Wednesday, July 1

Haaalp! They're Ganging Up on Me!

I'm outnumbered. There are two animal-loving freaks in this house, and just one semi-sane version of me. I predicted long ago that those two would eventually gang up on me, and now here I am--on the bottom of the kitty pile.

I probably started it. While we were at a local pet store grabbing some supplies for the Saltwater Tank of Horrors, I veered over to the kitten kennel to let Alexis play with the wee little kitties for a few minutes. She is her father's daughter, so of course she loved the feisty little buggers. Within moments she was giggling and carrying on about how she wanted one.

We have two cats. We don't need a kitten.

Fast forward a few weeks, and we found ourselves at PetSmart. PetSmart hates me, so they made sure to have tons of kittens hanging out right where Alexis would see them. She sprinted over to them, laughing, giggling, grinning, and pulling every kid trick there is when it comes to getting your way. Then she started in with the heavy guns, "I fink we need free kitties." She paused. "Please?" Her voice dripped with sweetness.

It took me a minute to figure out what she meant, but then I got it. Free = Three. She was asking to get another cat. Two + One = Three. It also equals NOOOOO.

Fast forward a few more weeks, and we went through the fuzzy kitty coos again. Alexis is the master of knowing how to manipulate me. She has manners, and she knows exactly when to use them. She also has laser eyes that can slice through my resilience. Not that it helped her any.

We have two cats. We don't need a kitten.

Somewhere along the way, I accidentally mentioned the whole thing to Mr. Husband. He correctly pointed out that my main excuse for putting the ka-bash on the animal acquisitioning was the amount of available space in our townhome. Without thinking, I said, "Yeah, I guess we'll have plenty of space once we move."

Now there are two of them pestering me for a kitten. One of them claims he's not in it for the kitten, but that he just wants to make the other one happy. One of them is such a liar, liar pants on fire.

We have two cats. We don't need a kitten.

If I say it enough, maybe I can maintain my Meanie Face long enough for the two of them to quit asking.

33 comments:

  1. Do. Not. Give. In.

    There's a giant leap between two cats and three. Your happy little feline dynamics can get all thrown out of whack and before you know it you're obsessing over where to put the litter box so cat A doesn't get all territorial on cat C, and how to keep cat B from eating all of cat C's food, or how to keep cats A and B from going spastic over cat C's preferred sleeping spot. Basically, cat C gets the short end of the stick and you're left cleaning up the territory.

    Though, Alexis is pretty damn cute. I'm not sure how I'd hold up to some strategic begging from that face.

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  2. Oh c'mon mean Mommy. We have an 8 week puupy who's biting the hell out of us but he's sooooooo sweet too. I'm such a sucker. :P

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  3. What jayna said! All of it.

    [Minus the fact that I'd about kill to be able to have something furry in my house period. I *hate* allergies, especially when they're NOT MINE. Argh.]

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  4. Careful....you are getting really close to crazy cat lady status:)

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  5. When did Alexis lose her baby chubbiness?

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  6. Be strong. At one point in time, we had 5 cats. That is 5 cats too many. We are now down to 1 and no more. I've put my foot down. Now a dog on the other hand...

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  7. I'd love to be able to side with Alexis on this one, but I am the mean Mom who gave away the 2 family cats a few months ago. I HATE CATS. I relented about 7 years ago and we ended up with 2. Now my home is cat free and I am much happier. But hey, that's just me...

    I know I have been silent for a long time on your blog, but I wanted you to know that I still read every day and I love your blog. I'm still up here in the Not so frozen (for the time being) North, and hoping to get out of here soon. Congrats on your new home, I'm happy for you!

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  8. So, what kind of kitten are you gonna get crazy cat lady?

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  9. You're screwed...

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  10. You have dogs, too. That means you aren't a crazy cat lady. Otherwise, I feel like 3 cats are probably a sign of crazy cat lady-ness.

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  11. When hubby and I got together, I had 3 cats. For a single lady in a house by herself, no big deal. When he moved in, we all still fit quite well. After we got married, we adopted (separately) 2 rescue beagles. Still seemed to work out just fine. Then after our son was born? "Man, this is a lot of animals!" was my thought. Well, all our pets were old, and one of the dogs and two of the cats had to be put to sleep a few years ago. Now we have a 12 year old cat who is antisocial and lives in the laundry room and a 15 year old dog. Not quite as crowded.

