Monday, November 17

Celebrate!

We were duped. DUPED. When we first brought Cody home, he was all sorts of angelic. He displayed absolutely zero annoying puppy behaviors. No chewing. No destruction. Heck, he came mostly paper-trained, so it's not like even the whole housebreaking thing was all that bad. For a week we marveled at his extreme tolerance for all sorts of torture, the way he didn't seem to care to chew on anything except food, how he really wasn't even interested in toys, and his total and complete lack of a Care Face. He was soooo chill. For a week.

I guess he thought he came with some sort of 7-day return policy because on day 8 BAM! There's the puppy! In the span of twenty minutes that I spent trying to put garland on the Christmas tree today(don't even start mocking me for that--Christmas is only 36 or so days away), I do believe I yelled at him 14,251 times.

"Cody, let go of the garland."

"Cody, quit eating the snowflake."

"Cody, put down the paper."

"Cody, quit pulling on my sweater."

"Cody, leave the tree alone."

"Cody, stop chasing the cat."

"Cody, let go of the garland."

Lather, rinse, repeat. Over and over and over and over. I would no more than spit out one command and he would have already moved on to the next object of his affection, weaving a path of destruction all throughout the house.

The split seconds of silence were filled with yet another . . . ummmm . . . challenge. Yeah, "challenge." It seems that there was a pop quiz scheduled for tonight. The 18,450 questions weren't all that difficult, just . . . "challenging."

"Momma, what you doing?"

"Momma, where's Cody?"

"Momma, what's that?

"Momma, what you doing?"

"Momma, where's Jasmine?" (Yeah, we still get that question, and we still like it about as much as we would like to be stabbed in the gut with a knife.)

"Momma, can I have crackers please?"

"Momma, what you doing?"

"Momma, why you doing that?"

Of course I had an answer for all the questions, but that doesn't mean I was all that interested in answering them. Over and over and over again. While trying to keep an eye on Destructo-Pup.

Just as Massive Brain Explosion was about to set in, Alexis decided the pop quiz was over and broke into song. The kid pretty much always has her mouth open, either talking or singing, and has been known to sing songs that I know she didn't hear in my car. For example, daycare loves to let the kids groove to oldies like KC and the Sunshine Band. Yet, I was still surprised to hear the new tune she belted out. As she sang, "Cele-brate dot com, c'mon! Cele-brate dot com, c'mon!" I totally forgot about the Duper Puppy and the Pop Quiz.

Celebrate dot com, indeed.

35 comments:

  1. Puppies are so much work. Cute. But a lot of work.

    I hope you have even patience. Lord knows, I had none when we rescued a puppy 6 months ago. You seem to have more patience than me though. Hang in there. Be assertive.

    On day 18 our puppy bit my son's friend during a playdate and on day 19 he found a new loving home. We still miss him. But I didn't have enough time to be assertive. Wrong time for us.

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  2. Oh my gosh! I think she may have made some sort of jingle to some sort of dot.com thing. :)

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  3. OMG, he sounds just like the puppy we adopted this summer! Mijo, the rat-terrier/chihuahua, was such a sweet and timid little guy for the first week, causing my sister to lament that she thought we were missing out on experiencing a REAL puppy who runs around and nips and chews stuff! Well, she spoke too soon, because after a few days when Mijo realized he was here to stay, he became Devil Pup! And he remains Devil Pup, to this day. Between 9-month-old Mijo and the human toddler in the house, I feel like I'm CONSTANTLY cleaning up bodily fluids and pulling weird things out of mouths! Plus the baby eats the dog's food, and the dog eats the baby's food. And the dog steals the toilet paper from the bathroom and runs around with it, leaving a trail of paper wherever he goes. And both puppy and toddler climb up onto the kitchen table and walk around. Its become a very strange household!

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  4. Celebrate dot com? That is freakin' genius! Can I adopt her please?

    And... surely their cuteness makes up for all the questionable behavior! : )

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  5. Are you sure the Toddler doesn't read your blog yet? The whole "celebrate dot com" thing makes me wonder...

    And, as for the furrier tiny terror, they had it doped up on something prior to you bringing it home. The drugs have now worn off. You may need to go back for more.

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  6. celebrate dot com? bwahahahahahaha...

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  7. I love this! Bug is always walking around grooving to his own tune. Its like we have our own personal soundtrack to life. :)

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  8. Look at how fashionable that kid of yours is. Seriously. The ballet flats? The leggings. The J-Crew romper thingie.

    Sheez.

    I know you're a total closet-shopping-whore.

    Good luck with the puppy. Dude, you totally should have just had a baby. At least they wear diapers to contain the mess.

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  9. You have started already?

    Damn you.

    My family have padlocked the shed and say I have to wait till at least this weekend.

