Monday, September 1

Breaking Out the Curses

This past week, Alexis has been a little sh*t. You know I don't normally swear around here (and am slightly editing because) this whole shebang is for Alexis and I don't really want to argue with her some day about whether or not it's OK to say whatever word (Ha! As if there is any way out of that lovely discussion!). Frankly, that's the only word that describes what she's been doing lately. She's been a little sh*t.

Long, long ago, in a land very near here, there was a child who was a fabulous sleeper. Her Mother had been very regimented about the whole Stay in Your Bed and Don't Bother Me at Night Law of the Land and it had worked. Weeks would go by with the child peacefully sleeping through the night and leaving the parental units alone between the hours of 9:00pm and 6:00am. It was a blissful existence.

And then came Christmas.

Christmas where the little family spent a week in a hotel and the simplest sleeping arrangement was to have the child sleep in the big bed with the parental units. Apparently the sweet child grew very in love with this arrangement because upon the return home, she refused to sleep through the night and she refused to stay in her own bed all night long.

Months went by and the Evil Mother battled the child night after night after night after night before finally deciding that letting the kid wander into the Parental Unit's bed in the middle of the night was preferable to dying of sleep deprivation.

And so it came to be that Alexis ended up in our bed every. single. night for months on end.

Every night. For months.

Until this past week.

Suddenly, on Day One of the Staycation, Alexis stayed in her own bed. Sleeping. Until 8:30. Why yes, she didn't just stay in her bed all night, she SLEPT IN.

Be still my heart.

On Day Two of the Staycation, she did it again. And again on Day Three. And Day Four. In fact, she slept late IN HER OWN BED every single day of Staycation.

The little sh*t KNEW we didn't need to get up and thought it would be fun to screw with us.

Mr. Husband has to be up at 5:30 tomorrow morning, and I have to be up at 6:15. $100 says Alexis wakes up screaming at least four times and ends up wrapped around my head like a Toddler Helmet before 2:00 am.

The little sh*t.


  1. *sigh*

    I really feel your pain with the no-sleepy-in-bed thing.

    I'm too depressed about it to go into further details.

    *hangs head in shame*

  2. I'm still laughing at 'parental units'! Love the picture.

  3. Anonymous10:57 PM

    Aside from my 3 nights in Las Vegas last April, I cannot remember the last time I slept without a child (or two) in my bed for at least a portion of the night. I love my children dearly, but after 8:00 at night they are evil, and are conspiring to drive me to the brink of insanity thanks to sleep deprivation.

    Maybe I need to send hubby out-of-town again . . . the 6 days he was gone, they slept until 7:30 every morning (they are normally up at 6:10!)

  4. But she's a CUTE little sh*t. And she's YOUR little sh*t.

  5. I hope she proves you wrong. But chances are...

  6. I love a good bet.

    And since we're playing with Monopoly Money, I'm betting that she stays in her bed.

    Sweet Dreams!

  7. ErinPatricia11:39 PM

    I love that picture!

  8. Dibs on her sleeping in. :)

  9. she's staying in her own bed, and it is because she KNOWs, yes KNOWS, that you really like it when she wraps herself around your head and...

    Good luck!

  10. Hoping she shows you some mercy.

  11. Oh they know. They always know. I'll be anxiously awaiting your report in the morning.
    But you'll totally get her back when she's a teenager and wants to sleep til noon. Trust me, it's the most fun I've ever had!

  12. Hmmm . . . I'm sleeping with the baby whisperer.

    I'm thinking of having a few more babes just to see how good he really is.

    Here is hoping you'll be bypassing the helmet hair . . .

  13. I'm with Amy. Paybacks are... well, you know. They're a shaggy female poodle.

    LMAO at your imagery.

    Hope you got a tad bit of sleep doll.

  14. Seriously, the toddler helmet makes me laugh every. single. time. Funniest image EVER.

    You don't even want to know how long we put up with Gracie sleeping with us. It was either that or never get to bed before dawn. And she made a very large, lanky toddler helmet. Or she kicked me out of bed altogether.

    Little Sh*t indeed.

  15. My toddler used to sleep in his own bed too....


  16. Hope she sleeps in her own bed for you.

    I love that picture.

