Thursday, February 7

The Girls Have Been Up to No Good

For about a month now, the dogs have been doing the unthinkable--they have been obeying commands from the Toddler. Sit, come, stay, suddenly they do it all for her. The whole time this has struck me as really odd.

I taught both pups a number of commands when they were young and easily bribed. Jasmine (aka "The Smart One") knows sit, down, stay, roll over, beg, come, shake, gimme five, and play dead. Meg (aka "The Not Smart One") knows sit, down, speak, stay, and come. If I am the one giving the commands, they obey approximately 92.836% of the time. However, if Mr. Husband is giving the commands, the percentage drops significantly. Obviously, they know who the real boss is around here. Either that, or they fully realize that they need to stay on my good side if they want to continue to live here.

Now, if they won't listen to the guy that feeds and walks them, why listen to the short one with the chipmunk voice? You know, the one they could eat if they were to decide she looks tasty? I wouldn't really say that they "like" her. They tolerate her, and I suspect that they only do that because she has extra holes in her face that cause her food to drop to the floor all the time. Seriously, why obey her?

I think I found the answer tonight. I was making dinner, which any parent of a toddler can tell you is an, um, let's call it an "adventure." In my house, one of two things happen: either the Toddler does her best to use me as her personal tree house, or she disappears upstairs doing heaven knows what. Tonight was one of those nights when I didn't have a clue what she was up to. As I was debating whether I preferred to have my knees used as rungs on a ladder, or to find that the Toddler was putting giant powder fresh "stickers" on the bathroom wall (again), silence caused my curiousity to get the best of me. Given the fact that our house still isn't what I would call Toddler-proofed (we're waiting until she's a teenager), that was probably the right choice. Especially since I discovered a dirty little secret:



A while back, I baked a poo-load of dog treats. I had originally intended to sell them on Etsy (totally organic, peeps!), but never quite got around to photographing them. Then I stopped having the time for such crazy endeavors. So I figured I would ship some to a few friends and feed the remainder to our dogs. In the meantime, I just stuck them all in a big bag. One day when I was cleaning, I needed to move the bag out of the way and set it down in the hall. And promptly forgot about them. A few days went by and the bag did what all things around the house that are out of place tend to do, it became invisible. Despite walking by it all the time, I completely forgot about it.

Alexis must have discovered it. She, of course knew what the treats were. Apparently, she started doling out treats to the dogs whenever I wasn't paying enough attention. The bag? is over half gone. The dogs? have been bribed into compliance.

Two mysteries solved. I now know why the dogs listen to the Toddler more than they do Mr. Husband AND I know why Meg has been stinking the place up even more than usual, if that's possible.


40 comments:

  1. Oh, that is awesome, Alexis. You are Silly Billy Burgh's Silly Billy Burgh Baby. And, the subversion? WOW. Why didn't I think of that!!!

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  2. For about a year my son was afraid to go upstairs by himself. He started bribing the dog, with treats, to go with him. It got to the point that every time any of us would head towards the stairs, the dog would automatically come with us.

    Smart kiddo!

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  3. She's got everyone wrapped around her littlest finger. What a brilliant little pre-teen.

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  4. mom to many10:08 PM

    If you aren't going to sell the treats on etsy can you share the recipe? And good on you Alexis for knowing how, instinctively, to get them to follow... a girl after my very own heart...

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  5. Aww, that is so funny and so cute!

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  6. I'll post the recipes this weekend. I have two that the girls have declared winners.

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  7. Smart little girl. Who knew "the way to a man's heart" applied to doggies too!

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  8. I've made treats before and the dogs loved them, but they spoil so quickly. Do you use preservatives at all? What's your trick?

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  9. This idea? Totally how I get my boys to do anything! :)

    (Ok... I do actually use people food since they're.. you know, people. But the constant bribery with things? Works everytime to get the dishes done!)

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  10. She is definitely too smart for her own good!

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  11. I'm so glad to know that Punkin isn't the only toddler out there who orbits around mommy's knees as she's trying to cook dinner.

    Hey, at least Alexis wasn't sneaking her table food to them! That's where I thought the story was headed.

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  12. UGH!!!!
    Feeding the dogs in our house is a big no-no for everyone but me (because our kerry has food allergies). But when family comes over I always catch one of my neices doing it (or sometimes their parents).
    I'd be so mad.
    I'm still trying to figure out a dog biscuit recipe mine both can and will eat.

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  13. You would think at some point that kids would learn they need to keep making noise when they are doing something they aren't supposed to. The "quiet" thing gives them away every time!

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  14. That's great :) I love the shot of Alexis on her belly feeding the dog!!

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  15. Madame Queen--She does that, too. It gets her in trouble every single time, but it doesn't stop her.

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  16. I love your child and I love your dogs. I would be feeding that bulldog anything he wants whenever he wants it!

    Hallie

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  17. AAAWWW, she's just too cute!

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  18. That is adorable! She is so smart. I know a couple little dogs at my house would would LOVE to have a sneaky treat dispenser.

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  19. HAHAHA!!!!! That is too funny!!! And you were also wondering why the dogs kept gaining weight. Hmmmm.
    Hilarious!

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  20. What a smarty! Next thing you know she'll be teaching them some new tricks. At least she's not eating the treats. But since they're organic...

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  21. I seriously love Alexis! She is so smart and cute! And those dogs are smart too, kissing up to the treat-giver!

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  22. HAH! She's ahead of the game! Wallace has only recently started saying, "Mommy, I need to give de dogs tweats".

    He has two devotees now.

    Alexis is so cute. I love the pictures.

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  23. That is AWESOME! And I am happy to learn that my children are not the only ones who like playing with 'stickers'.

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  24. Oh that terrible silence. She's one smart cookie!

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  25. Oh, how funny! Alexis is one smart little gal! Those pics are so adorable!!!!

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  26. That is awesome. Alexis is one smart cookie - she knows how to make friends!

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  27. that is hilarious! But I bet your dogs aren't minding! :)

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  28. thats kinda funny
    you never know what they're gonna be up to.

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  29. I'm surprised Alexis didn't tell you she was feeding them treats! My kids would have been annoucing it from the rooftops. Well, at least no harm was done,...except for the gas that is! Funny! BTW, the panda outfit is adorable!

    Lizzy

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  30. yup. bribery is next to godliness...

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  31. Justin once caught Gavin sharing the stash of potty-training-bribing M&Ms with Ginger. Thank goodness they are milk chocolate and she didn't seem to have any ill affects. Since then, he'll occassionally start doling out treats to the dogs...and we don't know until we see each of them flying past us with a bone, rawhide, or big ol' biscuit in their mouths.

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  32. ROFL!!! Could be worse....She could have eaten them all ;)

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  33. Oh that Alexis is a smart one! Great pictures!

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  34. Whenever I buy dog treats my 3 year old empties the whole box in the dog bowl.

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  35. I love how seriously she takes the task to overfeed her dogs!

    Apparently, she is now their alpha dog, all three feet of her!

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  36. Good GOSH you are in trouble!

    She is clearly BRILLIANT and already knows how to use her smart little girl powers.

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  37. OMG...you have been outsmarted by 2 dogs and a toddler! I am frightened for your future...

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  38. wow, she's a SMART one! :) hehe

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