Sunday, August 9

A Very Important Question

It was just a typical Sunday around these parts. Mr. Husband was busy mopping floors while I was busy grouting some new tile. (Why, yes, we do epitomize stereotypical gender roles. Why do you ask?) Alexis was busy reenacting the past two Christmases as she rediscovered toys she had long ago forgotten existed, right up until I unpacked them for her this morning. (Shut up. I know we've been in this house three weeks and that it seems odd that I just now got around to unpacking some of the boxes clearly marked "TOYS." I've been busy painting and tiling and pretending there aren't boxes all over the dang place. It's hard maintaining this level of focus, yo.)

Alexis took a break in her enjoyment of all things plastic and annoying to seek out some lunch. She's become a bit too independent in that realm since we moved. It seems that having a pantry available for her to peruse has facilitated a never-before-seen level of crazy. She has managed to make her own breakfast by microwaving some waffles all. by. herself. She has managed to climb the shelves in the pantry so she could make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich all. by. herself as well. I'm expecting that she will either set the house on fire or knock down all its walls any minute now.

Fortunately, Mr. Husband caught wind of what she was up to before she had a chance to go mountain climbing for the peanut butter. (Yes, I know I could just put it on a lower shelf. Or, she could LISTEN when I yell at her to keep her feet on the floor. I like Option B a lot better in the long run.) As he gathered up the appropriate items to assemble the requested peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, he asked me if I would like one.

"No," I replied. Then my mouth ran away without my brain, "You don't make them right." I realized that I had just uttered fighting words two seconds too late. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, he doesn't hear a word I say these days, so he totally missed my diss on his peanut butter and jelly sandwich-making skills. Given that I was up to my eyeballs in grout at the moment, I was in no position for a battle royale.

(An aside, why didn't someone remind me that I HATE grouting? I know I repressed the memory of all that misery, but somebody should have reminded me so that I wouldn't voluntarily tackle a tiling project.

Erk. Grrrm. Strrreng.

Oh yeah! I'm going to put the same tile in the kitchen if we ever manage to scrape together the pennies to replace the counter top! There's something about that idea I'm forgetting, but I'm sure I'll remember about 14 seconds after I open the . . . huh. I forget what I was going to say. Whatever. MEMORY REPRESSION IS THE BESTEST.)

Anyway, that got me to thinking about how I can totally taste the difference when he makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It doesn't make sense, I admit, but I can. Because I know that there will eventually be a brawl over who makes the better sandwich, I'm preemptively arming myself with ammunition to prove that I'm right.

I'm always right.

In my head.

So, there are two methods of sandwich-making that happen in this house. One person puts the peanut butter on one piece of bread, the jelly on the other piece of bread, and then smashes the two pieces together. The other person puts the peanut butter on one piece of bread, then layers the jelly on top of the peanut butter, and tops off the layers it with a plain piece of bread.

Who is right?



Thank you for your attention to this important matter.

Oh, and hey! Looky what I did!

Before:



After:

(Ignore the mess, please and thank you.)

63 comments:

  1. Wow, that's GORGEOUS. Wanna come do my house next?

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  2. For the record, I vote for putting each product on a different piece of bread then allowing them to meet in a lovely matrimony when both pieces of bread are placed together.

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  3. Holy moly that looks awesome! I voted as well...duh peanut butter one side, jelly on other:P

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  4. Always peanut butter on one slice and jelly on the other. It just doesn't spread right if they're on the same side.

    Or, if there's a super picky toddler around, peanut butter goes on one half of the bread, jelly on the other half. Fold in two and then smush. Repeat with the second slice, ending up with two half sandwiches. Because it's so much better that way, obviously.

    And that transformation is amazing. You have my respect on the tiling. I draw the line at anything more complicated than floors.

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  5. @Trinity--HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Uh, no. NO.

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  6. ChickLitLisa11:14 PM

    WOW! I would have never guessed it was the same room.

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  7. You're both doing it wrong. Peanut butter goes on both sides of bread and then put jelly inbetween (so the person that puts it on the peanut butter is closer to being right.) Why is this important? Because (especially if you are taking the sandwich for lunch later in the day) the jelly doesn't soak into the bread and get lost or yucky. Now you both know.

