Thursday, December 4

Some Prisoners Are Kind Enough to Give Me Space

Cody hates me. OK, so maybe "hate" is a bit strong, but he definitely doesn't worship and adore me. Which is weird. Very weird.

Every animal Mr. Husband and I have ever had has been all about me. At any point in time, you will find at least two of the little jerks piled on top of me, and it's usually whichever two I like least at that particular moment.

There's Coal, the tiny little sweetheart of a cat who won't. stop. purring. He has the undying need to sit purring in my ear until my head explodes because OMG do I hate things breathing by my ears, especially if that breathing is accompanied by loud noises and tickly whiskers.

There's the beastly white cat who will occasionally pander to Mr. Husband, but then stalks me all over the house, meowing and whining for me to do something for him. I don't know what exactly it is that he wants since I haven't fed him in approximately NEVER EVER, I don't clean his litter box, and little dude is allergic to treats so hell-to-the-no am I giving him those. I really don't know what he's asking me to do. I guess he just wants to see how many persistent meows it takes until my head explodes.

And then we have Meg. I love Meg, I really do, but I don't generally like her. She stinks (literally), is LOUD, and has the amazing ability to shake her head at the exact moment I try to yawn, thereby launching a few megatons of Bulldog slobber into my mouth and the surrounding areas. If you don't believe me, you ought to see my laptop screen--it is covered in little droplets of Bully slobber and snot. It's so covered, in fact, that it's like one big layer of goop has been used to coat my screen to protect it from, well, more goop, I guess. Definitely cause for a head explosion or two.

But Cody? Cody doesn't sit on me. He doesn't appreciate me. He totally ditches me the second Mr. Husband comes on the scene. The ironic thing about it is that I actually DO things for Cody. Every single day I come home at lunch to let his little puppy butt out to go potty. I could be running errands, or doing something crazy like eating lunch, but no, I run home so I can take a dog out to take a crap. Except, he never takes a crap outside. Ever. I let him out of his giant kennel, we go outside, he runs around like an idiot, and I finally give up and go back inside after about 30 minutes of shivering and wishing he would pop a squat already. Every day he thanks me for that by walking in the front door of our house and promptly popping a squat. In the house. Every day.

Jerkface dog.

But, damn he's cute.

34 comments:

  1. Just like kids - the cuteness factor wins out over the annoying factor!

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  2. So cute so cute so cute so cute!

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  3. Good lands is that dog growing! Wow.

    Remind me again why we have dogs? Seriously.

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  4. Dogs are like men maybe? Ignore them and they're all over yu...act like you care and they pretend you don't exist.

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  5. I'll send you an angry wiener if you truly want to experience a dog that has issues. Cody is like a breath of fresh air. Chauncey bites. Whenever he feels the urge. I'd take SQUAT POPPING IN THE HOUSE over EATING OUR GUESTS anyday!!

    Hallie

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  6. I covet your dog but not the poop. I keep telling the hus that we should start thinking about getting a dog for the boys but then I read posts like this! ; )

    You made me laugh about the one cat that follows you around all day...

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  7. Well you know Cats think that humans are their servants. My cat will paw at my face in the middle of the night because my hands are uncovered, and if they out in the open and not doing anything why are they not petting her? Right fun times.
    I have Boxer slobber all over my house, so I understand the goop, maybe not as much as yours, but boy do I understand.

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  8. I'm thinkin that whole space heater thing may have something to do with it.

    Just sayin. :)

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  9. He is so darn cute. It's a good thing for him too. Squattin on the floor everyday is grounds for some major discipline LOL. Does he do that to the husband too?

    I bet the toddler just loves him.

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  10. It would drive me crazy if something that cute lived in my home and didn't love me best.

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  11. AHHHHH! That dog is SO CUTE!!!
    Animals ALWAYS come by me when I DON'T want them to. Like my brother's cat. I'm allergic to cats and the thing is always jumping on my lap and running her face on mine when I am there. Stinker.

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  12. @LilacSpecs--I SWEAR that is what it is! I pay ZERO attention to Meg and can't get rid of her. I acknowledge Cody's existence and he's all "Pshaw. I have the tall male-type figure to worship."

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  13. he really is cute...

    we bought a dog, for me, back in 2002... in fact, in an effort to insure she'd be mine (not really his motive, sadly) my husband was really, really mean to her for the first year and a half of her life.

    Guess who she loves and adores implicitly. Yep. Him.

    I bought a puppy when my husband was still in Mi, trying to find a job here. She didn't even meet the hubby until she was several months old. Now that he's been here 10 months, she's finally gotten to where she'll tolerate him- but she makes it CLEAR she is my dog.

    So that's key. Send hubby away for 7 months, buy dog...

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  14. My husband is always the favorite so I'm secretly hoping our new puppy will love me more

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  15. He is freakin' cute! I could just scruff him up! lol But, hey, Hubby did save him from the pond! Guess they bonded! lol

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  16. I totally agree with LilacSpecs. Unless you have a beagle. She is a sucker for everyone and will not leave anyone alone. But at least she goes potty outside (house training was very difficult for her).

    Cody is really adorable!

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  17. Sometimes cuteness is all it takes.

    but still I have no pets. Cuz I get the "hates me" thing.

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  18. Funny how you wanted that dog so much, isn't it? And, Lanna's the first Cairn we've had who hasn't adored me, so I get it. Hubby, who didn't want her, hated the breed, thinks they are ugly...etc., yeah, she worships him. Oh, and see. I comment.

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  19. i think cody is slightly related to the rat dogs.

    bah humbug

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  20. Ours generally ditch me for my teenager, who I will go to my grave swearing can actually talk to the silly animals! Seriously, every.SINGLE.animal we ever come into contact with falls instantly in complete and total love with him, and quietly and quickly submits. It's pathetic.

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  21. The cat we used to have, Newman, I couldn't stand. It followed me everywhere. Jim, who loved him, he ignored. I really don't know how you remain sane. You are still sane, right?

    Speaking of insanity, how are the Christmas lights coming?

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  22. Haha! He really is cute...he's lucky he's so cute, being a jerk like that and all ;)

    I seriously want one. Now to convince Zach...

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  23. What a little turd!
    He is really cute though!

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  24. Would you just look at him!!

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  25. Haha. Too funny! I have a little dog that I bought for my daughter, and I'm trying to decide whether to get rid of her or not (the dog, not the kid). I can't get her potty trained. It's making me so mad! But she's cute. And my two year old loves her...

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  26. Cute is an understatement, he is adorable! Hey, we all have favorites. You have enough fans – one more, one less... ;-)

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  27. He *IS* very very cute....

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  28. He is a furry bundle of extreme cuteness! :-)

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  29. He will probably come around. My dog far prefered my husband when she was younger. Now she won't be in a room different from where I am. She says she is my dog.

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  30. I'll still take Meg. Meg is hawt.

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  31. Dear Lord do I remember the Bully stench and the slobber and the noises. I loved that dog, but holy crap was he annoying!!

    My Lab was an awesome dog in every sense of the word. Which just makes me miss him even more.

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