Thursday, September 17

I Have No Idea What You are Quoting

I think it's time that we got a little something out of the way. If you are ever about to ask me, "Have you seen (Insert movie title here)?" just don't. I can tell you the answer without hearing the movie title. The answer is NO.

I don't watch movies. Never really have.

You see, I have the attention span of a gnat. Actually, I have about half as much of an attention span as a gnat does. I could totally get beaten by a gnat in a stare-down because all the gnat would have to do is ask, "Have you seen (Insert movie title here)?" I would end up all distracted and confused and getting my ass kicked by a gnat. So, while I may sit down on the couch with the intent to watch a movie, it won't happen. I'll end up picking up a book or the laptop or a piece of lint off my shirt, and ten minutes later, it's all over. I no longer have any idea what is going on with the movie. Since I know I won't pay attention through an entire movie, I just don't try. It kinda makes Mr. Husband nuts because his entire vocabulary is made up of movie quotes. I never get the joke when he speaks movie-ese.

Anyhoooo, I started out making a list of movies I've never seen, but then I couldn't think of more than like ten movie titles. So, I asked twitter to name the greatest movie of all time. Here's what twitter said:

American Beauty
The Princess Bride
The King and I
Saving Private Ryan
Joy Ride 2
The Godfather
Life is Beautiful
Dances with Wolves
Forrest Gump
Gone with the Wind
West Side Story
The Green Mile
A Hard Days Night
Young Frankenstein
Sound of Music
The Mambo Kings
The Burbs
Bull Durham
Rat Race
Rain Man
Good Will Hunting
Big Lebowski
Big Trouble in Little China
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Blade Runner
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
The Matrix
Million Dollar Baby
The Hollywood Knights

Out of that entire list, I have seen:
Forrest Gump
The Matrix

That's it. THAT'S IT.

And while you're sitting there with your jaw on the floor wondering how I've never seen a movie that tons of people love, like The Princess Bride, let me add that I've never watched a single Star Wars.

You OK there? You didn't pass out, did you? Alrighty then.

Tell me what movie I absolutely must see. Maybe I'll try to stay awake through one or two of your suggestions.


  1. I didn't tweet you because I was pretending to be a super studious college student who doesn't have time to respond to tweets (although reading them is, apparently, another story). If you see one movie in your life, it should be this:

    D2: The Mighty Ducks.

    Not joking.

  2. There are quite a few of these that I've never seen either, but I can claim at least 20 of them. I haven't seen any movies lately that weren't cartoons though. Give me a good book and I'm much happier.

    (Love the photo!)

  3. mambo10110:41 PM

    Disagree with Caroline. Best hockey moving of all time is Slapshot. Just make sure Alexis is asleep when you watch it though. ;)

  4. mambo10110:42 PM

    *movie, that is.

  5. The Departed.
    It's long but it's SOOOO great.

  6. HECK YES D2. However, since you're not a child of the 90s, the love may not be there. Similar to how a friend of mine saw The Goonies for the first time in high school and hated it. Thus, I think you should start with The Big Lebowski if you want comedy and American Beauty if you want drama.

  7. The Princess Bride.

  8. Crap I suck too cause I have only seen 5 of them. I like funny and romantic comedies. I have friends who hate me because I can't sit through a movie with them. My hands get bored and must type, what can I say?

  9. Anonymous11:02 PM

    I heartily recommend The Princess Bride. It has a bit of everything, with a decent, light comedy tone over it all. It's a little tongue-in-cheek, but not dorky tongue-in-cheek like so many of the modern, quirky "comedies."

    Though I would recommend many, many movies, as I love to watch movies; more than any TV show. I do love books even more, and can get lost in a series for days, weeks, or months, depending on the length of the series and how much daily free time I have.

    For someone that doesn't watch movies much, I would say that many of the movies in the list above would be difficult to get through. Some are just plain long, some are slow, some just odd, and some require a bit of a cult following instinct to really appreciate. Aside from The Princess Bride, I liked many of the others on that list, but would need more info to recommend any others. (Do you like music? What about musicals and that style of music? Would you appreciate a quirky religious humor flick? Slow, heart-touching drama, but only if you really let yourself get into it?)

    Sorry for the novella.