  17. But toddler helmets are all the rage this season!!

    Hallie :)

  18. My kid has been a little Sh*t for almost two years now.

    He lets me sleep in, yes, on days I am off...sometimes...but not this weekend. Oh no it was to bed at midnight for him and up at 7:30 or 8 a.m. What the heck?! I even had Monday off.....the little Sh*t then tried to sleep in today .. the day I had to go back TO WORK. Arrrrgh!

  19. Aidan had me last night in a scissor neck hold for the majority of the night. What a great sleep I had...NOT!

  20. So far, we have managed to bypass this...fingers crossed for you:)

  21. Just saw you over on June Cleaver's site. Glad I found you. And... I totally can relate, but just with a different issue.

    My kids have always been perfect eaters--not picky, like anything, you know the type (got it from T-Daddy). Then, we went on a 3-week vacation and now, my youngest won't eat anything but Macaroni & Cheese. Did I mention I hate to make Mac & Cheese? Along with changing this habit, he also introduced whining into the mix. KILL. ME. NOW.

    Good luck with your little one and avoiding the "Toddler Helmet." You deserve it.

  22. How do they know?!?! And why can't they just stay in their own bed???

    I fear for the day when we take our toddler out of the crib (which may be coming sooner than we'd like). I know she'll try to come to bed with us all the time. She's just like that.

  23. .......well, she may be high least she's adorable!

  24. Um, sorry about that. But, more importantly, did I ever tell you that I love when you take artsy fartsy shots like the spoon one? Have I talked to you about my contest idea yet? I know I haven't - great ideas - no follow through.

  25. anglophilefootballfanatic.com2:59 PM

    How dare she go and do that to you. Women!

  26. LOL
    I'm telling you, they know. And they get used to the big bed soooo fast. I am going through a similar thing with Stella right now. But of course Stella has never really been a fabulous sleeper. So my husband and I sleep in different rooms. And have to go to the guestroom in the basement to have any kind of close encounter. Ah, the joys of parenthood.

  27. I'm sorry. My son is the ring leader of this whole movement. I can't stop it any more than I can stop a hurricane. He rallies the troops to wake their parents up nightly... I will work on it for you so that maybe he just tries to take over our state and leave others alone

  28. ah, she is messin' with you big time.

    and her revenge will be sweet!

  29. Yeah, she's messing with your head ;)

  30. Oh. I have such memories of this.

    You NEED to post and tell us what happens.

    Here's hoping you get sleep!

  31. Yep, sometimes shucks just doesn't cut it.

  32. ahhh, parenting...

    you know what I've told my kids? I don't like the words, but sometimes there just isn't any other way to say it... So she may not like it, one day- but when she is exhausted because of her kid, she'll get it.

    Crazy isn't it? our kids with kids???

  33. I'm always grateful when they sleep in when I also have the opportunity to sleep in. So YEAH!

    Here's the theory: she knew she didn't have to get up so she slept in. Problem solved: have in-laws move in so she thinks it's a staycation all the time.


  34. I can't wait until the payback the teenager days!Mine usually stays in her bed all night but feels the need to come and get in my bed every morning at 0 Dark Thirty.Here is a typical morning...

    Whichever she is in the mood for that morning.

    Unhappy mom:What are you doing Lil C?
    Lil C:Mommy up?
    Unhappy mom:No I am never getting up
    Lil C:Mommy up!Eat mommy?Cereal mommy?
    Unhappy mom:No starve I am sleeping forever
    Lil C:Mommmmmmy uh uhhhhh UP!

    It's just great that she comes in and decides while I am in a dead sleep that my music just isn't loud enough.

    Then there is the 6 yr old who I feel sorry for because she has been having nightmares again.So she slept with me all night last night and has ended up in my bed at some point every night for the last week almost.

    Daddy will just love this when he comes home huh?

    Hope you get some sleep soon!

  35. I have a kid who likes her own bed.

    The grass is always greener on the other side of the bedroom. *sigh*

  36. Haha, oh god...I hope she kept/keeps this trend up for you. Or at least cuts back on the 2:00am screaming.

    Love the photo.

  37. Anonymous4:40 PM

    Lurker coming out...Love your blog. When my daughter was in the 5th grade I would wake her up at 3 or 4 in the morning, at least twice a week and tell her she was late for school. She would cry that she was still sleepy, then I would tell her ok, mommy loves you so she is going to let you sleep a little longer. I HAD SO MUCH FUN!...The little sh*t DESERVED it!