Monday, January 25

Only One of Us Knows How to Act Like a Mature Adult

So, it turns out I have issues and baggage and such. SHOCKER! OK, not really shocking, but birthday parties and the like seem to have the ability to knock 20 years off my life instantly. It's like the fountain of youth over here, complete with the insecurity and stupidity that comes with worrying about party lists.

The last time I had to figure out who to invite to a birthday party, I was about two feet shorter and walking around wearing green knee socks, clear jelly shoes, a pink skirt, and a purple sweatshirt. While you should be very grateful there are no photos of said fashion tragedy, I remember very clearly putting together a list of kids I wanted to invite to my birthday party and failing miserably at it. It was probably my 8th birthday, or so, and the one and only time I ever had a party. Because I screwed up the list. Like, really.

I wanted to invite all of the girls in my class. I listed them, wrote out the invitations, and realized I had one more invitation that I had names. No problem! I would just invite a boy!


I forgot a girl. Just one, but still. She knew I forgot her. I knew I forgot her. She was devastated. I knew she was devastated. There was no patching it or fixing it or whatever. I wasn't even smart enough to ask my parents to bail me out. I just snubbed her because it was easier.

I still feel like a jerk for it. See also: I have issues and baggage and such.

So when it came time to figure out who to invite to Alexis' first ever birthday party, I opened the closet, grabbed all that baggage, and set it down at the table beside us. I would have liked to have invited every single kid at her school, but this party is going to be at our house. As much as I would like to be super nice and avoid drama, I'd also like to still have a house next week. So, that idea was out. Then I thought we would just invite her class, but the darn kid complicated that issue by being smart enough to sometimes hang out with the class ahead of her. Really she's about 50/50 with two different groups. So, I was left with only one option--I made her decide who to invite.

"You can invite ten friends to your birthday party. Who would you like to invite?" I asked her.

Oblivious to the potential future social implications, she started rambling off a bunch of names. I quickly wrote them down. When we got to ten, I looked down at the list and went, "WOAH, WOAH, WOAH." She had named eight boys and two girls.

"Don't you ever play with any girls?" I asked. I really don't know why that mattered, it just seemed weird that a little kid would have been so lob-sided with her gender breakout.

We tweaked the list a little and then we tweaked it a little more. Then I realized I couldn't figure out where some of the kids she had listed had a mailbox at school (as in, I'm not sure one of the kids actually exists), so I kinda sorta substituted a few with kids whose boxes I was able to find. In the end, I felt like we had a pretty good list of the kids that she frequently talks about even when she's not at school.

Fast forward a few weeks and I realized I had not gotten any RSVPs. While I know I am a complete goobernugget about RSVPing for things, I still had that moment of flashing back twenty years to insecurity and drama. What if nobody showed up? OMG. FREAK OUT!

Of course, that was totally unfounded insecurity because the kid is already more popular than I could have ever hoped to be. She's oddly magical like that. People just suck about RSVPing. No big thing.

But then today came and, once again, I had to haul that luggage out of the closet. I checked the email account where I asked people to send their RSVPs AND THERE WERE THREE! I squeed. And then I wanted to punch myself in the face for being such a dork, but I'm really tired and that sounded like a lot of effort.

Thank goodness the kid is completely oblivious to all of this self-imposed drama I'm creating. Maybe by the time she has grown up enough to care what other people think, I'll have done a little growing up myself.


  1. Love the photo. :) She's growing up just fine.

    My boys have always had more girls for friends than boys, even now, at 12 and 15. I choose to believe that they're well-rounded.

  2. ah the birthday party invite list juggling act. oh have I been there! can't wait to hear the party details!

  3. Have a great party! Wish we could be there... ;)

  4. Oh birthday parties....I just thank God that my kids were all born in the summer and can therefore (once they are about 5) have their parties at the pool. I don't even like having my own kids in the house let alone 7 others.

  5. The worst? Try having a child that does NOT eat pizza of any kind, nor did she eat cake of any kind either. Plan a party 'round that!

  6. Ooooh, I hate this. Our problem - since she only goes to a dayhome with four other kids - is which side of the family to invite when we do family parties.

    My side is small, so they always come but Mike's side is HUGE. Both his mom and dad were one of six, so we always have to pick and decide which set of family is coming.

    Sucks. I always end up pissing someone off because I can't afford to have 70 people at a party.

    And if I try to kee it small and invite, say Sawyer's godmother, HER mother (Mike;s aunt) will get offended if I don't invite her. But if I invite her and not the other sisters/brothers, I offend them too.

    NO WIN.


  7. Getting RSVPs for kid's parties is a nightmare. I end up all frustrated every single year with my kids' birthdays.

  8. Anonymous9:22 AM

    Luckily, we have yet to invite a lot of her friends to her parties. It's always family---both sides, although about 15 of them don't make it because they live out of State and The Friend and her husband and their son (he's Morgan's best friend). I think next year or the year after will be when the struggle begins as to who to invite.

  9. Anonymous9:50 AM

    Dude . . . if there is this much hassle and drama at 4, imagine what it is going to be like at 14! (That wasn't the least bit helpful, was it?) Let's just hope the kids that do show up are on the 'acceptable' list in Alexis' book!

  10. Aw man! You should have seen me planning the 5yo's birthday this year. His first ever boys-only party. Checking and double checking to make sure I didn't hurt anyone's feelings. Ugh! I made it so much more difficult than it needed to be. So yeah.... right there with you on this one! Hope the party is fun!

  11. A) I totally understand all of the birthday baggage. I blame my parents- they had the nerve to birth a child during the week between Christmas and New Year's. Soooo many issues created from that.
    B) Don't even get me started about the invite list/RSVP situation for Eva's bday party last year.
    C) The only reason I haven't ditched her playgroup for once and for all is because I'm afraid she won't have any other kids to invite to her bday party this year, and that just makes me sad to think about. Is that bad?

  12. Maybe that's why I don't do parties very often. I didn't realize it was such a huge issue until I read about your drama. Granted, it was hard to read while balled into the fetal position under the desk. Stupid baggage.

  13. Anonymous10:31 AM

    Birthday parties are a NIGHTMARE. I totally get the whole baggage/issue thing. God, do I ever. Aidan just had his sixthe birthday party last weekend. At Chuck E. Cheese, which I actually LOVED. My biggest problem, besides NO ONE FRICKIN' RSVPing, was getting the dang invitations out. Because we had a snowstorm that shut everything down. For like FOUR DAYS. Talk about stress! But it was a huge success and Aidan was THRILLED.The end.

  14. Anonymous10:32 AM

    Sixth. Sorry.

  15. Anonymous11:50 AM

    "If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up, not me!"

    Good luck, lady... party politics stink.

  16. I understand. Except that I was always the kid who didn't get invited which means that I ALWAYS invite too many people. I say sacrifice your house and invite them all. They won't ALL come. Probably.

    Good luck. She'll have a blast. You're a great mom!

  17. Ooh, if you figure this all out before April, you can help me with Gracie's predicament. She has school friends. And friends from daycare/aftercare. And neighborhood friends. None of whom I can be sure will come since I don't actually know most of their families. And it's my first party that won't be a joint part with the Ex. Nervous? Manic? COMPLETELY STRESSED OUT?! Who me? Too bad we don't live close enough to be emergency party backups.

  18. My wife makes herself crazy about stuff like that too. I don't get it. Hope you have an awesome party.

  19. I got to the picture and completely forgot what your post said.

  20. I can think of 2 good reasons for the boy/girl imbalance.

    1) Fewer girls makes it easier for her to be Princess in Charge.

    2)Boys are easier to boss around.