Tuesday, August 19

Justifying a Future Purchase FOR REALS

As many astute people noticed yesterday, bike time for Alexis is a bit like the Princess going for a leisurely ride in her chariot. As her trusty steed Mr. Husband drags her around, she puts her feet up, sips a little premium beverage, reads a book or two or ten, and is always accompanied by at least one of her best friends. Of course Alexis is a demanding Princess and requires just the right books, just the right water vessel, and as a safety-minded sort of Toddler, she insists that Baby Shell not just accompany her, but that she do so while seat-belted into the chariot. It is The Law.

This evening was no different. As we rolled down the bike trail, Alexis jibber-jabbered to her Baby Shell, all comfy and cozy in her chariot. As we hit the home stretch, nearly back to the car, Mr. Husband and his Princess were well in front of me as my bike has suddenly caught a case of The Stupids. I don't really know what its major malfunction was, but the chain kept slipping causing my feet to suddenly lunge off the pedals. Since I don't really think a face plant into concrete would improve my appearance, I opted to slow down and try to be careful.

I am officially extremely grateful that my bike caught The Stupids. If it hadn't? I totally would have missed an exchange by two people who were lounging around on the trail (OF COURSE they weren't walking. Why would anyone WALK on a bike/hike trail?). As I slowly rolled past them, I heard the two women disagreeing.

"Did you see those two babies in that cart?" one woman asked.

Her companion replied, "That wasn't two babies, that was a baby and a doll."

"No, that was two babies."

It was the Toddler and her doll, but you just KNOW I was totally laughing that somebody thought Baby Shell was a real kid. That, my friends, is absolute proof that I need to buy a scary doll.

38 comments:

  1. Because everyone wedges their infant in the corner of a bike trailer . . .

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  2. Really, I think its scarier that that poor woman thinks Shell is real. Because honestly? She freaks me out more than some of your other freaky babies. She's kinda got that "Chucky" vibe, ya know?

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  3. oh yeah. cuz shell really does look like a REAL baby.

    and don't bring that scary stuff back here. i'm still having nightmares.

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  4. Shut UP! You're killin' me! There is no way that woman was serious! Was she? Holy crap, she must not be getting any sleep either. She's more insane than US! :)

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  5. As creepy as those damn dolls are, I totally think you should buy one and drag it around in an infant car seat. Be sure to get one that looks particularly sweaty.

    ;)

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  6. But her doll doesn't even look real? Was the woman partially blind?

    Hallie

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  7. Did you ever see the show where they had a guy pretend to leave a baby seat on top of the car and drive away? I totally see you doing stuff like that with a Creepy Baby.

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  8. anglophilefootballfanatic.com8:51 AM

    Oh, dear. Now I'm very scared. You could seriously get that $95 doll and it could be freakish. As in wearing it's own Halloween costume without needing to buy any further costume.


    And, how sweet to give Big Water a little linky love. I'm sure the plasticrap is appreciating it. Smooches, lovah.

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  9. You're just looking for an excuse aren't you? :) But if you DO buy one, I think you ought to let US vote on which one you should get!

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  10. clearly, Alexis is the favorite.

    Or maybe, it's a socialological study of "Survival of the Fittest".

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  11. I think those two women caught a case of The Stupids also.

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  12. Get a giant blow-up one that has a diaper then you can use it for the the HOV lane, too. That's much more economical.

    Thanks for visiting me!! I swear I'm not all about sex...really. (yeah sure lady...porns stories...blow-up dolls...mmmhmmm.)

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  13. Don't do it. Please, I beg of you not to do it. There is never and will never be a reason to own a scary doll. Please. Fo reals. Please.

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  14. yep sounds like a "sign" to me.

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  15. Jeebus. You're gonna buy one.

    I have to agree with Madame Queen. If we are to be tortured with Creepy Doll, the least you can do is let us vote on which one you buy.

    BTW- Did you get my e-mail about the Creepy Doll?

