Monday, May 18

Finding Fear

Alexis has been getting the shaft lately. We've been crazy busy trying to get the house all cleaned and purdied up, so she's been left to fend for herself more often than not. After two solid days of happily self-entertaining, we figured we owed her for her most excellent behavior. Yesterday we contrived a trip to the mall so that she could play at the little playground area for a few minutes (it's too muddy to play outside). We needed to run a few errands out that way, so it was a perfect combo trip.

As we drove towards the mall, we noticed a little something something in the parking lot. It seemed that a miniature carnival had been set up, and of course Alexis was quick to ask to go see what was going on. We gave it a gander, and at $1 per ride, we figured it was no big thing to let the kid pick a few things to make herself happy. She thought it was the greatest idea ever, and it got us out of having to deal with the annoying people who let their kids play at the mall playground. *ahem*

Anyway, I don't really know how it happened, but the kid has turned into a major adrenaline junky. While last year she cried like a whiney little baby when we stuck her on a ride at Kennywood, this year she is all MORE! HIGHER! FASTER! BIGGER! No problem. I too like to scream MORE! HIGHER! FASTER! BIGGER! as well. I don't do spinny stuff, but I will happily climb really high and then fall from the sky at top speed.

In a moment that made my heart swell with pride, Alexis looked around and spotted the biggest of the big rides, the ferris wheel, and started begging to go on it. It was a dream come true. I had a valid excuse to go play on a big ride with my most favoritest short person. Weeeeeee!

As we waited in line, I started checking out the ride and the guy operating it. And thinking. And wondering. And when the hell did I grow up and start actually worrying about whether or not those kinds of rides are assembled correctly? And when did I start glaring at total strangers and wondering how I could interview them to make sure they were qualified to push that button? By the time it was our turn to get on the ferris wheel, I had myself all sorts of worked into a tizzy.

Of course, Alexis was oblivious. She was SO STOKED to get on that ride. Instantly she started chattering and giggling and laughing and squealing with glee, which just made me more nervous. As we rose higher and higher, I stared at bolts, scanning everywhere to see if any were loose. Why? I have no idea. It's not like I could use a 35-pound kid as a parachute when I jumped off the ride. We were stuck on the darn thing, and I was suddenly impersonating a scaredy cat.

I sat clutching the thin bar that was supposed to separate Alexis and I from death. Alexis threw her arms up in the air and yelled, "Weeeeeeeeeeee!" I pictured us falling to our deaths. Alexis started rocking the car and giggling, "This is SO fun!"

I swear the kid was trying to give me a heart attack.

It's not fair that having a kid makes you scared of the very things that you used to love the most.

26 comments:

  1. LOL! I love roller coasters, but I'm dreading taking my precious Howler on the Ravine Flyer (new to Waldameer at Presque Isle Erie PA last year.) She wasn't "taller and taller" enough to ride it last year...and I promised I wouldn't ride it until she was taller and taller enough. That'll be this year, no doubt, and I'll probably need a valium just to get through it because she'll be with me.

    The Howler doesn't do ferris wheels, either, no how no way, and that's fine, because they give me the willies.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LMAO that's fantastic! I do the same thing now! I grab onto the boys to keep them from sliding out and plunging to their death! I became a mom and became a worrier at the same freakin time. Glad it's not just me!

    ReplyDelete
  3. We took the kids to Kennywood last summer. The same Kennywood that I loved as a kid. This time all I could think about was whether the little chain on the turtles would keep my babies from being flung onto the tracks and crushed by the oversized amphibians. I also worry that they will somehow meld through the glass on the top floor of the mall and fall to their daeths. Or that they will.....Okay, I'm gonna stop now.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like the spinny rides. I used to do fine till I became a mom too. We rode a lift from one side of an amusement park to the other with my daughter and I felt like her wiggly little body was slipping off the seat and off to her death however many feet below, I don't know, I couldn't look. I just closed my eyes and held onto her for dear life the whole way across!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Haha, that is so true. My family is still teasing me for being terrified on one of the "roller coasters" at Idlewild. Apparently I yelled something like "HOLD ONTO RILEY" at her brother as the ride started (I don't remember, the whole thing is one terrifying blur). They seem to think that was totally unnecessary. It is amazing how much of a total wuss I have become about rides when I'm on them with my kids. And if my kids aren't there? I worry about orphaning them!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Welcome to the club!! It seems like it happens to the best of us. Those of us who LOVED these rides as kids, those of us who only wanted more, higher, faster, etc.... have now become freaky safety inspection moms who are now SURE that one bolt is going to go flying and we will plunge to our deaths. And the worst part is, you don't even know you changed into that until confronted for the first time, post-birth with an amusement park or carnival. So sad.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Life sucks, doesn't it? Having kids has increased my irrational fear of heights and also given me motion sickness. Stupid pregnancy hormones and their reluctance to leave my system. Amusement park rides are a thing of the past.

    And don't think I won't leave without commenting on this gem:

    I too like to scream MORE! HIGHER! FASTER! BIGGER!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm so surprised the "carny folk" that runthose traveling death traps don't instill an enormous sense of trust in you!!! :)

    I used to let my kiddos ride on all those things too....until we started getting a bunch of the employees as clients through my program. Then I changed my mind about their qualifications to keep my kids safe!

    Now we just avoid them all together and go to see the Mouse. After all, everyone that works for Mickey has to be a rocket scientist right? RIGHT????