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  8. You are a freak. You can't TASTE the difference. You've sniffed too much paint recently.

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  9. you're all wrong, you mix the two and then spread it on the bread... the jelly doesn't 'run' off the bread, nor does it make it soggy. but then again, i don't eat pb&j

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  10. OH.MY.GOSH. That room? is amazing!! And you? are awesome! I keep scrolling back up to look at it one more time. Wow.

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  11. The room turned out beautiful, especially the tile. The colors are very striking.

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  12. Super pretty fireplace and that room is huge. And I vote for the peanut butter and jelly on their own slices of bread. Give them space.

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  13. only reason *I* make the best pb&j is because i make sure the pb goes all the damn way to the edges at an equal thickness. same for the jam on its piece of bread. and yes, i do prefer jam to jelly. (all about the spread ability.) now, if you please, i must know immediately which of you makes the sammich the other way.

    now, about this phenomenal redecorating you did. WOW. where did you come up with such an incredible idea? and the colors? GORGEOUS! i am all about impressed with you, woman. great job is an understatement and a half.

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  14. I love peanut butter and jelly, I don't care how you slap it together. YUM!

    Great job - the fireplace (and especially the tile!) looks awesome! : )

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  15. Huh. In our house, it's peanut butter and honey, so really? I'm no help to you. :)

    But I'm totally lovin' the new look that room is sportin'!

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  16. That tile looks phenomenal!! With the little bit of light in there, it looks almost like fire! You did an amazing tiling job!

    And I must say the paint looks really good, too! I'd *cough* or something but your second coat totally rocks any first coat :).

    And @Trinity, ha! No. My house first.

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  17. 1. I cast an honet vote, but you have lost your mind. :)

    2. That is beautiful! Nice job.

    ciao,
    rpm

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  18. Anonymous8:09 AM

    PB on both slices of bread to act as a barrier so the jelly doesn't make the bread all soggy and gross.

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  19. Wow... you have quite the eye for decorating! Sadly, I don't and it puzzles me since my entire family is in the home decorating business. Except me. And they're in Richmond and I'm here and lost.

    Oh and as for the pbj... I voted that you've lost your mind. Maybe take a little break?

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  20. I'm hiring you when we buy our next house. Not for another three years so that's enough notice, right?

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  21. Pfft. I do have to wonder... What about putting PB on *both* pieces of bread, with jelly covering one of them, then smashing the pieces together?

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  22. Anonymous9:11 AM

    You are awesome. Mad design skills, yo

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  23. Wow - that is pretty impressive! Looks amazing and after only 3 weeks!

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  24. Beautimous work there, woman! A.MAZ.ING!
    I like my peanut butter and Jelly sandwhiches to be toasted. I toast the bread BEFORE I put anything on it, yo. For me Peanutbutter is on one side, and Jelly is on the other.

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  25. love the colors. It looks awesome. I think sandwiches always taste better when other people make them. Because then I'm NOT making them. Which makes me happy.

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  26. That looks great!

    and for the record, *I* make the best PB&J. I put a layer of PB on each side of the bread and then the jelly in the middle. This way the jelly doesn't get absorbed into the bread, creating mush. The PB acts as a barrier and keeps all the jelly-ish goodness inside and the bread perfect.

    You can thank me later.

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  27. I'm really in awe that I hadn't heard of this peanut butter on both slices theory before this post. I need to try it ASAP.

    Good thing I didn't bring up creamy vs. crunchy, though. I can just imagine how defensive people would get if I told them they were doing that wrong, too. ;-)

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  28. I'll usually take a pb&j any way I can get it. But when I make it, I put the peanut butter and jelly on the same slice of bread.

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  29. Peanut butter on one side and jelly on the other. Heavy on both of them. Hubby does put one on each side, but the paenut butter doesn't go to the edges and the jelly is skimpy. I'll eat it anyway.

    You can totally taste the difference.

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  30. Thank you, @3carnations! There is definitely a taste difference. DEFINITELY.

