Tuesday, November 27

Things I've Learned in the Past Week

- If you thought it was a wee bit embarrassing when your Toddler screams "Mommy potty" while using a public restroom, it will be exponentially more embarrassing when she yells "Mommy pooping" and someone a few stalls down, as if on cue, unleashes some sounds that you didn't know could come out of a human being. And then everyone sees you with the Toddler at the sink and thinks you are the disgusting person.

- You should never, ever step on the crack between an elevator and the floor outside. Instead, grasp tightly onto the wall, as if hugging it, and carefully step as far as you can across the threshold. Don't worry about the door closing because Mommy will hold it, thus irritating all other elevator passengers.

- If you thought it was gross when your Toddler went digging for buried treasure in her ear then promptly stuck the shovel/finger in her mouth, wait a few minutes. She will wait until you've forgotten all about the incident, start sticking her tongue out at you in hopes that you will follow suit and then will swipe her nasty little earwax-covered finger down your tongue. Mmmm . . . I know you're all jealous you didn't get some of that.

- Bulldogs do not like to wear coats, but they will if it means they can stay warm.

- Restaurants do not give out purple crayons. I know this because I save all the crayons Alexis gets when we eat out and stuff them in my purse for future use. (The girl LOVES to color.) After months of doing this, we still don't have a purple. I realized it yesterday when I really needed purple to finish my pretty picture.

- It's not a good idea to allow your Toddler to fall asleep in the car then wake her up when you get to the hotel. If you do it four nights in a row, she'll think that she's supposed to wake up in the middle of the night and will continue to do it long after you return home.

- It's really fun to run through the halls of a hotel. It's even more fun to yell while you run through the halls. Mommy will join in because if you're going to pay to be somewhere, you might as well have as much fun as possible doing it.

- Whatever this thing is that Alexis has caught, it's kicking her little butt. If she's not fever free all day tomorrow, she's going to have to go to the doctor. Germs suck.

- You can read Ten Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed as many times as you want, discussing the dangers of jumping on a bed each time; it won't make a difference. When you put cousins together, they will jump on the bed. Repeatedly. At least none of these Monkeys fell off the bed:

(Thanks, Ashlee, for the Monkey photos!)


  1. Oh, you have the cutest monkeys ever! Jumping on the bed- while totally dangerous- is so much fun. I really like the lessons you have learned...especially that bathroom one! It is so much fun when you are potty training and in the stale with your kid and they yell out all kinds of things or when they hear someone else and say...what was that noise? who pooped? or any other random thing...oh, kids, crazy- entertaining- tiring- but so fun. I love the picture of Alexis in the hallway! Running anywhere is so much fun- no matter what your age!

  2. So much fun! I'm so jealous, snotty earwax...

  3. Ashlee11:37 PM

    You're welcome! :)

    I took Tyler to the doctor yesterday - he had a fever of 103.3! Whatever it is, it's kicking his butt too.

  4. I am lovin' the Monkeys! And I agree wholeheartedly about the earwax issue. From my own personal disgusting experience.

    Twice. Blech.

  5. I think it's genetically wired that kids must jump on the bed. No matter how many times I tell them not to, whenever Bubba and Punkin are playing in Bubba's room they always end up on the bed.

    Love the bulldog in the puffy vest! She looks very stylish!

  6. Okay, reading Monkeys on the Bed only gives kids ideas. "Hmmm, jumping on beds DOES sound fun. No wonder those monkeys did it!"

    And the poop thing is SO embarrasing, but not quite as bad as it could be. I read something yesterday that had me laughing all day. Gotta love toddlers.

    Meg seriously needs a Steelers sweater. She'd love wearing that.

  7. Ashlee--I'm so sorry she spread her love to Tyler :-( I figured it would happen, but it would have been nice if it hadn't.

    Pam--They are some cute monkeys. I have to admit that I'm a fan of jumping on the bed, too. I just wish kids would wait until until they are a bit more coordinated to do it.

    Shellie--I can package some up and send it to you, if you'd like. I'm sure Alexis can dig out plenty to appease you.

    BTW, I will spell your name correctly from this day forward. I apologize that I'm an idiot and can't get it right. Although, in my defense, people always tell me wrong when I ask. I guess I should have asked you!

    Jenny H--Ha! It's good to know I'm not the only one that knows what it's like.

    Madame Queen--You're right. Jumping on the bed is a skill all kids are born with.

    The Bulldog has a whole wardrobe of clothiing. I'll have to whip out her Diva sweatshirt sometime. I would never put clothes on our Lhasa Apso since that would just be a sissy thing to do, but for some reason clothes work on a Bulldog.

    Karen--I've been trying to find her a Steelers sweater or jersey since we got her. I can't find one that fits anywhere. Something about the big chest but short torso that just doesn't conform with fashion industry standards. ;-)

  8. My two older ones learned the jumping on the bed lesson early in life. One had a deep cut near her eye (a scar now) and the other was bleeding on the top of his head. 911 brought two ambulances just in case.

    Never again did they do that!

  9. Kidzmama--I'm jealous that yours learned their lesson. Alexis actually fell off the bed a little over a year ago when she thought it would be a good idea to chase the dog. She ended up fine (after screaming and holding her breath until she passed out then going to the ER) and apparenlty took that as a sign that she should resume playing on the bed. The next day.

  10. Anonymous4:09 PM

    my pitbull too has a large wardrobe. My husband thinks it's ridiculus (SP!) but what can I do, the dog's a sissy and shivers whenever the temp drops below 60. That and she looks so fetching in her pink tutu

  11. That's exactly how Meg started obtaining her sweatshirt and sweater collection. If she wasn't such a sissy and didn't shiver anytime the temperature drops below 50 degrees, then I wouldn't torture her.

  12. My husband taught the moosh to shout "EWWWW" whenever I pull down my drawers in a public restroom.
    Toddlers are the best cure for pride God ever thought up.

  13. Moosh--THAT is awesome. I might have to come up with a twist on it to use on my husband.

  14. LOL!
    This was such a fun read!!! She is too cute!

  15. That is too cute! At least my kids aren't the only monkeys in the world! LOL!

  16. Ashlee10:12 AM

    That's okay... I told him that's what happens when you kiss girls. :) Maybe he'll learn his lesson! (I can hope, right?)

  17. Do you still need a purple crayon?