Sunday, January 20

You Need to Know

- The Toddler has determined the best way to wander the house at night without having to fear what the useless watch dogs will do: Yell "Mommy" over and over and over as you walk around. Useless dog #1 and useless dog #2 recognize that shriek no matter how sleepy they are. The smart one hides when she hears it.

- The not-so-smart one has had her breed rise to the Top 10. This is not a good thing. Bulldogs are not an easy breed to care for at all and over-breeding would be disastrous. While Meg is certainly the sweetest dog of all time and makes a Lab puppy look evil, she is high maintenance. Our pup is rare in that she has very few allergy problems (it's not unusual for a Bulldog to need a special diet or to be on numerous allergy meds), but that doesn't stop her from having the "nose thing" that they all have. That wrinkly cuteness about her nose is a dark little crevice of skin on skin. Think about where you have a dark little crevice of skin on skin. Now think about what would happen if you didn't clean it every day. Much stinky, no? That's what happens if you don't wipe out the butt crack on her face as well. It gets moist, stinky, and just plain gross pretty quick. And if you let it go too long, it will turn into an infection. To make it more interesting, it's rare to find a Bully that doesn't mind having it's wrinkles cleaned out. A 50-pound bowling ball with legs can put up a serious fight if it wants to.

Anyway, if you're thinking of getting a Bulldog, do your research. Make sure you are OK with the worst-case scenario because that might just be what you get. Then research breeders until you are blue in the face. If someone is asking less than $2000 for a puppy, I guarantee that you are asking for trouble. If price is your deciding factor, I strongly suggest you rescue an older dog so that you know exactly what you are getting into. On a related note, a Bulldog breeder would only sell a puppy to a pet store if they knew they couldn't get top-dollar for the pup on their own. I have never seen a Bulldog puppy at a pet store that didn't have obvious genetic problems.

- Another Public Service Announcement: If you STILL have Jingle Bells or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer as your cellphone ringtone, please change it immediately. The next time I hear it, the calendar better say November or I'm stealing your phone and throwing it into the river. I won't feel bad if I have to punch you to get the phone out of your hands either.

- The Toddler has slept through the night four nights out of the past seven. The whole thing is quickly leading me to believe that the best form of torture for terrorists truly is to lock them in a house with a bunch of Toddlers. If the screaming and chaotic insanity of the day doesn't get them, the sleepless nights most certainly will.

- Old Navy currently has all their clearance marked down an additional 50% off. I found three pairs of pants, a t-shirt, a sweater, and five pairs of socks for Alexis today which cost a grand total of $23. Score one for the cheap Mommy!

- Alexis turns two in exactly one week. I have zero plans so far. Procrastinate much? Why yes, I do.

(Sorry for the craptastic posts two nights in a row. I'll be more on my game when I have a bit more time. Oh, and the photo is reflections refelecting on reflections. Cool, no?)


  1. OMG That picture is Plato! Reflections of a reflection , reflecting! OMG. I know that because I'm back at school! Shoot me.

    Ummm. You just convinced me to a) Stand tough on the decision not to get a dog.
    b) Get the heck over to Old Navy.
    c) Check to see what song my phone is playing these days. I honestly have NO idea.

    Not bad for a single post.

  2. Which is why, exactly, I don't own a bulldog. Much as I covet one insanely. I don't have the patience for the endless snoring, farting, slobbering and health problems. And yet I love them and WILL own one someday, when I'm retired and have no kids to wipe, clean, train and medicate.

    We normally take a weekend in the Burgh over my b-day to shop clearance sales, hitting every Old Navy we come across. This year we did not. We've scored entire wardrobes for 4 children for under $100 that way. This is truly the weekend to shop.

  3. Oh, I procrastinate a lot too. Drives my husband up the wall sometimes. ;)

  4. Way cool photo. :)

    We have relatively easy dogs - Australian Shepherds. When our first one passed, we looked at all the other breeds but had to get two more. Really, their only downside is the triple coat of fur and the shedding. Can't do slobbery dogs.