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  16. What would have been SUPER funny is if Alexis had played a Jackass moment and thrown Baby Shell from the chariot.
    Those people would have freaked!!!
    I'm sick aren't I?

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  17. You totally need to buy one of those freaky dolls. That way you can make it a regular here, dress it up the way you like, pose it with the dogs. You know - general fun and mayhem. Do it!

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  18. OMG, people are so stupid! I hate stupid people, but I have to admit they can be amusing.

    If you buy a scary doll and stap her in with Alexis you are going to have to start keeping score of how many people freak out when you pass them, LOL

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  19. When my sister was four, her doll (Nicholas) was the size of a six-month old and looked pretty real, but in a Baby Shell way, not a scary doll way. We were at the airport, on our way to moving to Tahiti (look at me with the exotic places name dropping). My sister was throwing her "baby" in the air as high as she could yelling "WHEEE!" and my parents were sitting nearby cracking up at her. A man actually came up to my parents to say that it wasn't safe for my sister to be throwing her baby brother like that.

    Right at that moment, my sister didn't catch "the baby" and it came crashing to the ground.

    My parents laughed even harder, and the guy, realizing that it was actually a doll got really pissy and stormed off.

    I think any time you have the opportunity to mess with people's minds, you should.

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  20. Oh no. I can only imagine the pranks you would play on people if you got your very own scary doll! You will be freaking people out left and right, won't you?

    I have to admit, it would make for amusing reads...

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  21. Shell is really freakin' me out. I think I'd "lose" her. If you get my drift... ;) ;)

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  22. Shell is really freakin' me out. I think I'd "lose" her. If you get my drift... ;) ;)

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  23. Your bike wasn't the only thing with a case of The Stupids...

    And NOOOOO, no scary doll please!!

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  24. Hi, I just have to say I found your blog recently and like it. I used to have one of the hard plastic kiddie trailers and would pull my 50lb dog around in it (he had a pillow and everything)... boy would people give me odd looks :-) But hey, he's doesn't walk in a straight line, so I couldn't put him on one of those doggie bike runners, so that was the next best thing. Let me tell you - once I got 2 50-lb dogs, the dogs stayed home and the trialer found a new owner.

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  25. Umm how old was this woman? I think she might need to either get glasses or have her eyes looked at again.

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  26. Mandy3:00 PM

    I had to laugh at the fact that Baby Shell just has on her unitard (that is her body) - that is pretty much the look all the dolls have around here. ;-)
    And, I totally would have made that same mistake. Since, you know, all infants have rigid fingers, toes, and a blank stare.

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  27. My daughter has a similar baby, and it's really freaked people out in the past too :)

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  28. Imagine if you did have one of the creepy baby dolls. You'd either clear the trail or draw a crowd of people dying to see the creepy kid! But Alexis will always be the cute kid in the chariot if that's the case!

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  29. No more scary dolls please!!! LOL ;o)

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  30. I vote no scary doll!

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  31. This has nothing to do with bike rides, but I was at Books-a-Million yesterday, and saw a scary doll on the COVER of a MAGAZINE!!! Are they kidding me? Thought of this blog as I ran screaming the other way.

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  32. Maybe they were legally blind? ;)

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  33. Don't do it!!! For the love of God DON'T DO IT!!!!!

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  34. Do it. And put it in the fishtank. That? Would be hawt.

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  35. lol PLEASE NOOOOOO! Alexis will have nightmares about New Baby Shell!

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  36. Do it . . .there are simply not enough scary baby dolls in the world right now . . .

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  37. It cracks me up that someone thought Baby Shell was real. Who would stuff their baby in the corner like that?!

    Clearly you don't even need to buy a "realistic" doll to have people mistake it for a real baby. Although the types of people who would mistake Baby Shell for a real baby...well, I'll try not to judge.

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  38. You really do need a scary doll. But I'm insistent that you wear the thing strapped to your chest. Or better yet, your back.

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