  10. If you *do* wanna see Princess Bride, pretty sure the DVD can be handed off with the return of the iPod.

  11. Anonymous11:21 PM

    Howl's Moving Castle!!! Its a great Miyazaki film...Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind is a VERY close second. Both are kid-friendly. Come to think of it, I like just about all of Miyazaki's films. Spirited Away was a big hit here in the US...that's another good one.

  12. Oh, My all time favorite is Breakfast at Tiffany's...seen it?

  13. You must see You Can Count On Me, Stand By Me, The Outsiders, Steel Magnolias, Dogma (but only if you're a lax catholic or think lax catholics are funny) and Fletch.

    Then you shall be complete as a person. I promise!

  14. Better Off Dead, Say Anything, Punch Drunk Love, Lost in Translation, Some Kind of Wonderful. All great movies that I could watch over and over again.

    I've seen more Star Wars than I ever wanted thanks to my son's 2 year hardcore fascination.

  15. Bull Durham and Good Will Hunting for sure. Also, I'm surprised nobody mentioned Dirty Dancing as one of the best coming of age movies to ever be made. Love the photo.

  16. Umm, considering I've only seen like three of those on that list, I don't think I'm qualified to make recommendations ;-) Though, I can recite Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella in my sleep.

  17. I've seen about 2/3 of these. (I've never seen The Princess Bride either - I've caught snippets but it doesn't hold my attention.)

    My favs:
    When Harry Met Sally
    Dogma (you would laugh hard if you paid attention)
    Shawshank Redemption
    Wedding Crashers
    Sound of Music
    Wizard of Oz
    Dead Poet Society

    I'm also a dork who loves all of the Indiana Jones Movies, the Bond movies, the Star Trek Movies, and most of the Star Wars movies.

  18. I only skimmed over everyone else's comments. And I didn't see your Tweet about movies. I've only seen 17 or so from the list.

    These are my recommendations, keep in mind, I'm not a movie junkie. I view movies as a place to stop my brain from thinking of everything else, or to go to sleep occasionally. :-)

    Tombstone (only movie I've ever seen 3-6 times IN the theatre)
    Poolhall Junkies
    Suicide Kings
    Dogma (is good for us kinda-Catholic folk)
    Wedding Crashers
    Monsters, Inc. - and any and all Disney and/or Pixar movies (Toy Story, Cinderella, Finding Nemo, Snow White)
    Any James Bond movie w/ Sean Connery
    Princess Bride
    Anything made by John Hughes in the 80s (Sixteen Candles, Pretty In Pink, Breakfast Club)
    Garden State
    Say Anything
    Boondock Saints
    Fight Club

  19. Anonymous1:06 AM

    I too am not a movie-watcher, though I have seen a large handfull of those on the list. I can't really put my finger on a 'Favorite' movie, though I will always watch Dogma if it is on - mostly because I find the Catholic faith interesting, and I love the jokes in the movie.

    (I have seen most of the Star Wars films - which made me Girlfriend of the Year at the time, but have yet to see any of the Matrix movies. Disney, on the other hand . . . haven't missed a one!)

  20. I feel really, really bad now! You've seen only four of the top movies, but I made you sit through the garbage that is "Burn After Reading"? HOW were you not falling asleep during that? Or beating your head against the seat in front of you?

    I would have to know what kind of movie you enjoy before recommending any. I've seen A LOT. I love movies.

  21. Anonymous8:22 AM

    I completely agree with the recommendation of any of Miyazaki movie. They are absolutely magical. I own every one that I have been able to find and must say they are far more imaginative and unique than anything made in the US in a long time. Alexis may be a bit young for them, but please make sure she sees Howl's Moving Castle and Spirited Away when she is a bit older. They will spark her imagination.

    I also highly recommend The Princess Bride. It is funny, quirky and pretty quick moving. Alexis would also probably love it since it is, after all, a fairy tale. It is also chock full of great lines regularly used by movie quoters. You could then show off your newly acquired quotes by throwing the husband an "Inconceivable" or "as you wish". Wouldn't he be impressed? LOL.

    Here's hoping you can sit down, relax and enjoy the fun and escape of a great movie.

  22. ChickLitLisa8:35 AM

    I only have seen 1/3 of the list. But I have seen Star Wars.
    As for movie recommendations-I have none....because so many of my favorite movies are great to ME but probably look cheesy now.