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  10. Ah, the honeymoon phase is over. They are cute and sweet just long enough to make you fall totally in love, then....

    There are a lot of things in life that pull this particular stunt. Men, kids, dogs, to name a few.

    Still, they ARE cute and sweet and lovable, so what can you do?

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  11. At least she's, like, totally dressed appropriately (polo dress, leggings, mary jane ballet flats) for her foray into 80s music. *giggle*

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  12. At least the daycare doesn't make them listen to that god-awful kids music. :)

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  13. Love her wings. :)

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  14. Celebrate Dot Com? LOVE IT!! haha

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  15. dot com. that's great!

    about as many times as you were saying "cody...." I was saying "please use your INSIDE VOICE!!!!" ugh.

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  16. I always suspected the words were dot com!! Love her lyrics!!

    Hallie

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  17. You know this is what it's like to have a boy. Cody's your first boy, right? And, good luck with the 20 questions. That never ends. And, it's FUUUUUNNN!

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  18. Also, maybe I need to introduce her to this amazing 80s pop icon I know.....just to torment momma.

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  19. @mary ellen--I actually prefer the spunky Cody to the no-personality havin' puff of fur that he was before. It just means a LOT more work to keep him out of trouble.

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  20. *ahem* When we got our first dog, Chance, it was right after Halloween. Since he was still new to us, we kept him in his cage, in the basement (with the light on and radio playing of course) during the work day. Well, one day he learned how to OPEN HIS CAGE, and of *COURSE* it had to be a day when the basement door was also left open. He managed to EAT AN ENTIRE STRING OF CHRISTMAS LIGHTS... OFF of the tree!

    Yeah. He ate the wires and munched each one of the lightbulbs, and left only the connectors - honestly! Dang dog. I had to start padlocking him in his cage because he could literally get out of it in 15 seconds.

    Good thing he grew out of that phase.

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  21. Good thing Cody is cute, huh? Good thing Alexis is cute, too!

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  22. I put my tee up today and as soon as Aurora gets home from school it's decorating time!!! YAY!!!

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  23. I am finding this all sorts of amusing. This year? I wont' have the only pup that's destroying Christmas faster than I can put it up.

    heh heh heh

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  24. Ok, no dog for me.

    Celebrate dot-com. Future blogger right there.

    Alyssa loves that song Shake It, by Metro Station. She'll start singing "shake shake a shake shake". And don't you dare think of turning the station or the wrath of toddlerdom will fall on you.

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  25. puppies are hard work...

    Celebrate dot com... priceless. Genny went through a "dot com" phase too...

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  26. My girlys love KC too ... They burst into "Shake Shake Shake, Shake your BOOTY"

    And I prefer the 70s to the crap on the radio today.

    Alexis is a STAR. She's bound for great things.

    I gotta get my camera out, it's getting DUSTY! I love your daily shots of the STAR.

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  27. Thanks for the reminder, I forgot I have a newish puppy and Christmas tree time is coming. Would it be bad if I "forgot" to put up a tree this year? I am not looking forward to the distruction.

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  28. I thought that was what they were saying!

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  29. It is only 11/18 - let the mocking commence.

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  30. Awwww but he's SO cute! LOL I LOVE that picture! LOL

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  31. Too cute. You have the patience of a saint, I think. And don't worry, I wanted to start decorating on Saturday but HB wouldn't let me so I started hauling things down from the attic tonight while he is working late!

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  32. I just bought Granilla a lawn ornament today! She's never had one before. I'm excited. She's horrified. It's a really tame intro into the lawn ornament thing, but hey, it's a first step.

    Next step? GIANT ANIMATRONIC SNOW GLOBE! BWAHAHAHA.

    PS - Cody is really effing cute.

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  33. hee hee! my son was saying www dot yada yahda dot com by like 18 months!!

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  34. *L* Funny! I guess puppydom pretty much stinks now. I had a dog like that too. He was a miracle puppy...a gorgeous black lab pup that just wandered up in the yard one day with no collar. I wondered why anyone would anyone leave him outside by himself - he was gorgeous! We put up signs, we notified the SPCA etc...not a word. He was the picture of perfection then about a week & a half later, we left the house as usual only this time we came back to TOTAL ANNIHILATION. THAT'S why no one called. Let's just say he found a new home quickly after that. Here's hopin' your little man Cody snaps out of it. P.s. you know those boy dogs start marking EVERYTHING once the hormones kick in right? I'm just sayin'...

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  35. Is it wrong that I'm laughing at the list of things you said to the dog?

    Yes? Oh. Well, okay then.

    Baylee's been gone for 5 weeks and Morgan still asks for him at least twice a week. Last night, as I was putting her to bed, she told me she missed him so much and wants to hug and kiss him. Broke my heart.

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