Sunday, November 23

I Have a Photo of the Smelly One, but I'm Not Showing It

I've been trying all day to figure out a way to say this without it sounding mean or a little judgey, but I got nothing. So, I'll just say it: the parents at Saturday morning gymnastics are a collective hot mess. Each on their own are probably just fine, but put them together? HOT MESS.

Alexis and I wound up at the Saturday morning class because we'll be in Indianapolis by the time her usual class comes around this week, and I'm not about to skip out on that which costs a small fortune. So, a makeup class on Saturday made sense. Since me and mornings aren't really on speaking terms, Alexis and I rolled in at 9:03. I felt a little guilty being three minutes late, but getting showered, dressed, and ready for the day on a Saturday is just plain harder for me than doing the same on a Tuesday.

I am not alone.

Parents were still rolling in for that class at 9:30--after having already missed over half of the festivities.

Even more eye opening for me was the realization that those of us where were showered and fully dressed for the day were vastly outnumbered by those who had rolled out of bed and headed straight to the class. I can't even tell you how many parents had obviously skipped the shower, comb, etc. that morning and opted for the Natural Look. It was A LOT.

Then there was the way the Saturday Parents just sort of sat around. It was . . . weird. In our normal class the parents are forever alongside their kids, encouraging them, cheering them on, and basically doing the whole parent/child participation thing. The Saturday Parents were more into finding a place to sit and hide and hoping their kids didn't so much as glance at them.

For example, one of the things that we usually do in a class is to a parent/child flip thingy. I'm sure it has some sort of overly cute name, but I don't pay enough attention to know that that is. It involves the parent laying on the floor with his or her knees bent at a 90 degree angle. The kid sits on your feet, facing away from you, then you pick the kid up by straightening your legs out and raising them in the air. Halfway up, you grab the kid around the waist and flip him or her over your own head. Alexis happens to love whatever that thing is called, so I oblige and fully participate, despite the fact that I don't particularly like having my ass sticking up in the air while I look like an idiot. I figure that everybody else is doing it as well, and I probably don't look like the biggest idiot in the class. Except, of course, when in a room surrounded by Saturday Parents. Saturday Parents all sit around, refusing to do it, and telling their kid to go wait a turn and let the class instructor flip them over. Seriously, there was one dad and me doing it out of a room full of people.

I have all kinds of theories as to why it might be that the Saturday Parents are such a hot mess compared to the Weekday Evening Parents, but it doesn't really matter. After all, I just signed Alexis up for classes for next session, and we'll be popping in on Saturday mornings all the time. I too get to be an unshowered, crazy-haired, non-participating hot mess. I'm looking forward to it.

I might even arrange it so that Alexis and I show up in our matching pink elephant pajamas.

41 comments:

  1. Oh God I hope they brushed their teeth. Cause a room full of fussy teethed (toothed) morning breath people would totally send me round the bend...

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  2. Oh dear. At Kindermusik class (in Fox Chapel), I fear they were all thinking I was the HOT MESS. I mean, I showered, but I wasn't wearing designer shoes and matching handbag.

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  3. Oh, and that picture, and pajamas? Precious.

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  4. Embrace your dark side. The hot mess is the new black.

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  5. I'm happy to hear you were one of the parental flippers. All those posers out there telling their kids to "wait for the instructor" are going to wake up in a few years and wonder where the years went.

    I say if you're going to be a parent, you gotta do the flips. It's just that simple

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  6. I agree with Kelley - gotta at least brush their teeth or I'm OUTTA THERE! I hate morning breath...

    Good for you for not sitting on the sidelines. Never take the easy way out where your kid is involved.

    Peace - D

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  7. This is EXACTLY why we do Horseback riding lessons instead of dance/gymnastics. It's the kids, the teacher, maybe her husband (cleaning the barns and doing maintenance) and ME. No other parents!

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  8. At that point, they're just paying for a babysitter...seams like a waste!

    We'll be out of town from Thurs morning to Sat night, but if you're still around beyond that, we should get together!

    Evan would love to meet Alexis!

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  9. Best. Picture. Ever.

    I bet a lot of Saturday morning parents are grumbling about that hot woman actually participating with her daughter and making them look bad. Next week they'll all comb their hair to try to impress you.

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  10. I say it's better to be a hot mama than a hot mess. I totally agree with the teeth brushing comment. I do hope that was happening.

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  11. Well, at least they got their kids there (and yes, hopefully with clean teeth). Now, I have threatened my kids that when they're not behaving, one of their punishments is that I drive them to school in my robe and glasses and embarrass the cr@p out of them. So far I haven't had to actually do it. But I'm willing.

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  12. That picture is priceless!

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  13. I just LOVE matching jammies! And I just HATE hands-off parents. I am a down-on-my-hands-and-knees-playing-dump-trucks-and-dinosaurs kinda mama. And I do that flip thing on a regular basis with all three of mine. And we don't even take gymnastics (because we live in the sticks). Who wants to look back and wonder where the heck the little babies went? Be the parent, but play with your kids for crying out loud!

