Saturday, September 20

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Once upon a time, Dawn lent me a ponytail holder during a softball game. There was nothing special about the ponytail holder, it was just a chunky silver/gray band that came in very handy in keeping my hair out of my face on a hot Wednesday night. Giving me the ponytail holder was a kind gesture, or so I thought.

Holy hellinahandbasket do I hate that ponytail holder.

I'm a loser and forgot to give it back to Dawn at the end of the game. Instead, I took it home and tossed it onto a side table. Alexis found it, decided that it was a "bwacewet" and made it her own. She stuck that sucker around her wrist and toddled around with it there all day.

Somehow she ended up losing it for a few weeks, but it was recently rediscovered. In fact, it was rediscovered last Wednesday. Alexis was the one to find it, and she was quick to shove it back on her wrist. She went to daycare with it still securely in place. She came home with it still securely in place. She went to sleep with it still firmly in place.

The following morning I decreed that 24 hours is the maximum allowed time for any accessory to stay on a short person's body, so I slipped it off while taking Alexis' pajamas off. She didn't notice, and I figured we were done with the "grey bracewet" for a few days.

Uh, no.

Because I'm an idiot.

When we went to ride bikes later that evening, I happened to grab that exact ponytail holder on my way out the door. I twisted it around a nice neat ponytail behind me head as I walked to the car, not even thinking about the drama that could ensue. Once we arrived at the bike trail, as per usual, Alexis immediately set to ripping the ponytail holder out of my hair. She has issues and can't stand my hair up, so I didn't even think to stop her.

The moment that she realized she had THE ponytail holder was priceless. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree and she quickly put her Gray Bwacewet on. I, being an idiot, was all, "HEY! That's my ponytail holder! I need it!"


Um, toddlers don't share. And they certainly don't willingly hand over cherished items. After a few minutes of attempting rational negotiation, I stooped to the two-year old's level and just snagged the thing then jumped on my bike and took off. I figured Alexis would realize she had books and dolls and all kinds of fun stuff in the bike trailer and would immediately forget about her bwacewet.

See? I'm an idiot.

Mr. Husband finally caught up with me about ten minutes later. Alexis had been screaming the whole. freakin. time. Non-stop. He says people were actually staring at him because she was WAILING as if she was going to die. Surely that has happened--kids die from not wearing bwacewets all the time.

When will I ever learn not to get between a girl and her accessories?


  1. got that right. I hope you learned your lesson.

  2. Today it was between me and my unruly 5-year-old son and his fruit snacks. Wow! Didn't know how precious of a commodity those were to him.

  3. Sounds like my Sophie and her snot. She actually says "That's from my nose! Give it back to me!"

    Yeah, she's gross. Totally her father's child.

  4. Wow - you really ARE a mean mommy! LOL! Too cute!

  5. Dawn is never getting that thing back. Another awesome Pittsburgh picture! Love how her hair is blowing in the wind.

  6. You took her bracelet??? Surely she is penning a Mommy Dearest-style memoir in her head right now. It is great that you are preserving these moments on your blog for her to use in her book.


    Seriously, it IS great that you are preserving these moments, this precious, human, family, and funny moments. Laura has become attached to all manner of dried leaves, empty paper cups, a collection of empty toilet paper rolls, etc. Once? She wore the same t-shirt for months.

  7. Anonymous10:43 AM

    Both of my kids are OBSESSED with hairties - and insist on wearing them as 'bwacets' (or armbands in Maren's case - she puts it right above her elbow.)

    I have said it before, and I will say it again . . . you are going to get a run for your money with that one!

  8. Anonymous12:49 PM

    My kid is the SAME way. Anytime I put my hair up, she shrieks "Hair DOWN!!!" until I have no choice but to comply. And God help anyone that tries to take her "braclet".

    Love the picture!!

  9. I don't think Dawn will be getting that thing back any time soon. BTW, remind to not let you borrow any of my hairties. ;-)

  10. No, the bigger question is "when will you learn to just let her run the family and all will be well?"

  11. Oh boy. Be afraid for when she becomes a pre-teen. Be very afraid.

  12. Too cute!! Great pic btw!


  13. Toddlers...can't live with 'em, can't send 'em back!

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  15. By all means... Alexis is more than welcome to keep the hair tie!! And I absolutely love that she wears it as a bracelet. At all times I have one of my hairties on my wrist (not that I can really use them anymore since my hair is short... just habit and a security thing, I suppose. Or, you know, just in case there's a hair emergency and I need it... or you need it... Ahem). If I leave my house without one on my wrist, my day is all out of whack. I feel her pain... and she can have my hair tie any time...


  16. Sounds like the perfect Bwacewet to me. Sorry, but it does!

  17. Anonymous10:42 PM

    you're right. a "sharing toddler" is an oxymoron.

    LOVE LOVE LOVE those photos.


    that last one would be blown up to a 30x40 print and obnoxiously hung in my living room.

    waht a great shot! your header is awesome.

  18. Honey, do we need to take up a collection to buy you some of your very own hair ties so you don't have to borrow Dawn's or try to steal Alexis' priceless accessories? I'm betting that poor, traumatized Mr H. would be the first in line to make a donation. ;o)

  19. She doesn't like your hair up? That girl is all personality all the time. Good thing you have a blog to keep the rest of us entertained. :)

  20. I love the riding along with screaming child in tow image. It sounds like what happened to me when I tried to get SUmo to wear his helmet in the bike trailer. And you know everybody else out on the trail is thinking "What the hell are those people doing wrong to make that kid scream like that?"

  21. Ha - ♥ it! Have had the screaming child in the tow-behind happen several times. I like to think of it as my personal siren, so that people on the trail up ahead know to get out of my way.

    I left a little something for you on my blog.

  22. Yeah, that was crazy! I can't believe you thought you would get away with grabbing and running! Toddlers are smarter than us and have longer memories. And are way louder.

  23. Bwahahahaha! I can just here her screaming down the path "I want my Bwacewet"

  24. It gets worse the older they get. My son is 7 and still acts like that. Well not over bracelets, but everything else.

  25. i love that photo of alexis and the city, but holy crap does it make me nervous. probably because i am a klutz and would have fallen head first into the river and expect children to be as ungraceful as me. (can you tell that i don't have kids?)

    cracking up at her freaking out that you stole her bracelet and your poor husband getting dirty looks. priceless!