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  31. That room looks SPIFFY. Nice job! Great colors!

    The best PB&J is made by mixing the PB and J in a separate bowl and THEN applying them as one mixture.

    This can also be done with PB and honey, which my dad dubbed as a "Thundercat Sandwich". NOM!

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  32. I am from the camp of PB on both slices of bread so that the jelly doesn't make one side soggy.

    I LOVE what you have done to that room!! Beautiful!

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  33. @rsager--This thing with the mixing of the peanut butter and jelly seems like it should be illegal in at least 32 states. Very suspicious.

    I fully support Thundercat Sandwiches, though. I'd even donate to their campaign.

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  34. Michelle12:43 PM

    Yes! You can totally taste a difference. Hubs is not patient enough to get the lumps out of the jelly, and his method results in jelly seeping through the bread by lunchtime.

    My vote: layer it all on the same piece of bread. More specifically, I put the PB on one slice, use the other slice to wipe the PB off my knife, then spread the jelly on top of the PB and use the other slice to once again clean off my knife. This minimizes the smooshage of jelly through the bread AND has the benefit of not getting PB in the jelly jar.

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  35. Michelle12:44 PM

    Oh, also? Gorgeous tile job.

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  36. Your room is awesome!I really need to get busy on my redecorating. SIGH. I am such a procrastinator.

    As for the PBJ...*whispers* I've always hated peanut butter and have been known to eat jelly sandwiches when I was a kid.

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  37. Your house is gorgeous!!

    My husband pours coke (or dr. pepper or sprite or whatever carbonated beverage) ALL WRONG. He completely kills the carbonation. There is the wrong way and MY WAY, aka the only way. I might even have to blog about this. Hope you don't mind if I "borrow." I promise to credit you. :)

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  38. best PB&J sandwich is made when you take three slices of bread. On the first you spread peanutbutter, you also spread PB on the third slice (inner and out slices). The second slice you spread jelly on both sides and place between each PB bread. DELICIOUS!

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  39. Oh my gosh, that is stunning! Good work :-)

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  40. sisjake2:00 PM

    PB & J: butter (or margarine) on one slice of bread, then the peanut butter on top of the butter, jelly on the opposite side (grape jelly preferred); place gently together.

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  41. Duh, it's pb on one side (and always FIRST so you can clean the knife with the other piece of bread), jelly on the other piece, then plain potato chips IN THE MIDDLE! (but you must eat it right away or the jelly makes the chips soft)

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  42. Anonymous2:14 PM

    So after 8 years of talking online/on the phone, I finally went to visit my friend in Australia. Where we came upon a fundamental difference... the ONLY argument we had (a non-serious one, but still) was that I apparently make PBJ sandwiches wrong. He's in the PB&J on one side camp. I'm on the 1 slice PB 1 slice J side. He even made me his version, and I said mine tastes way better. And he said his does. So we decided to just each make our own PBJ sandwiches from then on. :)
    ~HeatherIbabble

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  43. PB on one side and jelly on the other. P.S. chunky ;)

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  44. Flippin beautiful!!! I am so impressed. Oh, and I have a child that loves to Spiderman the pantry too. I ended up putting everything that he likes in an above counter cabinet & using a babyproof lock. Now the pantry holds crap like boxed goods of noodles & potatoes. Not so much fun... he's moved on to the fridge.

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  45. I love it. You did an awesome job

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  46. Holy. Hell. I will do whatever you want if you pretty please just come fix my house. (I promise to hire you a very cute grouter.) Or, better yet, let me move back north and live with you in your pretty pretty house. As an added bonus, the girls will keep Alexis busy, and I promise we all sleep in our own beds all night long.

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  47. I could pity all the hard work (remembering how people laughed at her). Last summer right after we signed the contract. A week later the contractors decided to go on vacation. During that week, almost on the same day to be exact. My front steps collapsed, my tub faucet broke in half (unbelievable) and the toilet decided to gurgle out the back and through my ceiling. Heh! Still I can tell you it will be perfect in the end, or close to it...at least worth it. I think...