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  14. I'll spare you the loooooong backstory of WHY I need to know and skip right to "PLEASE PLEASE tell me where to get pink elephant jammies?"

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  15. Thank god you showered before sticking your butt up in the air. Be thankful the others did not.

    (BTW, I now arrive 3 minutes late for every child activity -- especially on Saturdays. It makes me feel guilty, but what can you do? You know, except leave earlier, but who has time for that?!)

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  16. The matching pj's are just too much. I am now on cute overload.

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  17. Okay, I just felt a tug at my ovaries when I saw that jammie picture. How cute are you two????

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  18. I. Want. Those. Jammies.

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  19. Oh I love the matchings PJ's!!! :)

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  20. I love the matching elephant pjs. Where oh where did you get them?


    And really if you are going to sign your kid up for classes, at least be a part of it. Otherwise you miss out on the fun. Bad. bad. bad Saturday morning parents.

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  21. Wow. I can't believe they wouldn't participate. That's terrible!

    I LOVE the matching jammies! Visions of Drunk Dumbo's pink elephants rolling through my head! ;-)

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  22. Y'all, the PJs are from Target and we just got them yesterday. There are three or four different Nick and Nora flannel PJs that are in both the Womens and the Kids Departments.

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  23. LOVE the matching p.j.'s!!!

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  24. Love the elephant jammies. Can I come to gymnastics, flipping backward over someones head sounds like loads of fun.

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  25. Great PJs! Sounds like the ideal Saturday morning class to me. HAve fun. :)

    I wanna see Alexis that cute dress, you know. :)

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  26. The matching pjs rock.

    And those parents need to get their act together. Why pay out the wazoo if you aren't going to participate? Oh, you want to be one of them, nevermind... ; )

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  27. You two are ridiculously cute in your matching jammies.

    So why didn't you just roll out and wear those for gymnastics? At least your ass would be cute for those whose faces it would happen to be in.

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  28. you two are so freakin' cute. i can barely type from the cuteness.

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  29. The matching PJ's are amazing! LOVE 'EM!

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  30. TOTALLY gratuitous photo of the hawt pajamas. Totally cute, though. Though, I admit, I participate in shameless mockery of people whose clothes match their kids (or mom and dad matching ensembles). *shudder*

    Anyway - I go to Friday ass-crack of dawn Mommy & Me and it's about half-and-half hawt mess and hawt.

    Maybe there are just more slackers Down South.

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  31. @trannyhead--I totally mock those who match their kids, too. My mockery absolutely extends to myself, but my excuse is that it was Alexis' idea. It's hard to say no to her when she's in a persuasive sort of mood.

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  32. I'm not a fan of the roll out of bed look. I think I've only done it once in the last year, that being the day Breaking Dawn came out. But, good GOD! How overly adorable is that picture. The fabu ladies donning pink elephants on parade? Call Walt. You need a close up.

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  33. See, now I'm not a Tuesday night parent, but not a Saturday morning parent, either. I'm more like a Friday evening type parent - I'd brush hair and teeth and put on jeans and a bra, but that'd be it. And I'd do the flip thingie, but otherwise find a way to sit on the bench as much as possible with my vanilla latte.

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  34. OK. First? I've got to call out AFF. She totally did the just rolled out of bed look the last time she had lunch with me. She warned me that she'd be unshowered and in her work out clothes. Maybe that just HAPPENED to be her one time last year?

    I do believe she brushed her teeth though.

    Second, when LM and I did gymnastics at 9 a.m. on Saturdays, I was the unshowered mom with her hair in a ponytail. I always did brush my teeth though and I was overly involved mom who flipped her child not once, but multiple times. The sad thing is that I totally forgot about the Whoopdedo (or however you spell that) until you wrote that. Little Man used to love it. As soon as I wake him up from his nap, I'm totally trying it again.

    Call the paramedics now, since he's 10 pounds heavier than in his gymnastics days and I'm 5 weeks post C-section.

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  35. Hmm.

    I'm thinking they are all full time working parents with multiple children.

    You'll get burnt out one day too.

    Support them the best you can, you may/will be like them one day.

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  36. Outside, soccer, 8:30am game: same Saturday hot mess.

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  37. Maybe unshowered and uncombed but no sweatpants or other jammie type clothing. Ever.

    If I have bad bed head I just throw on a fashionable funky fuzzy hat.

    Kudos to you for being hawt and not a hawt mess!

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  38. Where did you get matching PJs???????

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  39. I love the matching pj's!

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  40. @Leanne--Notsomuch. These were mostly one kid peeps, and I do know that for a fact. Besides, I sincerely hope that someday when we have more than just Alexis, I don't sit on the sidelines while my youngest tries to have fun at a class that I paid a lot of money for (and which is clearly titled a parent participation class).

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