    Maybe u should watch the "classics" Grease and Star Wars (original). Alexis might like Grease (and therefore u would see less HSM) and well, Star Wars is a classic...and there is always the original WIlly Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

  23. I saw Star Wars when it was rereleased in the nineties. I fell asleep. My son has developed an interest in Star Wars, so I get the feeling that I will see it again in the next five years.

  24. I'm going with Dazed and Confused. You learn a few lines out of that one, you impress hubs and never have to watch a movie again.

  25. And yet you can sit through hours of boring sporting events. I don't think a short attention span is the problem, it's just different priorities. :)

    If you really want to watch a movie, I'd go with one of the shorter ones. Dances with Wolves is over 3 hours long! Personally, one of my favorites, although not in the Academy Awards realm is "Where the Heart Is" Natalie Portman, Stockard Channing and Ashley Judge. It's got lots of good Walmart stuff in it. She even has her baby in the Walmart and ... well, I don't want to ruin it for you if you ever want to watch it.

  26. IF you want movie lines to one up your hubby, def Princess Bride, Dazed and Confused.

    Get your gf's together and watch Steel Magnolias.

    Goonies is one to watch with Alexis.

    Star Wars, meh. I was born in 77 so I missed most of it (ie the year the first one came out). Hubby was 5 when it premiered...hence his undying love for Princess Leia.

  27. Monty Python and The Holy Grail
    Princess Bride
    Dirty Dancing
    Pretty Woman
    The Thing Called Love (my all time fave, not many people have heard of it though)

    and favorite kids movies:
    The Emperor's New Groove
    Ice Princess

  28. I DID PASS OUT!!!
    sheesh, woman...

  29. And I'm going to add The Untouchables.

    That is my favority movie of all time--partly because then a certain actor was young and hot and hadn't started making faces that reminded me of Grandpa (ew). Partly because it's a really exciting story that just happens to also be true.

  30. Holy Cannoli's Lady! I have seen many of those movies, although I don't seem to have time to see any lately (wonder why??)
    If you are a sports lover, watch Rudy, or Miracle with Kurt Russel. If you are romantic watch Bed of Roses or The Notebook. If you like action, watch ANY of the Indiana Jones Movies. If you like comedy its Wedding crashers.
    I loved the
    Princess Bride, and still smile the entire time I watch it... I think because it's nostalgic. It is quite cheesy, but cute.

    Good luck finding time to sit down and watch some of those. I can't wait for the day when I can rent a movie and eat popcorn and just do nada!

  31. I think every woman should see Amelie... But it requires reading (subtitles) so that might be expecting too much...

    You should probably see something funny. Funny is good. Like maybe Wild Hogs or Without a Paddle type funny.

  32. Anonymous10:20 AM

    Watch Knocked up. Not with your daughter around, but that has got to be the funniest movie of all time.

  33. Not much a movie person, I go to the theater at most once a year. And it I am watching a movie at home, I am doing something else as well. Most of my true favs are old movies - High Society, Gigi, Breakfast at Tiffanys. Lots of really good stuff in the comments (Holy Grail, Say Anything).

    Here are a few I don't see listed: The American President, Talladega Nights, Napoleon Dynamite, The Usual Suspects.

  34. This is hard for me. HARD! I love movies. I don't watch television, but I love movies. Maybe you ought to start out with something that stars someone you think is really hot. Would that help you stay awake through it?

  35. There are three movies that I will watch over and over again:

    Jurassic Park
    Lilo & Stitch
    Muppet Treasure Island

    Two of those are WAY kid friendly, and MTI has enough grown-up humor to make it interesting (ignore the boy soprano).

    Also, The Princess Bride is popular for a reason - it's def worth watching.

  36. Anonymous11:14 AM

    Would you mind stating where you bought that couch? I'm looking for a new one without any luck and I really like yours. Thanks!

  37. @Anonymous--It came from the Levin Outlet in West Mifflin. We got it about a month ago as a scratch and dent (it needed the back wood glued back together and was missing a leg). There was a chair and a regular couch that matched, so I'm sure somebody there could track it down.

