Wednesday, October 28

But I Did Have to Walk Uphill Both Ways to School

I should know better than to trust him.

He has tried to control me.

He has worked to trick me.

He has lied to me soooo many times before.

And yet, I brought TomTom with me on this trip. I depended on him to get me from the airport to the hotel. FAIL.

As I pulled out of the airport parking garage, the GPS advised me to stay left. And again. And again. Ten minutes later, I realized I had driven in a full circle. The TomTom wanted me to go back inside the parking garage.

I don't know what that says about how TomTom feels about Atlanta, but I'm thinking it's not good.

As I went all crazy and defiant and veered right to avoid the parking garage, I remembered that TomTom hates me. It's either that, or TomTom really thinks I'm cute when I'm mad.

When the TomTom told me to turn left down a one-way street? I bet I was REAL cute. Having smoke pouring out of your ears always has that effect. When TomTom told me that my hotel was in a mall parking lot? SO ADORABLE!

Way back in time, I traveled for work all the time. I would leave on Sunday night and run around to three or four cities before returning Friday night. I relied heavily on maps, internet directions, and signs. Never once did I wind up driving the wrong way down a one-way street, driving into a parking garage when I didn't want to park, or navigating straight towards a pier.

As I sat in the mall parking lot trying to figure out which way to go, I thought back to the days of yore, looked up, and realized I had been in that mall parking lot before. In fact, I had stayed on that very street for nearly six months early in my consulting career. I'm blaming the fact that every street in Atlanta is named Peachtree something or other for me not realizing that I was headed towards familiar territory. I blame TomTom for making me take THE REALLY FREAKING long way there.

Life was simpler back in the good ol' days of maps and internet directions.


  1. It's not TomTom Go. It's TomTom No.

    Personally, I'm going agoraphobic. Agoraphobics are homey people.

  2. I think the GPS is sometimes more trouble than it's worth. This past weekend, we were parked in a parking lot and ours started going crazy "Turn left. Turn left. Turn right. You are at your destination." All in a matter of minutes, while still parked. I don't think I trust it anymore.

  3. you are not kidding, in re: Atlanta and the peachtree streets. We were there a couple of years ago and I was trying to give directions to the husband to get to a sushi bar that Gen and I were at (via cab, Chw had our car) and after the fourth peach tree street instruction he said "I'll go in the hotel and mapquest it."

    Party pooper.

  4. I. Hate. GPS.

    The husband insists on taking his parents Garmin on every trip we take. Even if it's to a place we've been ten times. And it always takes us longer.

    I'm a big fan of ignoring the directions just to hear the lady yell "RECALCULATING!" over and over again.

  5. Anonymous1:21 PM

    They should make the voices on GPS sound like Hal in 2001. "Dave, why didn't you turn left?" "Dave, don't you trust me?" "I wouldn't mislead you, Dave." It's just the beginning of robots taking over the world.

  6. I think you should have taken Alexis, given her a map, and left TomTom at home. Much more entertaining that way. :)

    Btw, how is she?

  7. Anonymous4:29 PM

    My husband is BFFs with Tom Tom. Tom Tom doesn't know diddly. But my dear husband knows even less about how to get from A to B. So on car trips we suffer Tom Tom. The children love when he talks in his Picard voice. It's all a conspiracy.

  8. except when those darn internet directions get you horribly lost as well!

  9. @Katie--MUCH better. Still not quite 110%, but definitely better.

  10. I thought I was the only one who prefered maps to the stupid GPS. My husband bought me the GPS for Christmas 2 years ago - I never wanted one and was baffled why he would buy it for me. I've hated it from that moment on. It is never right and doesn't even acknowledge that most of the town we live in exists.

    If I could learn to navigate the 'Burgh with nothing more than a map and lots of curse words, I don't need no stinking GPS.

  11. Giles tried to make me take a ferry once to cross a river. I guess he's not very fond of bridges. For the most part, I love my GPS, but it never hurts to have a backup plan.

  12. I couldn't agree more. Hate those GPS things...don't trust them for a second!