    Glad you're back in the game! Sleep will do that, huh?

  5. Craptastic . . .I love these posts. Oh, as for Christmas anything, I was so close to threatening my neighbors about their Christmas lights--it was time they GO.

    And, just went Old Navy this weekend--we are so on the same page!

  6. visiting from Mamageeks....

    We have a French Bulldog, the gas kills me...makes my toes curl up and want to crawl into a dark corner!

    very cool shot that last one is!

  7. Our bulldog, Baxter, is the picture of high maintenance. I mean, you won't find a sweeter dog, you just won't. BUT, I swear that if his ears are stinking from an infection, his butt is....from endless gas.

    Thanks for the heads up on ON. Will go.

    Love the pic.

  8. *crosses bulldogs off list**

    Cool photo! And also? I have Old Navy gift cards!! Woot!

  9. That photo is awesome.

    Yay for 4 nights of sleep. I agree about locking the terrorists away with Toddlers. Supreme torture that would be.

  10. How funny that I saw the Bulldog thing & almost sent it to you. I love your PSAs. Keeping Americans informed since 2005.

    I would so love to see you throw a cell into one of your rivers.

    You haven't started planning? Need help? I'm almost set for my tyke's mid-April party.

  11. Anonymous7:45 AM

    The photo is cool :)

    We had to clean our Bully's rope everyday. Even missing one day and dear LORD did it reek!! Jimmy's Mom is a Bully breeder (she raises and shows them, too) and her puppies NEVER sell for less than $2500. She just sold a female with champion lines for $4000. I'd love another one, but Too stubborn, too high maintenance, the noises they make (not really much fun at 2am) and did I say stubborn?


  12. We almost got a Bulldog several years back. A friend of my dad's breeds them -- his original dog was somehow related to UGA V (the GA Bulldog mascot), but after doing our research we realized that they do require A LOT of work and that's why we didn't get one.

    Could I get you to come down here and lay the smackdown on a co-worker of mine whose phone still rings to the tune of "Santa Baby"?

  13. so...i have a meme for you. not sure what it's called so i made up my own name for it but, it's over there...on my blog. and, check back later cuz, i'll have something else for ya!

  14. That looks like shes a ghost in that picture!

    As for torture, I totally agree and who could say it was really torture with all the cute little toddlers running around?

  15. You totally crack me up! ;)

  16. you are so funny...
    I think you may be right about the terrorists and toddlers... Completely so!

    And I agree 100% in re: to the cell phone rings... (And Christmas lawn decorations!)

  17. I need to go to old navy!

  18. Okay, so...

    No bulldog when the fam finally convinces me to get a dog.

    Terrorists would crack under the pressure of the 8 month old in my house.

    My lame, non-musical ring tone is cool with you even if Isaac thinks I am not cool because of it.

    You and I can be procrastinating friends. We seem to thrive on it.

    Your photo talent abounds. THAT is a cool shot!

  19. I agree with the bulldog thing. We have our second one. Our first was rescued from the pound and had already had ACL repair at the age of 2. She was adorable, 75 lbs. with 73 of that being in front. From behind she looked puny, but you wouldn't mess with her if you saw her from the front. Our second one we got at a reputable breeder and her health is 100% better, but the wrinkle stench is unbearable! ugh.

    I think your next post should be YouTube video of you throwing cell phones into the river...popular here, popular on YouTube for sure.

    Excuse me while I heat up the minivan to stampede to Old Navy.

  20. red pen mama3:01 PM

    oooh, the girls just received Christmas gifts (yeah, we're a little behind on the friend-exchange front) from Old Navy, and I think they have to be returned for the next size up. Can't wait to go, now!

