Wednesday, June 10

We Did It

She did it! She did it! She did it! I didn't think she would, but she did it!



Today was Alexis' little end of semester show at dance class. It's not the kind of thing where all the kids stand on stage and participate in a big production, but instead a lot more low key. It's just like a regular class, except that the parents and guests get to sit in chairs inside the room. No matter, the kid is not a fan of being watched by strangers, so I fully expected her to be all, "Oh, you're funny if you think I'm going in there with all those people." I predicted tears, clinginess, and general fear, but it was not delivered. She did it! Even all her solo dances!

Wooohooooo!

Even more impressive, I DID IT! I survived! I didn't stab anyone with a spork!

I've tried to just keep my general annoyance with some of the moms at dance class to myself, but OMG. I deserve a cookie for not punching a couple of them. Really. Let's just say that if any of the following things are true about you, you MAKE ME INSANE:

* If your kid is running around smashing toys against walls and you deal with it by yelling, "Stop it or we're leaving," but then immediately turn back to the very deep conversation you were having about manicures, without regard for the fact that the kid is now throwing the toys at people, I'm annoyed. I'm especially annoyed that it happens EVERY DAMN WEEK.

* If your kid gets evicted from dance class every week for hitting, punching, shoving, or otherwise causing bodily harm to the other kids in the class (who are significantly smaller than your punk-ass hooligan), please don't ignore the whole thing. More so, don't say that it's the teacher's fault. "He's good for me. She just doesn't know how to control wild kids." Your kid is well on his way to becoming a serial killer. Need I remind you that he broke his little brother's arm earlier in the year? Escalation, people. Escalation. You might want to lock up your family pets now.

* If your kid goes running out the door and into the street, I may feel inclined to (honestly) nicely ask him to please wait for you. If he turns to me and yells, "NO. YOU SHUT UP," before running out in front of a car? Your kid sucks. And so do you.

* If you spend every single minute of every single class not paying any attention whatsoever to the kid that you have in that class, instead choosing to gossip on and on and on and on with other parents while your non-dancing spawn run wild, but then shove people out of your way to be front and center for the show? I want to punch you in the mommy buttons, especially since your damn head is in nearly every one of my photos and your yammering is a voice over for my video. I always wanted video of you talking about how you dropped a deuce in the delivery room when you had your 4th kid, by the way. THANKS. The very graphic details you described while my kid was walking on stage to get her award are . . . touching. Or something.

Years from now, I'll look back at our home videos, filled with pride that a tiny little 3-year old Alexis fought through her shyness and rocked her dance class performance. I might even feel a little jab of pride for myself. I hung in there for 20+ weeks, stuck in a room with The Cheetos Pooper and her best buddy.

26 comments:

  1. ChickLitLisa10:25 PM

    She looks great! You are lucky. I sat thru 24+ (I stopped counting at 24) routines last week to see my niece's first recital...she was in #20. Alexis looks like she is having fun! Is this a variety dance class? I see gymnastics, tap and ballet all woven into one from your flickr pics

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  2. @ChickLitLisa--Yes, it's a little of everything. Gymnastics was a very minor part of the class this session, but I think that was just because the tap routine they did was a bit more intense than expected.

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  3. Ahhh good for her! Precious! Nothing cuter then a little girl in dance class. You must have been very proud.

    As for those types of moms/kids in the class - that totally made me laugh. I'm only a bit fearful of my oldest son who hit his younger brother with a golf club today while we were mini golfing. Only a bit worried.... ;)

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  4. Alexis looks adorable. And I will help you spork those mothers. Because ew.

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  5. Congratulations! More for you than for Alexis. :)

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  6. She has the cutest little face! I'm glad she overcame her stage fright! All those situations you're talking about... are they all the same kid? I hope so... otherwise, you must be living in a town full of witches and brats!

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  7. "Stop it or we're leaving," but then immediately turn back to the very deep conversation"

    this is exactly why kids do what they do--they are screamed at, then ignored by the very people who should be teaching them right from wrong. They have learned that the threats are exactly that--empty words mouthed by the parent to make other parents think they are doing their job. Screamer Mom, everyone knows you suck at your parental role. I really hate parents like that.

