looks at me like I am a horrible Mom for waiting.

    Now...I lie too....or just say, "I need an appointment." and when they ask why, I say "My child is sick and I need to see the doctor."
    They try to put me off, but I think they know that if they don't, I will bug the doctor at 3am when my kid is up coughing...cause if I'm up, someone needs to pay!

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  32. That part about a door lady at Target - too funny! And omigod so true.

    Hope Alexis is feeling better. And yeah why can't they just tell us their sick instead of this whole song and dance guessing the symptoms? That and the manual would just make life too simple huh?

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  33. I hope the pink stuff works.

    It is only when my kids are dragging themselves across the floor in their own sweat and snot that I really know they are sick. They never slow down long enough for me to notice otherwise. I am really kind of crappy at that whole part of my mom job.

    LOVE the pictures!!

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  34. Mine always had really weird and horrid symptoms but were fine by the time I got them in. I don't think anything is supposed to come out of their mouth when they cough. That alone should have been enough for them to take you in.

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  35. How kids do that act fine when they're sick thing, I wish I could channel it when I'm sick. At least she coughed up a lung right on cue.

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  36. Brilliant idea about Target! Sadly I don't think they'll implement that plan for us.
    Hope the little one is doing better!

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  37. Brilliant idea about Target! Sadly I don't think they'll implement that plan for us.
    Hope the little one is doing better!

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  38. Yeah, last December I took Boy-Child#2 in for obvious pink eye only to be told that he also had a double ear infection and a sinus infection. I was so ashamed.

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  39. Poor Alexis! That must really suck. I'm glad you pushed it and got that appointment.

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  40. Glad to hear you got her an appointment. We shouldn't have to lie to get one but it seems like we always do unless we want to take one two months away on stand-by.

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