  38. Princess Bride- the lines in this movie are the BESt to recite. Seriously.

    Dirty Dancing
    Sixteen Candles

  39. Sweet Home Alabama and Coming to America. I could watch those 2 movies every dang day.

    I like the Harry Potter movies too.

  40. I've only seen 15 of your movies. Still. You win. :)

    If I could only pick one, I'd say The Princess Bride. If you'll let me bump it up to 5, I'd add Sound of Music (Alexis will LOVE the singing), American Beauty, Casablanca and Good Will Hunting.

    Ooh, and after reading through the comments, PLEASE say you've seen Dirty Dancing.

  41. So far, out of the movies y'all have listed I have seen: Dirty Dancing, Wizard of Oz, Fight Club, anything animated by Disney (it's a sickness that predates Alexis), and Pretty Woman (in Spanish!).

  42. Anonymous2:58 PM

    I watch tons of movies.... I just can't remember them all. Kind of like books for me. I am always reading something... just don't ask the title.

    IMO watching a movie depends on a persons preference. It all depends on what you like. So I'll list a few that I can actually remember.

    Romantic Comendy - Pretty women, Run Away Bride, Best Friends Wedding OK anything Julia Roberst I LOVE! Ok Non Julia Robers would be 27 dresses, Knocked up

    Action - Lethal Weapon series, Die Hard series, (for my husband) I have to say Pulp Fiction... I found it strange but whatever.

    Comedy - 40 year old virgin (hehe my fav) The Hangover (worth going to the theater for) Inglourious Bastars... (aslo worth going to the movies) Super Bad

    Drama - Family Stone, The Note Book,(I loved the book. The movie was ok) A Walk to Remember (also one of my favorite books both of them were Nicholos Sparks books)

    Ok I've bored you enough... Most likely you are not reading this anymore anyway. haha... Oh make sure your baby girl is in bed or out of the house for most of these movies. Well unless you don't care if she sees or hears stuff. Totaly Your call. ;-)

    BTW Just found this blog about a week again and I love it so far!

    Thank you,
    Jackie (Texas)

  43. @Jackie--I read every word, SO THERE! Heh.

    Thanks for stopping by!

  44. Need to add Shakespeare In Love and A Bronx Tale to the list. You better get the netflix platinum package. If they have a platinum package...

  45. TAken.

    It's recent and it's awesome.. Best movie we've seen in a long time.

  46. Be glad you've never seen any of the Star Wars movies. I've been forced to watch them over and over and over and over ...

  47. Rachel1:09 PM

    I agree with all of the above. My top 5 of all time - 16 Candles, Wizard of Oz, Almost Famous, Fight Club and Once... really, do yourself a favor and watch Once... it's amazing!

  48. For romance? Ever After with Drew Barrymore.

    My only real advice, though? Avoid Quentin Tarentino. Men love 'em, but they won't say way (or can't. I think it's a testosterone thing.)

  49. I'm not a huge movie person, but I've done better than you. I love Dogma ... And Office Space ... and Borat. I laughed until I cried watching Borat. While I recognize it's not everyone's cup of tea, I thought it was genius.

    My husband, on the other hand, has seen every movie up until he went to college. This is because he grew up in a Midwest cesspool where there was nothing else to do.

  50. I could go on and on about it, but I won't. Of the ones you listed, though, Dances with Wolves is my favorite. And not listed? The Jerk. I love it. And anything Monty Python or Mel Brooks. I tend to like either big, epic films, or completely goofy ones.

  51. The Princess Bride and Steel Magnolias are must-see's. Have a box of tissues handy for Steel Magnolias because you'll cry your eyes out, but it's totally worth it. (And I don't usually go for that type of thing.) It's as funny as it is sad. I also highly recommend The Great Outdoors and Office Space.

  52. oh my gosh! You have to see those movies on that list! GET NETFLIX, PRONTO.

    A few must-sees: Dirty Dancing, Dumb & Dumber (honestly, SO HILARIOUS, we quote that movie way too much), Steel Magnolias, The Notebook, Titanic (everyone makes fun of it, but it is a seriously epic movie), Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, Meet The Parents... I could go on and on! :)

  53. My all-time favorite movie? Crash.

    Best story-telling and intermingling of storylines ever.

    However, it is one of those that you need to pay close attention to, which is not likely to happen for you.

    So then my next choice is Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

    Seriously. Funniest movie ever made.