    Your Alexis is soooo cute! I know I have told you that before, but she is.

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  8. Way to go Alexis! Peanut's (and Diva's) recital is Saturday. We had two practices this week and they went pretty good on stage but the behind the scenes was a little rough. Less so today, but Wednesday was a nightmare. I was so tired by the end.

    BTW, I didn't know you had my relative's kids in your class. When did they move to Pittsburgh?

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  9. Way to go Alexis! She looks adorable in her dance outfit by the way! You deserve and award for putting up with the other moms in the class. So frustrating.

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  10. How adorable does she look?! I probably would have taken 200 pictures, because it just doesn't get any cuter than a little girl's dance recital.

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  11. Way to go, Alexis!! So cute!!!

    And woman, you deserve a dozen cookies, not just one.

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  12. Awesome! Congrats to both of you.

    And for the record, I'd greatly appreciate if you'd catch Micah before he runs out into the street. Sometimes he's just too fast. And also for the record, you would be my new hero, albeit trying to get away from the grateful lady repeatedly thanking you enough.

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  13. Oh my goodness...I didn't know they let the general public take dance lessons at the local Juvenile Detention Hall??? WOW...you'll be needing a boat load of sporks it seems. Way to go Alexis!

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  14. @Littlebear--It's two families with a kajillion kids between them. I don't actually know which kids belong to which mom because paying that much attention to them would make me insane.

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  15. Seriously, I think we might be sisters separated at birth. I have no patience for people who don't pay attention to or take responsibility for their kids in public. My SIL chief among them! I wonder sometimes why certain people even had kids to begin with when they act so inconvenienced when they actually have to parent.

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  16. I just caused a minor disturbance at work because I was laughing so hard. You crack me up with your spot-on (I'm sure) and wildly honest pictures of those people. I know people just like that and they deserve to be sporkified.

    And YAY! Alexis! She looks so grown up and...almost...sassy? in that picture. Like she's saying, "Yeah, I totally rock!" It's the hands on the hips and the grown-up dance shoes that kill me. :)

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  17. OMG, Alexis is so adorable, I just want to eat her up with a spork!!! Good for her, doing the performance. I'm so glad you found the right class for her.

    And I have no idea how you put up with those parents for all those weeks. I fully support you if you want to spork them. I will send you extra sporks even.

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  18. She looks AMAZINGLY CUTE!! I'm so glad she did well! Congrats to you both for making it through class and the show together!!!

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  19. OMG! She looks like she just stepped out of a Shirley Temple movie. You so need to make a copy of that in sepia! :)

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  20. Good for you! We made it all the way from September to the first week of April and then I couldn't handle another week...and no one else was willing to take Juliana. So 7 months of dance and no recital - we do have a fancy costume that I had already paid for at that point.

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  21. WooHOO for Alexis!!

    And? You made me laugh so hard I snorted. Which, in turn, made my newly-driving teenager laugh at me. And he loves to be able to laugh at me. And since I live to make him happy doing what he loves, you must be given credit for helping me do that today. Thanks.

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  22. You both deserve a big trophy or a sundae. Or both. You know, whatever floats your boat! ; )

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  23. Yay, Alexis!
    I just love dance class moms! Don't you? Ugh!

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  24. Alexis looks so proud of herself in that picture! Yaaay for her! and Yaay for you for surviving those parents. We have the same types of kids/parents at the studio my girls go to. They Drive.Me.Insane. I usually just bring my Ipod and tune them out when I am watching my girls. One week to go until recital and then I am done with them, until Fall at least when dance starts again.

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  25. I swear it's no wonder that there are so many dysfunctional kids out there with the way parents behave. I mean .... there are even parents out there who whine and moan about spending time with their kids and say they need a "break." There are also parents with small heads and fat bodies. Just sayin'.

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  26. yay alexis!!

    and now you know why i hate other people and their demon spawn.

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