Friday, August 8

All Around the Random Tree

Update from the Fishtank of Horrors: The last time we checked in on the little fishies, there had been a bit of a domestic altercation of the Clown fish kind. It seemed that Belly had quite enough of The B*tch's crap and had done a little fighting back. Well, a few days later, Belly went REAL crazy. Instead of calling the fishy police and filing a victim statement, he/she went all vigilante and MURDERED The B*tch. Yup, the B*tch went from being Queen of the tank to be Queen of the throne very suddenly. I'm pretty sure the jury will see that Belly was acting out of self defense, but the trial isn't scheduled for a few months.

Further Proof that I am a Dork: If you happen to one day be cutting raisin bread for your two-year old and she is a wee bit impatient with the process and the shrill yelling freaks you out so much that you nearly chop off a finger, think very hard before slapping a the pretty pink Hello Kitty Band-aid over the bloody gash. You may think that there is no way anyone will notice your princessy moment, but if you have a softball game? EVERYONE will notice the pretty pink kitties and will give you crap about it. That is, of course, entirely a hypothetical situation. It has never happened to me. I only wear manly Band-aids.

About Softball: The Just for the Heck of it softball season has come to a close, and my team found ourselves with a perfect record. Of losing. However, there wasn't a single moment in which it mattered that we couldn't win (or even come close), because we had more fun than any other softball team in the history of softball. No, really. We did.

(Huge thank you goes out to Mr. Husband for being totally cool with being a single parent for a few hours on game days. You rock, sir.)

Falls Under the Category of Completely Unnecessary: The Toddler. Oye, her mouth. She has two new habits that have me looking for a nice rickety bridge to stand on while semis drive by at 100 mph. The less bad of the two is her new variation on, "no." She now says, "nuh-uh." I LOATHE it. I want to scream just hearing the first syllable. One thing no toddler needs is to be able to express "no" in multiple forms. Hate. It.

The other thing she's been doing has me thoroughly screwed. She is beginning her I Want sentences with, "I have an idea!" How the hell do you say no to, "I have an idea! Let's watch Dora!" It's like she's doing me this giant favor by doing the thinking for me and coming up with some sort of genius idea. Hate. it.

Rain Rain Go Over Here, Please: Wal-Hell has been running killer clearance sales on summery toys lately, including a line that has picnic baskets, gardening tools, and rain gear in it. So, we picked up a few items for next year. However, when Alexis decided that she didn't care if it was only 75 degrees out, she was swimming, I put on my Genius Cap and yanked out that rain gear for a little splish-splash fun. It was indeed fun, but now I just want it to pour one day so we can truly get our umbrella on.


25 comments:

  1. One of my favorite sayings is "I'm thinking not." Maybe it's time to introduce that to the fun new "I've got an idea!"

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  2. And under the Dork category -

    Oooh, look at me be first!

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  3. The B*tch is dead?????

    nuh-uh. it's not true. really. is it?

    hey. i have an idea. get another fish?

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  4. That rain outfit has to be the cutest thing I ever saw. And the pictures are spectacular.

    Makes me realize how much my kids were robbed of beautifully taken photographs to document their youth by not having you for a mother. Alexis is a lucky, lucky girl.

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  5. She is so cute.

    My little boys favorite phrase is No, I am not gonna. He uses this for anything he doesn't want to do. So I started using it back. He doesn't like that as much.

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  6. good for Belly- the B*tch had it coming! Your kid- too adorable in that rain gears!

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  7. When I saw you were doing an update on the fishtank of horrors I rushed right over! I love, love, love those updates. Not so sure now. Poor B*tchy. Belly must be one of those people that's really nice as long as you don't get on his/her bad side!

    The last time I tried to chop my finger off while cutting a frozen pork chop while my child distracted me, I had to call my mom (who's a nurse) to come stitch me back together! (Ok, she used steristrips, not stitches.) I'll take the girly bandaid anyday!

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  8. Hey! My kids were robbed of having you for a mother too! Want 'em? They're teens noiw, so they don't talk back as much as a two year old. Really.

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  9. I swear if it weren't for the blogging world I would never even consider going to HellMart EVER . . . but all these tales of good deals and that super, awesome, adorable set of rain gear has got me reconsidering. Screw the museum . . . there is plenty of culture to see in Hell!

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  10. I love the rain outfit! That is so cute!!!

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  11. I have an idea! Alexis IS a genius.

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  12. She's all green! Very eco friendly. And, you know not to shop at wally world. Egads. This is grounds for annulment.

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  13. Umm.... she has matching rainwear?

    So flipping awesome.

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  14. Rhett has been starting his sentences with, "Mommy I have to tell you something..." which is so freaking cute there is no willpower against the cuteness of the request that follows.

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  15. My toddler says, "I feel like I need to..." or "I feel like I need a..." It gets me every time.

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  16. lol. Days from now, she'll fire you from being her Mom. Now, that's going to be FUN.

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  17. Oh mah hell she is so adorable!
    Wishing y'all some rainy days!!!

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  18. I love her little slicker and wellies!

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  19. She is SO cute! So cute!
    I saw a little girl over the weekend that could have been her twin!
    I was like "Hey I know her..."

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  20. That is one well coordinated child. I mean look at her rain outfit. Wow!

    Glad you had fun with your softball team, that is so awesome.

    The B*tch is dead, eh? Wow, talk about a turn of events...

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  21. Love that rain gear! And the "I have an idea!" She's just so super cute!

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  22. I'm still bitter about the B*tch. What a pansy ... she got what she deserved.

    *waiting for karma to smite me*

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  23. Sounds like Belly grew a big set of knockers instead of a pair of cajones! Poor B* I'll be sure to watch for her to float by so I an pay proper respects from one old B* to another. ;o)
    =====
    And just what is wrong with wearing Hello Kitty bandaids??? I have Sesame Street ones that I sport with pride.

    LOL!

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  24. bwahahaha at Karen's second comment. ;)

    I love the rain gear. Target also had some cute gardening and rain gear on sale/clearance, yet my wallet BIT me when I attempted to put said cute items in the basket. Probably good since Justin would actually KILL me if I spent money on that. :( So I will live vicariously through you and Alexis.

    Also, I have Sesame Street, Backyardigans, and Batman bandaids that I wear frequently. Mostly because I'm too lazy to buy some non-kid bandaids, but also because they're kinda cute. :)

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  25. First of all, Hello Kitty Band-aids are totally manly. Yeah-huh.

    And, that last pic is truly priceless. Freakin' love it.

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