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  12. We used to have three cats. Prince passed away two years ago (Alexis doesn't seem to remember him, although she did greatly enjoy torturing him on the rare occassions that he was gooberish enough to hide where she could find him). The difference between two and three for us was pretty minor because he was a recluse cat that came out only when nobody was looking, but you knew he was around because he left behind a trail of fur unlike anything I have ever seen. Never ever ever ever again will we have a long-haired anything that sheds. NEVER EVER.

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  13. You are SO getting a kitten. And soon.

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  14. I agree with Summy. Your screwed. :)
    We have 4 cats (He has two, and I had two.. combined households.. voila!) and 2 dogs. Now we have a hamster AND a gerbil. I have gone INSANE in the Membrane. Oh the hair!The agony!

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  15. heh. heh.
    You must feel my husband's pain. We only have two dogs (because the Hound slaughtered the contents of our terrariums), but I've been trying to get him to come around to allowing assorted livestock if/when we get more property.
    No cats, but horses, cows, sheep...
    A kitten would be cheaper than a drafthorse. Count yourself fortunate!

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  16. @Becoming Mommy--The upside to not getting our 3 acre wonderland (just yet) is that I don't have to listen to Mr. Husband say he wants livestock. Oh, but he does--llama, sheep, goats, blah, blah, blah.

    OYE.

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  17. @Summy and Dina--SHOOSH, you two.

    I say that with lots of love because I know you're right. DAMMIT.

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  18. I would love to have sheep and goats. I'm pretty sure the City ordinances would NOT love for me to do that.

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  19. ChickLitLisa12:34 PM

    Send up a truce flag.....you need to wait 6 months in new house for you and current animals to get settled...then talk about it...or maybe, just maybe they will forget (not likely)

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  20. @3carnations--There are llamas at a farm across the street from the new neighborhood. Llamas. Going past them requires taking the long way to everywhere, but of course my husband goes that way every chance he gets.

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  21. Oy. You have a houseful...even when you do move...be strong!! *G* As tough as it is...I know you can do it. Meanie Mom's rule ;)

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  22. But what if they let you name it Joey McIntyre? :)

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  23. @Katie--DAMN YOU! Now I have to get a kitten so I can name it Joey. Shhhh . . . don't tell Mr. Husband about that McIntyre part.

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  24. HAHAHA....

    I bet he has his breeds all picked out too (llamas? not for me. the spitting. ew). We crazy animal people are all alike.

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  25. @Becoming Mommy--OF COURSE he does. He seems to think he should get a Siamese or Himalayan. You know, cat breeds that are just SO known for loving kids. ::headdesk::

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  26. Haha--I can't wait to meet the new kitten ;)

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  27. STAND STRONG... (i love animals along with the best of them, but my husband and daughter can't STAND a homeless kitten...)

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  28. ChickLitLisa4:31 PM

    Ummmm my brother is looking for a home for a pure bred blue point Himalayan kitten...free...I can see of it is still available...just saying

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  29. @ChickLitLisa--I'm renaming you Enabler. If, and that's a BIG if, I say something to Mr. Husband, I'll let you know.

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  30. Heh. Don't count on it.

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  31. And I have to say that we've had the llama discussion in our house. We'll call our llama Drama. That way it could be a drama llama, and if it has a baby it could be Mama Drama Llama. The kids find it amusing. I'll bet Mr. H would as well.

    It's just a very, very good thing that Mr. H is your husband and not mine. Scottish Highland cattle, llamas, the goat, the ponies... The list would go on.

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  32. I predict a new kitten withing 2 months of moving. Not because you are weak, but because Alexis is to damn cute to say no to!

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  33. We have no cats but I love cats and sometimes I start to weaken a little. A kitten is really hard to pass up. But then I think of litter boxes and I resist. If I already had a cat and was already dealing with the litter box, I'm not sure I could turn that face down. Not that I'm saying you should. I'm just saying I don't envy your position!

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