    I will never own a bulldog after reading this post. Not that they were on the top ten dogs-to-get list (I want to rescue a dog when the girls are old enough), but they will forever be removed from consideration. I'm glad you have a good one, but that description. Honestly, it made me gag a little. :)

    Which river would you be throwing said phones into? Just curious.


  21. I love thinking of Alexis going through the house yelling 'mommy!" So funny....I can so relate to the dog issue..just makes me crack up.

  22. Anonymous4:40 PM

    I love that picture.

    "A 50-pound bowling ball with legs can put up a serious fight if it wants to." I would love to see a video of that. I'm just sayin'...

  23. Woo hoo on 4 nights of sleep! I hope it gets even better.

    Thanks for the tip on Old Navy. I will make a point to go soon. Oh, how I love sales!

    I love bulldogs, but they are even more work than the beagle we have. She does have allergies, and it's such a pain. One of the allergy issues manifests as issues with her anal glands. Oh, fun times. We have to wipe her butt regularly with baby wipes. Some day, the only butt I wipe will be my own. Some day...

  24. Thank goodness I don't have a Rudolph ringtone! Phew!

  25. No Macy's, but Penny's and Sears do it for me. I can't afford Macy's anyway. My hubby wants a bulldog so bad (just because he went to UGA) but I just can't stand them! Sorry, I know you have one. I'm not areally a dog person, but I finally caved to a Golden Retriever, and she sheds like a b*tch! And I agree to the ringtone thing, but I have an even bigger problem with people decorating and stuff too early! My office mate, whom I love, put pink and red doily hearts all over everything like the 2nd week of January! Yeah, not a fan... Take care!

  26. I've got to get my butt over to Old Navy - those are some awesome deals!!!!


  27. I'm still laughing at the butt crack on the fact comment....yeah, I'm silly like that.

  28. That picture is sooo cute! And I really feel ya on the "sleeping through the night" thing. I can't remember the last time I got 8 solid hours. I bet it feels sooooo good!!

  29. Oh my, 4 nights in a row? She's mocking you and teasing you. Tonight she will get up 101 times by midnight. Oh wait, that's my life.

    Love the deep thoughts by Jack Handy shot. :)

  30. whoa, I must go to Old Navy!

  31. Wow, way cool pic. And great finds at Old Navy.

    Yay for 4 nights of sleep!! I won't cheer too loud. No need to jinx it.

    Oh and procrastination is a skill.

  32. I am not much of a dog person but when I was first married I said, "sure, honey, you can get a bulldog" thinking he'll never get one from the rescue center and we can't afford to buy one. Two weeks later we had "rescued" one. Ugh. For someone who hates slobbering, this is not the dog to have. Also he had an eye problem that I had to put stuff in his eyes for every weekend my husband traveled and other ailments I choose to forget. After our oldest was born, my DH chose to give him to a good home because the time and medical costs were just too much. Oh yeah, the dog humped legs like nobody's business and actually had part of his manhood amputated because he rubbed it too much sliding down the stairs when he was a puppy (with the prior owners). I'm appreciating our beagle more and more now!

  33. That is a wickedly cool picture!

  34. My phone was playing "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" but I changed it just for you ;)

    I totally agree about putting the terrorists in a house full of toddlers. Why has no one thought of this before?

  35. thanks for the PSA on bulldogs...I have a friend that wants one so bad yet he doesn't listen to me when I tell him that really, they don't do stairs terribly well...they don't do breathing terribly well...they don't do standard dog food very well (and he's a cheap bastard...he feeds his current dog "whatever" instead of opting for a highly nutritious food that isn't chock-full of chicken butts and corn cobs). My husband and I LOVE them...but since my cousin had one and we saw his health issues and such, we opted for the pseudo-bulldog, the Boston Terrier. ;) Same snorting, snory, smooshed-face loveness, just a way healthier dog.
    oh, and if I didn't spend so dang much at Costco, I'd be right there at Old Navy. I may still go there under the guise of b-day shopping and might actually get away with it...hmmm...