Saturday, October 11

Fear of a Four-Letter Word

Every Saturday morning should start as fabulous as ours did today. I mean, how much better does it get than to have a wide awake Toddler wander into your room at 5:30 asking for a drink of water? Not only that, but we had the extra-special pleasure of having that Toddler crawl into our bed and a few moments later say, "Momma, my mouf." I know that doesn't sound all that exciting, but that was Toddlerese for "Dude, I'm gonna blow chunks all over you and your bed any second now and *BLAAAAARGH*."

Good times.

Bedding was changed, puke was cleaned off people via the use of the patented Whore Bath (a wash cloth and water), pajamas were changed, etc. As exciting and fabulous as that all is, that was not the highlight of the day.

The re-entry of the word "puke" to Alexis' vocabulary fit that bill quite nicely, thank you very much.

All day long, she of no fever or signs of illness was all about saying things like, "Momma, I don't wanna puke" and "Momma, I need to puke" and "I pukey." Each and every one of the 13,528 times she mentioned puke I was absolutely convinced that she was about to yack all over the back seat of the car, my lap, or wherever she was sitting. Each and every time it was a false alarm, but how do you NOT take that kind of threat seriously?

It was a lot like wandering through a Saturday with a gun to your head. A weeeeee bit stressful, to say the least.

BTW, if you stare at a kid long enough, you will be able to convince yourself that he or she is looking a little green. And if said kid develops a case of the hiccups while you are waiting for chunks? You will age 10 years instantly.

Just sayin'.

BTW, I think her little stomach just freaked out because she ate a funnel cake, French fries, and a piece of chocolate Friday night. That's more crap food than the alien who prefers Lima beans to Snickers bars usually eats in an entire week.

28 comments:

  1. I am envisioning you wetting yourself with every hiccup and find that all kinds of funny. I should feel guilty over this, but we're also blowing chunks so I can laugh, right?

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  2. Does she do the spray? You know when they try and cover their mouth but with their fingers splayed?

    You can totally hit the roof and all four walls with that kinda action.

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  3. ImpostorMom7:44 AM

    nail on the head with that gun to the head comment. OMG how I hate the puke. I dread the winter hoping we don't get another string of stomach viruses.

    Seems like hers was an isolated event, hope it stays that way.

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  4. puke is the worst- so sorry you had to deal with that! Ashlyn had the stomach flu one day almost a year ago--I still flinch when she says her belly hurts.

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  5. Another gorgeous picture! Hope today is better, and involves no four letter words.

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  6. All I can say is "Ugh"! Love the pic though :)

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  7. All I can say is "Ugh"! Love the pic though :)

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  8. oh wow, what a way to start the morning. Hope that today is better and there's a bit less 'gun to the head' feeling ;)

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  9. I dread the "real" vomit that I know lies waiting in my future. I may need to go see a cosmetic surgeon about getting my nostrils sewn shut!

    Hope Alexis is feeling better!

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  10. Yeah, Boy Child had that same thing a few weeks ago - only our word that was repeated a gazillion times was "barf". He wasn't sick in any other way either. But it lasted 1 night and a morning. Chocolate milkshake and McD's fries were everywhere! Hope she feels perky again soon.

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  11. i agree with your funnel cake theory. all of that would have made me blow chunks too.

    ""*BLAAAAARGH*"".....this is a sound that I know well:-)

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  12. Eww at the thought!
    Absolutely LOVE the photo you posted!

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  13. Aw, poor Alexis. (And poor Mommy.)

    Barf is the one thing I have trouble dealing with. All other bodily things are fine, but throw up? Blarg for sure.

    I'm glad she didn't have a repeat of the morning. No more crap-loads-of-junk-food for Alexis, I guess!

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  14. Mmmm...funnel cakes, fires & chocolate cake! Poor babe, I hope she's feelin' better! ...sounds rough. I must have said to Big Daddy three times yesterday at the pumpkin farm, as we passed screaming or otherwise irritated or needy toddlers & their poor parents, how glad I am that we're past that stage. Although mine still want me around when the chunks fly, at least they can make it to the toilet. So there's hope on your horizon.

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  15. Puke is the worst. The best is when you're driving and you having nothing to contain the puke. Because? That smell takes weeks to leave.

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  16. My all time favorite will always be puking from the top bunk, hitting the cold, hard floor and splattering all over the walls and furniture ... and toys. Good times ... Now the kids get up in the middle of the night, go to the toilet, then tell me in the morning.

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  17. i'm partial to hearing about it after the fact, myself.

    altho once drummer man, at 18, stood in the doorway of the bathroom and SPEWED -- and then woke me up. it's amazing how far puke can travel.

    oh, and did you know it can turn corners too?

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  18. Awwwww. I hope she's feeling better.

    And with regard to the "Whore Bath" I can only assume that you were using a Dora washcloth? :-)

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  19. Yuck. We just went through the exact same thing out here - and for the exact same reason . . . turns out birthday party grub doesn't sit well in a stomach that hasn't had cake since his own birthday in April. Never has "My tummy hurts" made me move so fast in my entire life! Hope she is back to herself!

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  20. Ugh - I hate that....

    I actually have a funny poop story from Last night after the circus...

    (Funny poop story??? Who knew I would ever utter those words...)

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  21. Well, what can I say? I know you wouldn't write this unless you were intending people to laugh, so here's to ROLF!!!!!!
    Thanks for that!
    DUDE! A calming Sat. with a gun to your head.....LOVE it!
    just sayin' myself;)

    Didn't you have a giant plastic bowl to give her? She can wear it as a hat until the big barf-o-rama!

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  22. Sorry. Really I am. I hate puke (I mean HATE puke).

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  23. "the alien who prefers Lima beans to Snickers bars usually eats in an entire week"......I completely agree with this statement.My 6 yr old does not like chocolate but she will never speak to you again if she doesn't get the salad bar at Ruby Tuesdays.

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  24. That reminds me of how when Sumo was a baby he'd get colds, cough really hard, and then puke. And then every time he'd cough I'd be running with a towel in case he'd puke. Good times.

    Yeah - my kid's a freak, too. He has recently started to reject ice cream. WTF - what kid doesn't eat ice cream?

    I hope it's not another stomach thing at your house ...

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  25. Ah, yes. We did the vomiting thing late last winter. Only ours was a reaction to the antibiotic...and the doc's office, the first two calls, kept saying, "It's the flu. Don't give her the meds 'til she keeps solid food down for 4 hours." And like a dummy, I'd give her toast and applesauce (while listening to the starving thing whine), wait 4 hours, give her the meds, and then hold her head over the bucket.

    Apparently, sometimes, it takes not having a medical degree to know that 24 hours of that kind of fun means it really is a reaction to the meds. It was so very hard not to "duh" them on that last phone call.

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  26. Oh ew!!! I hate the pukes with a passion!

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  27. 1st of all, that picture is amazing!!!

    That said, EWWWWW! That is a horrid 4 letter word for sure!

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  28. Oh, that's just sucky! For her and for you. Puke is just no fun at all, especially waking up to it spewing on you! I hope that she got better and didn't have any more.

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