Tuesday, November 4

I Rocked The Boat

Today started in a flurry. Our polling place is between our house and daycare, and I very much so wanted to vote on my way into work. So Alexis and I rushed through our morning routine so that we could leave extra early. However, after twenty minutes of standing perfectly still in line at the polling place, I decided to bail. I figured that given the proximity of the place, it would be no problem to get back there later in the day, and there probably wouldn't be a wait.

I was right on that account. After work, I pulled into a nearly empty parking lot with Alexis in tow. I hauled her butt up into my arms so we could rush through the poorly maintained parking lot, working hard to keep her from flailing with one arm while the other tried to dodge toddler kicks and shove my keys in my pocket. We needed to hurry if we wanted to make it to gymnastics on time, so I was happy to see that there was no line outside the building. As we neared the door, a woman stood from her orange plastic chair. I assumed she was a kind soul and was either going to assist me in getting to the correct line, or was going to be super-polite and open the door.

I was wrong. Instead, she reached down and grabbed a stack of brochures, flyers, and other assorted versions of dead trees. She tried to thrust them into my already occupied hands as she "recommended" that I vote for her candidate of choice (it's irrelevant which candidate that happened to be). Without any hands available to grab her pointless literature, I simply said, "No, thank you" and tried to walk around her to get to the door.

She slid over. She blocked the door. She then set into a lecture about how I really need to vote for the, "right candidate. The only man who will protect woman and children."

A string of perfectly justifiable obscenities floated on the tip of my tongue, but the lack of earmuffs for little ears meant those words really couldn't take flight. Instead, I muttered, "Excuse me, I'd like to vote now."

The little ears were in fact paying attention because Alexis chimed in, "I want to go to boat, too!"

I hesitated. Normally I would repeat the word the correct way, but frankly the vote/boat confusion sort of amused me. So instead I asked Alexis, "Would you like a red boat or a blue boat? Totally your choice tonight."

It sure was fun watching the rude, overbearing roadblock process the question, Alexis' response, and then seeing her head explode when I agreed to vote for the Toddler's boat.

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Note to Alexis: At the precise moment that the National news was officially declaring that we had elected our first African American President, you were wide awake. You were standing in your room, screaming at the top of your lungs. I'm betting you weren't the only American to poop their pants after hearing the news. ;-)


39 comments:

  1. Ugh...I have heard so many stories this year about over-aggressive polling place propaganda passers that it makes me glad I voted absentee ballot! 'Course those never even get counted but whatev', not like I like in a swing state or anything!

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  2. I thought that was illegal within 100 feet of a polling place or something.
    What a b*tch.

    Rock the Boat!!

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  3. You know I'm all pro-life, but even I hate to be hassled at the polling place. It's just wrong, and she took it one step too far.

    So what if Alexis had chosen a red boat?

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  4. Awesome! You handled that better than I would have!

    I'm sure that woman pooped her pants last night, too. Hahaha....

    Peace - D

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  5. Rocking the BOAT is fine...let's just hope we don't tip the BOAT over!

    Hallie

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  6. Ya know, I was actually kinda disappointed that no one pestered me when I went to vote. Shocked, really. And while I'm not surprised by the outcome, I'm in agreement that plenty of people did, indeed, poo!

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  7. I love it--rock the boat! Well I'm glad you made it in! We had tons of fun at our place--very friendly people and such-very happy day I guess (remember I'm just outside of Chicago) Anyway, I loved the free Starbucks for throwing in my two cents. Fun!
    I'm going to copy that last bit you wrote and write a little note to Sophie too! Great idea.

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  8. Does Alexis' Boat Party include naps? Because I would totally vote for that.
    Sorry you were accosted at the polls. How very weird.

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  9. I was only accosted with a long line and people telling bad jokes... bummer. The only thing I really didn't like about the wait was not being able to concentrate on the book I was reading, "John Adams," a way better choice. To bad he wasn't runniing. :)

    Have a great day!

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  10. Sounds like you handled that beautifully. I can't say I would have been as nice.

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  11. At least the Black Panthers weren't standing outside the doors! YIKES!

    I wouldn't have minded voting for a boat, by the way!

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  12. It's interesting that y'all are thinking she was a McCain supporter, because she wasn't. Not that it matters, overzealous is overzealous.

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  13. Okay, this is the only political post I've read that hasn't only NOT annoyed me...but actually made me LAUGH!!

