Sunday, October 7

Pictures Really Do Tell the Story

There are times when I walk into daycare and really, really wish I had a camera handy. For example, every time that I have ever picked Alexis up during nap time. I quite simply cannot wrap my brain around the fact that they get 20 one, two, and three-year olds to nap simultaneously AND for more than ten minutes. A photo of that would allow me to stare at the image over and over, as if I were admiring one of the seven wonders of the world. That is certainly one of the wonders of my world.

Other times it's OK that I don't whip the camera out because the image of what I see is permanently seared into my brain. The time I walked in on Barbie time immediately comes to mind. There were at least 30 naked Barbie dolls laying in a pile, many of them decapitated or missing a limb. Their clothes were scattered over a four-mile perimeter. It seemed the toddlers were taunting the naked Barbies with thoughts of being fully dressed. One toddler would start to put an article of clothing on a Barbie and another toddler would grab that Barbie from her current keeper, causing some sort of dismemberment. Then the second toddler would start to dress Barbie, only to have a third toddler come along and rip Barbie away. The end result is an image I won't soon forget--a pile of vacant-eyed, skinny, blond, dismembered, naked dolls with permanent smiles affixed to their faces.

Then there are the times when I walk in and am immediately told, "You have to see this picture." Camera phones are a handy invention. Last week a camera phone provided the evidence I needed to see that Alexis has taken her pleas for a brother or sister public. Behold Exhibit A:

Now, I can already hear Grandmas and Grandpas across the country saying, "Well, give the girl what she wants. Bring on more Grandbabies!" Let's get one thing straight right this second. No. No. No. and No. I am not so far gone from those many months of pregnancy misery to have forgotten just how miserable I was. Also, I am 100% aware of the fact that nobody gets this lucky twice. Alexis is undoubtedly an "easy" child. That won't happen again. I imagine that our next child (should there ever be one--a very, very long time from now) will be the polar opposite of Alexis. That thought alone is enough to make me start looking for the best bridge to launch myself from that will almost certainly guarantee an escape from the horrors of a less-cooperative child.

So Alexis has been not-so-subtly hinting at her desire to have a baby in the house. Her current strategy is to demonstrate just how helpful she could be. She carries her dolls around all over the house, giving them bottles to drink, changing their diapers (well, sort of--usually they just end up naked), giving them lots of hugs and kisses, pushing them in the stroller, and even feeding them.

Even I will admit, it's a pretty good strategy. But it ain't gonna' work. So Alexis, please focus your energies elsewhere. You can have all the babies you want in about 30 years.


  1. shell8:54 PM

    omg that baby doll is almost as freaky as the human like dora.

  2. You've gotta give her credit for trying. See what a good little mommy she is?

  3. Shell--Dora is freakier, trust me. But I would pay her $50 to play with any one of her other 72 dolls. Every one of them is less scary than THAT one, which happens to be her favorite (of course).

    Rocking Pony--I totally give her props for being a good Mommy. Except when she slams her baby's head against the floor because she LOVES the sound it makes.