    Loved what you did with the livingroom. As for PB. PB on one side, jelly on the other. Otherwise the jelly doesn't spread right. And please God don't tell me someone uses butter on the bread (eck). My grandmother used to do that.
    (Hugs)Indigo

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  48. And yes, you can tell the difference. Your mouth is glued shut because there isn't enough jelly.
    (winks) Indigo

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  49. @Katie--Will there be cookies? If so, consider it DONE!

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  50. DUDE! I don't even remember what the original post was about because I AM FALLING MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU AND YOUR ABILITY TO DE-FARFANDIZE (or whatever it was) YOUR HOUSE! Seriously - LOVE IT!

    Oh, yes . . . PB & J. I too can totally taste the difference when hubby makes it - it sucks. I will have to ask him how he makes it so it can be added to the list of Wrong Ways To Make A PB & J.

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  51. Oh my goodness that looks AMAZING!!! I'm so jealous!! You rock, girl :D

    On the PB&J note...I did vote...but you didn't give the option for it depending on the situation. I prefer the TASTE of them comingling before assembly, but for easy (and the less messy approach) when I make them for the kids I do them on separate slices.

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  52. Katie7:23 PM

    And the peanut butter has to go all the way to the EDGE of the bread. Not just slapped in the middle. If I have to eat crust, it better have something to make it more palatable, thank you.

    I laughed because I said the SAME THING to my hubby six years ago (after fuming about his sandwich making skills for 7 years. Since I'd just given birth to our 4th child (at home without drugs, no less!) he didn't grumble. Much. For future reference (yours, not mine since the factory is shut down in our household) the week after having a baby is a pretty good time to fix those small problems we all have with husbands. Kindly. With much blame on postpartum hormones and pain. For some reason, they don't argue back quite so much!

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  53. OMG! You are amazing!! Okay, when can you come over and help me beautify my home? You don't have to do any work - just give ideas.

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  54. you have some made tiling skillz, girlfriend.

    as for the poll, i'm biased by having had a child who was allergic to peanuts. we put peanut butter on one side and then got AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT KNIFE to put jelly on the other. that way, the jelly wasn't contaminated by the peanut butter, and drama king could still have the jelly.

    more than you wanted to know? heh.

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  55. @Burgh - of COURSE there will be cookies. And if you think those cookies were nummy, think of how good they will be when they haven't been frozen and thawed out whilst traveling for three days. When you taste them straight out of the oven? You will beg me to be your Baker-in-Residence!

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  56. Love your colors & YOU ROCK at tiling! Put please please tell me you aren't going to tile your kitchen counters...please! When we moved in here they had tile counters (something I thought I always wanted)instead of fabulous, it's been nothing but a nightmare the entire time, just sayin'

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  57. Wow - that paint and tile is fantastic. I'm very impressed. I personally swore off all tile projects a few years back. I LOATHE them. Well - I swore off all re-grouting projects, anyway. They are the absolute worst of all the misery that is tile project.

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  58. I am of the pb and jelly on the same side unless they are mixed together. However, that PB on both sides idea is genius.

    I'm actually more partial to PB & Honey than PB&J and both my boys are as well. That too requires a special talent and I make them better than the hubs.

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  59. That transformation is PHENOMENAL. Oh, and I love to grout, BTW.

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  60. Did I mention that I leave our spare key under our doormat? I'll expect our living room to look the same by the time we return from Canada on Sunday.

    I'll pay you in properly-made PB&J sandwiches (since you've now taught me how to make them properly)

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  61. Tim Morris9:25 PM

    Could you at least help me pick the colors for my apartment. What you did was really HOT!

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  62. @Tim--Sure! I like spending other people's money. ;-)

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  63. There are some very wrong people who read this blog. I don't know which way you make a sandwich, but the peanut butter and jelly should always be on the same piece of bread with a plain piece of bread placed on top.

    Also, condiments only ever go on the bottom of a hamburger, in this order: ketchup, mustard, pickles. Amen.

    Gorgeous fireplace, by the way. The colors really make it pop! (Did I just say pop like that? When did I start channeling a gay HGTV host?)

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