    Hallie :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I wish my kids were a little MORE brave about rides and stuff - I am the resident adrenaline junky who rides the pitfall sixteen times all by myself since no one else will go. Even mr b, who blames his accident on the fear of falling, but he screamed like a girl even before then.

    Of course, carny rides scare me too since I once got stuck on one for an hour - upside down, no less.

    And you know I'm with you on the spinny stuff - the teacups = day ruined.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The last time I got scared to hell on a ride. My daughter was 4. She wanted this like you wouldn't believe. It was one of those things that went up into the air tilted sideways and upside down and came racing back down. Skye just made the cutoff the height.

    Once the ride started all of sudden she changed her mind and was convinced she was going to fall out. She screamed bloody murder, "I'm going to die, I'm going to die!"

    She clung on to me so hard I had welts and bruises when it was over. As the car we were in finally came to a stop, she brushed tears off her face and said that was fun. Meanwhile I almost had a heart attack and the guy behind me asked if she was ok. He however looked blanche and bugged eyed. MY daughter had scared the living bejesus out of him.

    Skye? Never met a ride that could scare her after that one. (Hugs)Indigo

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are so right - it isn't fair, and it's the weirdest thing.

    Before I had kids, I loves traveling by plane. I never worried that something might go wrong with the aircraft, or that a LOST-like scenario might manifest. Those ridiculous, crazy thoughts never passed my mind. They sure do now, though. I'm not paralyzed in fear by them, but they are there. Every time. I blame the airlines. If their seats were more comfortable and they played better movies I'd sleep and get lost in a movie and have less time in that 8-hour flight back and forth from home to think about the plane crashing.

    ReplyDelete
  12. It wasn't having a child that made me afraid of carnival rides it was the day my loser cousin started working for a traveling carnival...that was the end of my enjoying the ferris wheel...I can only imagine what new fears having a child will bring. Oiy!

    ReplyDelete
  13. So true! Sometimes, I really, really wish I could shut off the NOT SAFE alarm that goes off in my head, and focus on my kid saying, "This is FUN!!"

    ReplyDelete
  14. Great. Now I'm gonna freak out the next time we go to the fair! But I'll still eat the funnel cakes made by a stranger with no idea the last time they washed their hands. I'm not crazy! ; )

    ReplyDelete
  15. adorable... I rode those "assembled millions of times" rides as a kid and young adult. Something about parenting changes things though...

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love rollercoasters. but I've always been scared of that type of ferris wheel! I think because you're not really secured in too well. It seems like you could, all too easily, slip out from under the safety bar, and plunge to your untimely death!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Seriously! I don't understand how I can be all "Oh, I bet they're warm enough" instead of checking on the girls during the night, and then FREAK OUT because how is Gracie going to be able to find her way from the school bus to the classroom when she starts kindergarten in the fall. Whose idea was it to unleash 5-year-olds into the world?!

    ReplyDelete
  18. @Katie in MA--OMG! That's only 2 years away. GAAAAAH! Thanks for the panic attack.

    ReplyDelete
  19. When I read the title of the post, I thought it was going to be about Alexis being afraid of something. Too funny that it's about you finding your fear! Although I'm not sure "funny" is the right word, considering I have developed a very similar issue. What is up with becoming a parent and starting to actually think about how unsafe things are?

    ReplyDelete
  20. When I step into a carnival, my danger sensor just turns off. I love, love, love carnival rides and I know I probably should be more concerned, but I like to pretend my husband is just being a snob, because people need jobs, dude. Even carnies! FERRIS WHEEL! TILT O WHIRL! SWINGS! WOO HOO!

    ReplyDelete
  21. See, I was a scardey cat even before I had Jonathan. Now it is simply magnified. I would have been checking that ferris wheel all over too. And carnies? They've always scared me. Poor folks. They're probably fine, but somehow they always look bored and like they'd forget I'm up at the top of the ride, dying to get down!

    ReplyDelete
  22. OH, I hear ya.

    PERFECTLY.

    Lately I am feeling all sick and dizzy about going to Disney with my WildChild. She runs. She runs AWAY from me all of the time. She gets something in her brain and she RUNS AWAY from me to do it. I am constantly asking her to use her voice to TELL me what she is thinking before she acts, but so far no luck.

    She is as quick as lightening. I'm terrified.

    We have started Disney training, where they are not allowed to leave my side while in public.

    A police officer told the girlys that they should be no further than arms length from me while in a crowded place like Disney World.

    My oldest, no issues.

    That WildChild...I won't have a hair left in my head after Disney.

    ReplyDelete
  23. @Tornado--If it makes you feel any better, the BEST place to lose a kid (if you must) is Disney World. They rock at using cameras, security, and cast members to hunt down a wild kid. When I worked at Downtown Disney, we would lock the whole place down and search, and never once did we not find a kid in less than five minutes.

    BTW, it's a good idea to come up with a place that you will meet if you get separated. Like, when we went to the Magic Kingdom with lots of family a few years ago, we used the back entrance to Cinderella's castle. No matter who got split up, that was the place to go to get back together.

    ReplyDelete
  24. My sister, who is, what, fifty freaking seven years old and lives in Chicago, still makes the annual pilgrimage to Kennywood. And probably still rocks the ferris wheel car.

    You won't get me anywhere near the place. Her adrenaline needs scared bejezus out of me, scarring me for life.

    Also, if she's not already doing it, prepare for Alexis to start jumping in elevators.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Oh,I know your pain. And I start doing the math analyzing the forces and allowable stresses...

    ReplyDelete
  26. I left a long comment and it wouln't take it. I hope this one sticks!

    ReplyDelete