Tuesday, March 10

Asking for Trouble

Every time we fly, I expect the worse. I guess it's all those years that I was a consultant and spent 10-15 hours per week on a plane. I saw, heard, felt, and wanted to murder more than my fair share of kids who thought that the best time to be the ringleader of a three ring circus was while trapped inside a tiny cabin with 50+ other passengers. Kids + me + airplanes = homicidal tendencies.

We have flown with Alexis a handful of times and each time has been the same; strangely OK. I over-prepare with bags full of snacks and toys and movies and coloring books and hammers (in case the toys and snacks don't work, I could just bonk the kid over the head and knock her out for a bit). I stress for weeks before a flight about how the heck I'm going to keep her happy in that tiny little space. I fidget once we are on the plane, and get myself all sorts of worked up worrying that Alexis is going to suddenly turn into Linda Blair.

Then she goes and disappoints me. This time she did it by peacefully watching Linkin Park in concert on one iPod while listening to Imagination Movers on another (don't get me started on why I have two iPods--it makes me head explode to think about it). Then I had to try to sabotage world peace because after 20 minutes of the kid watching Chester drop the f*bomb, I started to wonder if she could read lips (after all, what 3-year old can't?). So I ixnayed the Linkin Park and whipped out her portable DVD player, turned off the iPod, and didn't even give her a choice in which movie she wanted to watch. ASKING FOR TROUBLE.

She responded by gleefully watching Enchanted and not even caring that it's wasn't the crappy Disney Princess movie she picked out the day before "for watching on the airplane."

Of course I couldn't just let the kid just be happy, so I whipped out a coloring book and crayons. Alexis responded by coloring the love-child created when Cookie Monster and Zoe had an affair. Alexis named her "Anna." I may have been mostly responsible for the story of how she came to be.



Since none of that worked to convince the kid she should turn into a Tasmanian Devil on the airplane, I figured I would just go and write about it while we are still a 2-hour plane ride away from home.

Why not just write Karma a personal note asking for trouble?

I have to be out of my mind.

19 comments:

  1. awww, is she scared of pluto???

    you were a very lucky mommy on that plane, you know.....

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  2. @Janet--She's scared of anyone in a furry suit, but she forgets that minor detail right up until she's two feet away from them.

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  3. Alexis is a far better air traveler than I am. You're a lucky (and well-prepared) lady!

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  4. Uh oh. You are in the land of people in suits. This could make the House of Mouse very interesting. Have a great trip.

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  5. Those are the BEST surprises, aren't they? Expecting the worst and finding the best. So good. :)

    Have a great time!

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  6. That picture is adorable.

    I love it when I get surprised by good/above & beyond behavior. It always makes me proud, as though I have something to do with it rather than it being a perfect alignment of stars. :)

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  7. Geez, I hope you can get her a little closer to Mickey!
    She's a good kid. Haven't you figured that out yet?

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  8. We've only flow twice with our two girls, once when they were 3 and 1 and surprisingly they did just great! Those pictures are priceless, especially the one with Pluto. I remember my girls reacting about the same way at the same age to any of those characters. Have a great trip! Can't wait to see the pictures and hear about all of the adventures!

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  9. You used 2 ipods and a portable DVD player. How in the world did kids ever travel on planes in the old days.

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  10. LOL She was going to Disney! You could have probably shoved used toothpicks under her fingernails and she'd have sung "It's a Small World". :D

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  11. I worried about a bad flight when I took my son to FL, but he was pretty good! He was just under two, so he clung to me the whole time and was relatively quiet!

    Of course, he refused to eat anything but bananas and cheerios the entire time we were on vacation!

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  12. A's face is reminiscent of Little Man's when we took him to Sesame Place.

    I had no idea underpaid teenagers in heavy costumes were so terrifying until I had a child.

    And glad she's such a good traveler. She needs to be for her long-distance relationship with Little Man to work out.

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  13. I love the photo of Alexis' chubby little arm and hand.

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  14. She probably behaved better than I did on the plane this weekend...and she's not a bad colorer either!!

    And that picture of her cute little chubby hand...perfection!!!

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  15. So glad your Alexis didn't send anyone to "homicidal tendencies." ; )

    Hope you all had a great time!

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  16. Love the pic with Goofy :)

    Glad the plane ride went well!

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  17. @Otter Thomas--I have NO idea what kids did before the joys of electronic distractions. More importantly, I have NO idea what parents did before the joys of electronic distractions. Go insane?

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  18. I remember going, one our trips, and Katie was afraid of everything in a costume, so we couldn't get a picture of her anywhere near any of them, until she was asleep in her stroller.

    Too cute, and still jealous!

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  19. We took Courtney on a plane once and we haven't since then for obvious reasons. Maybe she's be better now but not in the mood for screaming child.

    Bless her heart. That picture is a classic!

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