Wednesday, February 4

Think, Think, Think

Sometimes I know that a toy is a terrible, no good, horrible idea just by glancing at it. When that happens, it stays in the store. Alexis can whine, scream, cry, beg, plead, and make all the promises she wants because I value that tiny remaining shred of sanity that I have. The toy does not enter our house. Period.

The singing Darby doll was one of those toys. Alexis first spotted it in a Disney Store months ago, and she wanted it BAAAAD. But, at $40? It was very easy to say no. She saw it again at Meijer (in Indiana) and once again, I shot her down. Then she found it in KMart. I stood my ground.

Then she got a bunch of money for her birthday. And spotted it on clearance at Wal-Mart. For $17.

The portion of my brain that HAS to capitalize on a good deal and the portion of my brain that tries to keep the whole show sane got in a fight. A BIG fight.

Sanity lost.

So, Miss Alexis handed over her very own cash to a grouchy cashier at Wal-Mart. Mr. Husband thought that it would be one of those toys that would be fun for a day or two, but then would be relegated to a back corner of a toybox. I wish he had been right.

Alas, Darby is a daily play toy and has been for a couple of weeks. Darby, whose very existence boggles my mind (Seriously--wth? Wasn't Christopher Robin enough human for Pooh?), is in our house, singing and dancing every. single. day.

She only knows one song. And two phrases. On a constant loop. Over and over and over.

"Slap my cap." What the hell is that supposed to mean anyway?

And "Think, think, think." If Darby doesn't quit with the thinking, she's going to take a swim in the garbage disposal.

Darby was in my car last Friday when it got broken into. The buttface that stole my laptop tossed her out of the way.

I think I hate him more for NOT stealing Darby than I do for breaking into my car in the first place.

Think, think, think.


  1. my ex bought my kid a barbie doll that sang this song that made me want to pull my hair out. Every time she would bring it here I would remind her when she left, "don't forget your dollie!"

  2. So far Ive been lucky no nerve shattering toys have crossed this threshold. I also just remind people that if you buy my kids obnoxious toys I will reciprocate only worse. They know I make good on my promises. I have on occasion had to hide a toy or get rid of toys that were busted but still very much loved it took creativity but they managed to find and love thier new home in the bottom of my outside trash can.

  3. "Wasn't Christopher Robin enough human for Pooh?"

    Nope. Not in this age of rampaging political correctness. I mean, how dare Milne not write a female friend for Pooh?


  4. Ok ... so ... back in the day when people actually listened to CDs in their car instead of their ipods, I had my car broken into while I was at a party at a friend's house. It was during a thunderstorm and was a total "smash and grab" type theft. What was awesome was that they thought they were getting away with a big ole CD case ... in reality? They stole my car's owner's manual. BWAHAHAHAHA. I could totally picture them running like 2 blocks, examining their loot, and then discovering they could now find out how to operate cruise control. The best part was that there WAS a whole case of CDs hidden under the back seat that they didn't find. Idiots.

    I think the same people that broke into my car broke into yours.

  5. You could have tossed that doll in the garbage the night of the break-in and *told* Alexis that the doll was stolen. But you didn't. Why? Because you're a good mom, that's why.

    Am I the only one who thinks "Slap my cap" sounds kind of obscene? Every time I hear Darby say it, I mutter (low enough so the kids can't hear), "Keep doing that, Darb, and you're going to go blind."

  6. Good News! Disney is doing away with the "My Friends Tigger and Pooh" show! Not so good when it's the only time of day you get 23 minutes of uninterrupted time, but good for you!

  7. Yeah that sucks that he left Darby, you should've just told the kiddo that it got stolen...LOL

  8. Anonymous11:14 AM

    I have finally (finally!) learned to let the sanity side of my brain win out. The good news is that it only took 4 kids for me to learn. You're smarter than I, so I'm sure you'll get that down pat in no time.

    And for the love of Pete - my MIL's computer won't let me log in. Where's that Plurk emoticon with the bad word bubble box?


  9. Oh I have given away to sanity way too many times and either bought my girls annoyingly loud toys, or let other people get them for them. My favorite is when they go off all by themselves when no one is in the room. Kinda creeps me out a little.

  10. So does this mean that Darby is worse than Dora??

  11. @Valarie Lea--Yeah, I think Darby might be worse than Dora. Hard to imagine, I know.

  12. nonono Darby isn't even close to being worse than Dora--barely any press and her show is easily concealable--
    have no fear-she WILL get sick of Darby. or she will drop Darby and Darby will break.
    I know Sophies' did and we were heartbroken.

    you totally deserve a new laptop.

  13. Me no likey Darby, and I don't even have the freaking doll. I'm with you on the whole replacing Christopher Robin with Darby thing. Thankfully that show has been canceled. Unfortunately, it can run in repeats FOREVER, because the three year old brains don't realize it's not a new episode until their parent's heads explode.

    Think. Think. Think. Indeed.

  14. We have quite a few of those toys around here that we wish our kids never had, lol. Usually it is a well-meaning grandma or relative that brings them, which makes it even harder!

  15. I'm pretty sure I just hurt myself laughing at the last comment.

  16. The worst kind of toy, IMHO, makes an irritating noise, no off switch, and no way to remove the batteries. We received a giggling stuffed bunny that will never see the light of day because it's one of those.

  17. I don't think anyone has mentioned this, but Darby? Looks like a female version of that scary Chucky doll from the 80's movies. I would have thought that you of all people would have noticed. ;)

  18. What's up with her hair? Oh, and you've got the song stuck in my head & now I'm going to have to play Russian Routlette. Thanks for that. I'm glad I'm not the only purist who is offended that CR got the axe in favor of a little girl with dog. The Milne family is no doubt appalled.

  19. @Jennifer--Oh, I noticed. She's a creepy little freak of a doll.

  20. HA. My son had a Ghost Buster big wheel when he was little. I hated that damn thing. It was so loud.He ran that thing to the ground.
    I purposly left it out at night. Once someone finally stole it. Do you know that a neighbor saw it 10 blocks away and BROUGHT IT BACK TO ME. I was ready to kill her. No, she couldn't have found my porch furniture now, could she.

  21. Anonymous10:08 AM

    I have never seen Darby... sounds like I should be glad. Will try to keep it that way!

  22. My daughter already goes around saying Think Think Think enough as it is. Nothing like a talking doll to add to the madness. lol!

  23. It is days like this I am glad I have a boy. Wait...I have a choo-choo train (yes, I did just write that, why?) that goes "choo-choo...chug-chug-chug-chug" over and over and over. My sister-in-law gave it to our son for Christmas and when he opened it she cackled.

    Let's see who is cackling in March when her daughter turns 3 and we get guessed it Darby. :-) Thanks for the idea. It will be worth $40 just to bug her as much as she has bugged us. Oh yeah!