    Your little sidenote to Alexis took the cake!! Thank you for making me laugh after such a horrendously annoying, sickeningly disgustingly ugly election year. You rock MY BOAT!!

    (P.S. I am lucky to live in a place that, despite being the county seat is VERY small and had no propoganda peoples handing out brochures, just a clear way - and a little line - to the voting desks)

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  14. That should never be allowed. It's shameful.

    CUTE pictures!!

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  15. Nay Nay11:16 AM

    LOL!! My husband had so much fun with the people that would call soliciting votes. He would say stuff like " I don't know who I'm voting for , who's running?" If they were an Obama supporter he would say " McCain is a war hero and Obama is a muslim" and if they were a McCain supporter he would say "I'm anti-Irish, always have been , always will be"
    Had to have fun with it

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  16. And this, this is why I LOVE you and that kid of yours!! A political post that made me LAUGH...amazing!!

    Sorry you got violated by the creepy lady. Ew.

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  17. naaaaaaahhhhh.

    no harm done.

    women who keep their mouthes shut never change the world;-)

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  18. WOW! What a wingnut she was! Love the pictures!

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  19. I agree with beach mama, it's illegal to do that crap within 100 feet of the door to the polling place.

    I am so glad I did not run into any of that when I went to vote. Maybe it's because I voted early, I don't know.

    My mind is made up by the time I get there to vote, you shoving your stupid flyers and opinions in my face will not change that.

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  20. I've heard quite a few stories like that, both sides of the aisle. How on earth did people get away with that this election?

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  21. I thought it was illegal to do that.

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  22. Really? Only ONE of the candidates would protect women & children??? REALLLLLLY?

    "Move, or I'll kick you, and she'll spit on you when you're down."
    I don't know how you refrained...

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  23. Rock the Boat Alexis, Rock the Boat.

    I love that kid and you. you. freaking. rock.

    Obnoxious pushy woman. Hope her head didn't make a mess when it exploded ;-)

    love those pictures!!!

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  24. @lainey-painey: Exactly. It's like she was saying the other candidate wants to lock all the women and children in a basement with rabid dingos. Gah!

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  25. Good for you!! What she did is terrible and I thought illegal?! Where were the polling monitors on that one?

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  26. We'd have shot her in Texas but that's just how we roll ;)

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  27. I can't confirm for sure, but I think Pennsylvania prohibits campaigning within 10-feet of the entrance to a polling place. Other states are much further (CA is 100 feet, for example). So, yeah, she was breaking the law. However, the police department is ten feet from where she was standing. They obviously aren't enforcing the law (if it exists).

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  28. I am absolutely certain that all my kin folks back in Georgia are still pooping in their pants. None of them have called me, but I know if they did it would not be a pleasant conversation. I am very happy with the election results, by the way.

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  29. What a "B!" Glad you were still able to do your civic doodie, er, I mean duty! : )

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  30. we have vote by mail here baby! I was sad my kids were asleep when the announcement was made as I wanted to invite them in for the celebration

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  31. Is that legal? Not that it matters, but it IS kinda scary. I stayed up to hear the final tally here too, barely - it was late!

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  32. I bet you're sorry to see the campaign over now, considering how nice that lady was to, eh-hem, encourage you to vote for her candidate.

    Oh, yes I bet you are sorry, but finally we can enjoy the boat ride. Yes we can! :)

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  33. The last line? Classic.

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  34. That is too funny that you said you'd go with whatever color boat Alexis picked! So funny! I'll bet that threw her for a loop!

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  35. I cannot believe people are getting away with being so rude! That seems like harassment to me. Good for you letting the toddler pick!

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  36. Isn't that totally illegl? When I scrutineered for my party I wasn't even allowed to wear their party colours. Although the Conservative guy? He was head to toe in blue, which is their colour.

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  37. So - that sounds really illegal.

    Anyway - in related news, Granilla got a phone call today from some right wing whack job who was calling her from a "Bible college" to offer "support for a neighbor who may be struggling with the direction our country has taken." WTF? I was insulted and disgusted.

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  38. I'm so glad that people are not allowed to campaign on the polling grounds here.

    Good going with the boat thing. Wish you'd had a chance to get a picture of the lady's exploding head! LOL!

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  39. to my knowledge that's completely illegal! Don't you have to be so may yards from the polling area to pass out literature or even hold a sign or anythign to do with a candidate?? SHEESH.

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