Wednesday, September 9

In Her Eyes

The mind of a 3-year old is full of awesome truths. Alexis will unabashedly tell you if your hair is ugly, she'll speak up if she disagrees with your words, and she observes things exactly as they are. Exactly as they are.

It's been a few weeks since I openly complained about the construction disaster in our part of town. Since then, it's gotten approximately 150325% worse, but oh well. I did get the pleasure of gloating when Mr. Husband had to meet me near my office to drop off a car. He called all lost and confused and all, "How the hell do you get to work every day?"

The answer involves glitter, fairies, a helicopter, a gravel road that TomTom says doesn't exist, and a whole lot of luck. These days the background music to my commute is cows mooing and the screenplay consists of lots of games of chicken between my car and herds of while turkeys. Yes, turkeys. In another month or so, I might set up a roadside stand and start selling fresh wild turkey carcass because I'm sure by then I'll have hit 10 or 12 of the dumb things.

Anyhoooo, Alexis and I were navigating the precarious path between daycare and dance class when we came upon a construction area that has been in the works forever. I started thinking back to my Ohio days and how the scene was starting to remind me of I-76 in Akron. The entire six years that I lived near Akron, many lanes were closed for "construction." I didn't know anyone who actually remembered it ever NOT being "under construction," and I never once saw someone operating a piece of equipment.

Never once.

I had a theory that there wasn't really a road getting worked on at all. Rather, there was an illegal gambling site behind those concrete barriers and guys were spending 12 hours a day drinking and smoking and playing poker. In Pennsylvania the trend seems to be many little projects going on at once, with the idea being to finish a project just in time to start it all over again. Ohio never finishes.

(This is where I know Jayna is nodding furiously. Woot! Kent State!)

Anyway, as Alexis and I drove by, she started asking what was going on. I thought about explaining to her that the site is caught up in litigation (it is), but instead figured I would keep it simple. "They're fixing it, Alexis," I told her.

"No, they're not," she replied.

"Yeah. They are fixing it," I replied. Have I ever mentioned that Alexis will argue about absolutely anything? I predict she will either grow up to be a pop singer or a lawyer. If she doesn't manage to find a high school where the kids spontaneously break out in synchronous song and dance, my money is on lawyer. She's going to be the kind that can trick you into saying whatever she wants, too.

"No, it's not getting fixed. There aren't any men there," she observed.

She had a point. If there aren't people on a construction site actively working, it's not really getting fixed, is it? (Yes, I am conveniently ignoring the part where she has decided only males can work in construction. LALALALALA I like living along the river De Nile LALALALALA.)

I was willing to give her one gold star for that observation, but I didn't really need her to try earning 412 more stars. After dance class was over, she spent the ENTIRE ride home pointing out all the construction sites that were unmanned, and thus where nothing is getting fixed.

"That's not getting fixed neither, momma," she would say.

Like I said, she tells it like it is.


  1. I still have to listen to Mister C tell about how he got a speeding ticket on the highway because he was speeding in a "construction zone" where there has never been any construction going on. His theory is that the state throws out orange cones and reduces the speed limit in odd areas just to catch people unawares so they can rake in the revenue. The story just never gets old (eye roll).

  2. Anonymous12:04 AM

    What is it with Ohio?! I have driven through Ohio no fewer than a dozen times, and each and every time the entire state was under construction.

    I hope Alexis never loses the ability to tell it like it is - it is an admirable quality (though I know plenty of people who would disagree!)

  3. They just don't have enough storage for all the barrels, so they have to keep them somewhere.

    There are roads that have been under construction since I was in high school (Rt 8, I'm talking to you!) and, of course, the one road we travel EVERY DAY to get anywhere has been closed in one direction for an entire year. I've seen people working on it approximately three times.

    Ohio has issues. Apparently, we're rubbing off on Pennsylvania too much.

  4. We need more people who tell it like it is in this world! Oh, and she's not wrong about it being men. The only women you ever see are just holding the "slow down" signs.

  5. @Jayna--OMG. Route 8. I had forgotten all about that horror.

  6. your blogger blog ate my comment


    That kid gets cuter every day. I think you may be on to something with the construction theory.

  7. LOL They really don't bother to lie. Unless, it's for something they want desperately. :D

  8. We have some crazy construction going around here too. But it doesn't sound nearly as bad as the nonsense you have to put up with.

  9. That expression on her face is excellent compliment to your story. Telling it like it is. Love it.
    I agree with her, though. It's NOT getting fixed.

  10. Just keep her away from me before I've had my coffee. I already have one three-year old telling me I look like I need more "joe"

  11. Maybe your "tell it like it is" 3 year old should get together with my "I know everything" 14 year old. They could solve the world's problems!!

  12. arguing daughters just sort of, ehem, make it all worth it, don't they?

  13. oh, lordy...the arguing.
    You mean it doesn't get BETTER when they're 3? Ai. I'm going to need to start Irishing my coffee then.

  14. ARGH, Ohio NEVER ends...and it's not just's 70 and 71 and..and...and...*beats Ohio senseless*

    Huh...and I don't even live there...just driven through it enough to hate it.

    Alexis is right's not getting fixed if no one is working :D

  15. Ok, so that picture? Looks just like I imagine a satisfied lawyer would look after a particularly good closing argument. :)

  16. I think maybe if you get it all on video, post it to YouTube, and send it to the local news channels, perhaps things will start getting fixed again soon.

  17. Anonymous11:35 PM

    Dear Alexis,
    Little lady, you're awesome. And observant. Unfortunately for your observant little eyes, very few construction workers, not even the girl ones, work after 3 PM. Just wait until you see the sites that are being worked on. Ask your mom why 2 men are working and 5 of them are standing around watching. She'll love that.

  18. You MUST steer the poor girl away from law school ... start now before it's too late!