Tuesday, September 15

The Future Looks . . . Furry. And Wet.

I married a nut. An animal nut, that is. Given the opportunity, Mr. Husband would have an array of hedgehogs, a troop of monkeys, a muster of peacocks, a pack of dogs, a litter of cats, and a mob of other animals running around our house. I've often said that my dream house would be surrounded by at least three acres of property, but the truth of the matter is that he and his merry animal obsession would ruin that dream by taking over every spare inch. So, I make do with our smaller yard and remain very Bob Barker-ish about the whole pet population thing around here.

If ever I need a reminder why I have to remain guarded about the whole pet population thing, all I have to do is think of Bobo the Bunny. Bobo was an all-white bunny Mr. Husband found running around the parking lot outside our apartment in Ohio. Bobo was apparently a former pet who had been set free because he was very tame and perfectly willing to follow Mr. Husband into our enclosed patio area. Mr. Husband set Bobo up with a rockin' bunny bachelor pad out on that patio. Bobo had food, water, was granted occasional visitation by our cats, and had quite the nice-sized garden to roam freely.

Until he ate one of my newly purchased perennial plants, that is. Then he was granted a REAL nice-sized garden to roam freely because I opened the gate and chased him out.

Alexis is the next generation of nut. If I let her get every animal she asked for, we'd have to rent Neverland just to have enough space for them all. She is mostly focused on her quest for a kitten (still ain't happening, yo), but once in a while she gets on a new bend.

Tonight, she started her quest for a baby seal. Yes, a seal. She has it all figured out. I am supposed to go buy her a big, baby seal and it MUST be a girl. Then I am supposed to go buy a pool. Alexis showed me the exact spot where the pool will have to be set up in the back yard. She's going to feed the seal breakfast burritos every day and for every meal, but the seal can only have dinner if it takes the dogs for a walk first.

Y'know, if Bobo the Bunny had contributed to the household by walking dogs or whatever, we might still have him. Clearly, Alexis is going to out-nut her father.

Fantastic.

12 comments:

  1. I don't know where to start...the breakfast burrito, or the dog walking. That seal will be lucky, and talented:P

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  2. Oh, and FIRST! Chica-chica!

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  3. What a fitting picture, because you're HOSED.

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  4. Hello? No kitten? Kittens are cute and cuddly!

    Wait. They grow up into cats. never mind.

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  5. Smart girl *G* Figuring it all out :)

    I'm with you though...furriness leads to issues...ours certainly has...

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  6. We have a friend that has a pet nut for a father. In his retirement, he has taken to collecting stray dogs that really need homes. He lives in a super mansion, to set the scene. Anyway, he has an old Astro Van that he hollowed out and bought specifically to take the dogs on rides around town. At any time, he has at least 8 dogs. He also takes them through the McDonald's drive thru and gets them all biscuits in the morning.

    I'm serious. You're welcome.

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  7. Weeding the garden doesn't count? :)

    I say you get the girl some space monkeys and tell her they'll evolve into seals.

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  8. I love that kid. What seal WOULDN'T want breakfast burritos for every meal??

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  9. i had no idea seal's diets consisted of breakfast burritos. looks like i know what to pack next time i go to seaworld.

    xoxo

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  10. See, I just married a nut. Period.

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  11. Mmmm . . . breakfast burritos. Lucky seal!

    (And dude? You're hosed because your kid is super smart. We have a dog that Cooper and Maren both help care for, and yet neither one of them understand the concept of 'pets' or know that they could join me in bugging their father for another dog.)

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  12. Hawt!!!

    My kid is lobbying for a pet shark. Maybe he and Alexis can have a northeast Seaworld.

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