Monday, September 22

I Want My Grandma

My Grandma Norma fought a long battle against bone cancer and eventually passed away just before I started second grade. Since she passed so early in my life, I don't have a lot of memories of her, but I do remember black cherry Jell-O with Cool Whip, snowstorms so bad we had to hold on to a rope tied between the house and the barn when we needed to go feed the animals, and a very deep and life-changing discussion about boogers.

I was probably about 4 or 5-years old when she caught me digging for that golden treasure. She sat me down in the kitchen and told me how it wasn't very lady-like to pick your nose. Somehow our conversation meandered into booger-eating territory and she told me all about how that was just plain yucky. She even went so far as to demonstrate. I learned a valuable lesson that day and never again got caught picking my nose.

Now that I'm adult (sort of), I'm willing to argue that EVERYBODY has times when the only way to get the treasure out is to go digging, but I can absolutely agree with Grandma Norma that you shouldn't get caught with the pinky shovel up a nostril. There should be no picking while sitting at your desk. There should be no picking while shopping. There should be no picking while at the movie theater. There should be no picking while in the car, despite the feeling of invisibility inside all that metal and glass. You have to save the treasure hunting for a time and place when you are truly all alone.

This evening as we were driving back from our usual bike ride, I glanced over at Alexis and caught the sweet child knuckle deep digging for gremlins. I said, "Alexis, please don't pick your nose." She responded by yanking her finger out of her nostril and shoving it in her mouth. Then she cackled with glee.

I think I need Grandma Norma to come explain about boogers.

27 comments:

  1. I guess we're pretty lucky that Happy does not dive for treasures. He's a tissue using dude. His younger sister though could use some training. She's a dainty picker.

    There are many adults out there that could have learned much from Grandma Norma.

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  2. Sometimes it's like a finger is a magnet and those little gems hidden in the depths are metallic. Kids can't resist the pull.

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  3. it seems so gross, but I think I ate my boogers too.

    I don't actually remember doing it, but I remember my grandmother telling me that if I kept eating them, then worms would grow inside of me. The horror of this traumatized me enough to stop doing it.

    aaahhh.... this wisdom of my grandmother....

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  4. Funny that you write say this today... We had "the talk" with The Flash today and laid down the law regarding his perpetual digging and eating. Also told the teacher. It is soooooo gross! Last night he awoke, and in his sleepy stupor what did he do? A little digging. A little sucking. Then went back to sleep!?!

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  5. I could loan you my Grandmother if you want...she can be scary, so it might just work

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  6. "gremlins" = too funny.

    I really DON'T get it, all the booger picking and eating. What's the fascination anyway? ICK!

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  7. Oh mah hell. We just had this discussion at the mall with a friend and her kids.
    Her 3 yr old informed me that if you pick your nose there are worms that live in the boogers and they'll come out and gnaw on your finger if you pick your boogers. If you eat them, the worms will come and eat your hiney. Oh yes. She was dead serious.

    My daughter, about died. I had to bite my tongue and this 3 year old was dead serious.

    Hope you laughed.

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  8. When Alexis is a teenager, and she's reading back through this virtual baby book you've created for her....

    Out of all the many embarrassing posts you've written (such as her love of Dora), THIS will be the one that totally freaks her out, and starts her screaming "OH GAWD MOM!! HOW COULD YOU EMBARRASS ME LIKE THIS???"

    That should be a fun conversation to have in about 14 years. :)

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  9. At least she's not in the habit of smearing the treasure over your nice white walls. I need a grandma norma here too.

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  10. I think we're all just convinced that someday we might discover buried treasure!!

    Hallie

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  11. I hated that part of training my kids. They were pretty insistent on munching down, especially my son. I suppose it was a little bit of waste-not-want-not. Ugh.

    Perhaps you should channel Grandma for a day?

    Peace - D

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  12. Oh, gross.
    Sasha's in that phase where he thinks his nostrils are holsters for the fingers he isn't sucking and is very interested in exploring the depths of everyone elses orifices.
    I think we need to stop encouraging the hound to eat Kerrygirls "eye boogers" (gross, I know, but it's one less grooming task for me) or we may end up with a child who thinks boogers are for eating too.

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  13. This is hilarious! And also made me think twice before I go an grab a toddlers hand!

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  14. I'm sure she is proud that THAT is the legacy she left behind - proper booger digging etiquette.

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  15. That was definitely the sweetest post I've ever read about boogers. :)

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  16. Oh the joys of boogers! Why just the other day Little Logan gave his sister a present. Lets just say it was not well received.

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  17. How I wish there were a picture of that one!!!

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  18. My older boy has taught the younger boy to "dig for treasures". Now they both do it. In church. And laugh about it.

    At least they get along, right?

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  19. *gag* that was something my parents were certain I'd never do. I was never a booger hoover. If I even looked at a booger eating in-progress or thought about it, I was in danger of puking on the spot. Oh I'd pick 'em & stick 'em, but never ever eat 'em. We had the worst time with our two when they had a mutual booger phase that lasted.for.ever. They'd pick & stick on the toilet paper roll, on the cabinet ABOVE the toilet paper roll, on the cabinet BELOW the toilet paper roll...on the wall in the bathroom, on the sheets *gag* *gag* Til we thought we'd go insane. What's so hard about putting it on the tissue & throwing it away??

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  20. Diva calls them pickles. Gross. I wish we could skip that part of parenting. I agree, sometimes the digging is necessary, but please, use a kleenex when you are done! Then, of course, WASH YOUR HANDS!!!!

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  21. Ew. Watching a kid eat boogers is just gross. Mine all did it.

    My grandma taught me how to blow my nose properly. I had no idea that there was a right way, but I guess I was probably wiping it all over my face. Ew.

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  22. Cute. And scary.

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  23. Hilarious and gross. LOL. I could lend you my MIL's mom. She is a hoot, I'll tell you.

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  24. Pinky shovel...HAHA! That one made me laugh.

    I caught Evie with her finger up her nose the other day. Crap. And so it begins...Gracie still gets caught every once in a while. Ew.

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  25. For the first time EVER our children did the same thing at the exact same time! Knute got caught gold digging and licking. He thinks it's funny. Stupid me for telling him the dog likes to eat them...he of course, had to try them himself.

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  26. LMAO! Thank god I have a tissue user!

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