Friday, June 1


One of our most devoted prisoners passed on today. Lizzy Lou, I hardly knew you.

I say "passed on" but I should mention that Lou hasn't managed to pass on out of the house. You see, I am the one that discovered his timely death. As I walked out of the house this morning to go to work, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he didn't look too good. I went up for a closer inspection, and his eyes were half open and his mouth was in "I am Lou the iguana and I am about to maul you with my vicious bite" position. But he wasn't attacking. He was just sitting in the corner. So I did what all responsible women who hate lizards in their houses would do, I left for work.

I made it as far as the end of the driveway then decided I should try to confirm if there was indeed a dead iguana in the house. So I went back in and tried poking him with a hanger. He still didn't try to attack me. You know, because he was dead and stuff. So, I went back into responsible woman mode and went to work.

I pondered whether or not to call Daddy for over an hour. I feared he would try to rush to Lou's rescue. Then I would have three problems.

1.) I would be mad that he considered the iguana important enough to leave work.
2.) If he wasn't dead and Daddy did head home, then I would never hear the end of it.
3.) I thought Daddy would be upset. It's never fun to be upset early in the morning on a Friday.

So I polled my co-workers and promptly did the opposite of their recommendations (never follow the advice of someone that works for a hospital). I called Daddy. His response? "I wish you would've called me right away. It's trash day. Now I have to figure out what to do with him for a week." I guess Daddy wasn't as heartbroken as I expected.

So fast forward to now. There's a dead iguana in the basement that is rapidly shriveling up like a raisen. There's a responsible woman who refuses to touch the thing. There's a Daddy who had a work function and won't be home for a while. Finally, there's a baby sleeping who has no idea anything is going on.

No comments:

Post a Comment