Thursday, August 27

I Pretty Much Only Talk to My Kid in the Car

I can tell you with 100% certainty the adults in this house have had nothing to do with the kid deciding she loves sports. NOTHING. If we were responsible for it, we would also be pulling her puppet strings away from the evil that is the Latina Whore (Dora), making sure she never so much as glanced at Zach Efron's thrusting pelvis in High School Musical, and there would most certainly not be a tacky pink cheerleader outfit sitting around. The kid has a mind of her own, and she definitely determines what she does and does not like.

Number one on her sports list is hockey. We didn't do that, but we're plenty happy to play along with it.

I think.

As Alexis and I were in the car, headed home, I happened to have sports talk radio blaring. She was OK with the noise coming out of the speakers because the topic of discussion was the Penguins. She loooooooves to talk about the Penguins. In fact, she was basically repeating everything the the radio guy was saying. Then, suddenly, she veered off track.

"Momma, he said 'Sidney Crosby.' I like Sidney Crosby!" she said, her voice dripping with the sounds of a young crush. I smiled to myself as she said it. After all, what is there not to like?

"Sidney Crosby can kiss me," she continued, blasting me out of my happy place and straight into my grave.

The teenage years are gonna suck, aren't they?

22 comments:

  1. Is that her penance for having impure thoughts about Sidney Crosby?

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  2. Oh boy. They are gonna suck BIG time!! ;)

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  3. Yes. Yes they are.

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  4. HAHA! Oh you're in for it!

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  5. Bwahahahaha!!!! I love it. You're so hosed.

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  6. I don't think there is anything wrong with this.

    Sidney Crosby can kiss me, too, thanks.

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  7. @chasingalittlelion--You cougar, you!

    And, uh, yeah. Umhmm.

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  8. At least if he ends up kissin' your daughter (like when she's 22 or so) you'll probably get season tickets, right? Just sayin.

    As a total aside (but brought on by the thought of someone kissing Crosby), I think L'Oreal should market a lipstick that is the EXACT COLOR of his lips. They're just beautiful.

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  9. Haha Sidney Crosby can eat crackers on my sheets. I don't mind. ;) Teenagers? You have no idea. I have a teen son, and I didn't realize how ferociously protective against GIRLS I am. I automatically don't like any girl he thinks he likes. I know, That's bad, but I can't help it. Heaven help the boy that decides to like my daughter when she gets to that stage. I already don't like them. :)

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  10. You are flat out in for it.

    That photo on your flicker? Amazing. And again....you are flat out in for it.

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  11. Your girl has got GOOD taste! I'm just sayin'.

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  12. Oh, hello ads for Penguins stuff! THAT is why Google Ads are fun!

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  13. HA HA HA! Coincidence that you have pics of a red room (redrum?) after that particular ending? I think not. ;) Just give it a few years. Gracie told me the other day she is okay with the idea of me marrying someone, but that I can't have a boyfriend. ...? Because boyfriends and girlfriends kiss and then you have a baby and EWWWWW! kissing! I kid you not - that was her list of reasons in that order. I'm trying to figure out how to keep her 5 years old forever.

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  14. Every time I read a story like this my fear of having a girl grows a bit stronger.

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  15. Oh my....
    Yep, you're in for it!

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  16. It's lucky I was not mid-drink because I swear I'd have spit my water ALL OVER the computer and keyboard! LOL!!!

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  17. OMG!! How utterly hilarious...and terrifying! The future is a scary scary thing...I'm terrified of it too!!

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  18. Boys. They're trouble, yo.

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  19. when I was 7 .. I put on my mom's pink lipstick and kissed a poster of Johnathan Taylor Thomas (that kid from home improvement) and hung it on my wall above my bed.

    I have a feeling you may be in for a lipstick adorned surprise in the near future.

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  20. yes.

    that is all.

    just ... yes.

    bwahahahahahaahahahahahhaaaaaaaaa

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  21. I just want you to know how bitter I am about my FF quarterback and about my FF draft in general. My decrepit laptop on its last death gasps decided it wasn't going to let me join the live draft and I got stuck with a lot of suck on my team as the computer decided my team's makeup on my behalf. So bitter.

    As far as hockey goes? It's not our thing, but every time the football game is on, my kid enters euphoria. I'm grateful.

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  22. well i think this is way beyond cute, but shes too little to be thinking about kissing anyone, even Sideny! :) I remember my first obession, my father put an end to that imidiatly. and yes, teenagers do suck. Sidney Crosby is mine! :)

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