Friday, October 26

Best Experienced Between Regular Business Hours

So last night's Penguins game was sort of a bust, if only because they lost. I'm willing to forgive that little indiscretion, but only because I had a lot of fun. The return home, that part was a little less fun. Every time (OK, all four times) that I have returned home after the Toddler and her Father were already in bed, I have ended up feeling like a teenager trying to sneak in the house past curfew. Trying to get into this house without setting the dogs off on a barking rampage is probably about as easy as breaking into the White House to stick a big "I'm a Dork" sign on the President's back. By some sort of miraculous bit of luck, I actually made it all the way into the house and into the bedroom without a single woof, arf, or growl. It wasn't until I tried to slip into bed that I detected The Problem.

The Problem was that the Toddler was laying in my bed, on my pillow, a good 20 feet from where she belonged, in her own cozy little crib. I have since learned that she had zero interest in going to bed and that co-sleeping was the only thing that Daddy could do to get some sleep himself. Somehow, someway, I managed to slide into the bed and contort myself into some awkward position that enabled Alexis to stay soundly sleeping where she was. Unfortunately, all my contorting woke up Daddy. A chain of events unfolded that resulted in the shifting of some dogs and, eventually, the awakening of the sleeping child.

Apparently someone, somewhere put a new set of batteries in Alexis because she woke up fully charged and ready to go.

"Hi, Mommy!" Roll, jump, bounce, smother.

"Hi, Jasmine!" Run, bounce, jump, hug.

"Hi, Meg!" Roll, smooch, jump, leap.

"Hi, Daddy!" Bounce, smother, hop, skip.

"BABA, PLEASE!" Jump, chug, jump, smother, chug.

"MORE WATER, PLEASE!" Chug, chug, chug, bounce.

"MOMMY!" Hug, smooch, jump, bounce.

Around and around she went for well over two hours. She was oh-so perky, peppy, and pleased with herself. Just thinking about it makes me a bit nauseous. I don't do pajama parties and I definitely don't do perky pajama parties at 1:00 am with toddlers that need to have a mute button installed.

By the way, please don't ask me why I didn't just put her in her own bed. I need sleep to think of clever ideas like that.


  1. Because if you would have picked her up she would have been instantly awake. Any parent knows that. You were simply trying to get some sleep by sneaking into bed.

    Kudos on getting in under the dogs' radar. That alone is worth an award.

  2. It takes a fellow dog person to understand how truly miraculous sneaking in is. I'm still in shock over it, especially given one of them is all Lhasa Apso, dogs specifically bred to alert the world to intruders.