Wednesday, March 26

We Joined the Pickle Club

I need only type one little word and dozens of people will know exactly where this story is going. Everybody has been there at some point in time, some of you even recently.

The word: bath.

Know where we're going yet?

Just in case, allow me to set the scene.

I was in Alexis' room this afternoon doing a little cleaning of the new and improved saltwater aquarium (which, I'm proud to say, is about 90% mother trucking worm free--100% is an unattainable goal, so I can live with 90%). Daddy was giving Alexis a bath. He has been charged with bath time for many, many months now and it is a task he enjoys. Except, he's not very good at remembering to stay in the room with the Toddler that is immersed in water. It has a little something to do with the fact that she can play in the bath for hours and a lot something to do with his utter and complete lack of an attention span.

So, he wandered into Alexis' room to supervise my work. He was generally being a pest when I heard them.

The Noises.

You know . . . The Warning Sounds.

Mr. Husband has one of those Man Filters in between his ears and his brain, so I knew he didn't hear and/or recognize the sounds.

So, I said, "Aren't you supposed to be making sure Alexis doesn't drown herself?"

He muttered and made excuses and blah, blah, blahed. In the midst of his procrastinating I heard the confirmation.

"I pooped."

Mr. Husband didn't hear it.

He walked into the bathroom and tried to be slick, "Come here."

I responded, "I'm doing something."

"You need to see what your daughter is holding in her hand," he said.

"No, I really don't," I replied.

And that is how our streak of 2 years, 1 month, 29 days, 23 hours, and 17 minutes of poop-free baths came to an end.



(The photo is from three weeks ago. I wasn't about to go look at the scene in the bathroom, let alone photograph it!)

66 comments:

  1. Did you ever see the WW I did on the pickle subject? And, that is so like a hubby to be in charge when it happens. Congrats Alexis, you've passed initiation.

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  2. LMAO.....

    You should STOP reading my blog. I swear it will bring you only chaos. It is karma-ish like that.

    The photo... priceless!

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  3. AFF--Sadly, I have seen your photos. Here's the link for anybody that hasn't.

    OhMommy--Can I just say I'm SO glad I didn't leave you a comment rubbing it in that it hadn't happened to us?

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  4. Bwahahahahaha!!!!! I can say that we never, with three children, had a poop in the tub event. Smeared all over the walls because the baby was bored and couldn't get out of the crib? Oh yeah. But no Baby Ruths!

    Oh, and I have the ADD man-brain which hears and notices nothing. Drives my Hunny nuts.

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  5. LMAO!!!! I can't believe that you made it over 2 years without poop....Riley poops in the tub more times then not....at least Mr. Husband had to deal with it.

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  6. I was scrolling down as I read this, squinting more and more along the way. Until I finally realized you didn't photograph it.

    Thanks for that!

    This is too hilarious. (To me, of course, b/c I didn't have to shove it down the drain/scoop it into my palm and flush it). I sure hope you had Husband do damage control.

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  7. HILARIOUS. My hubby got a kick out of that one as well.

    But that was a great streak! I am surprised it lasted so long!

    What is really fun is when they have a stomach bug. Yeah, REALLY gross.

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  8. Oh my dear...I knew EXACTLY where you were going, right from the get go.

    All I can say is welcome to the club!

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  9. Oh wow - holding it in her hand, huh! I'm always afraid that I'll find mine that way when I come in to get him from nap time...so far so good - on bath time too, but I know it's only a matter of time.

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  10. I was completely poop free with MA, Diva only did it once I think but Peanut has done it to me more times than I would like to count. The last time she did it was when I was coming down with the flu. She and Diva were in the tub. I went to get MA some Advil when I hear Diva yelling. I was worried Peanut was drowning, but instead there were many floaters. I pulled her out of the tub and tried to clean it up while keeping her from running around on a slick floor naked and not burn herself on the space heater. However, she was not done and twice I turned around to clean up additional droppings! (Hubby was out of town and MA was sick in bed so I was on my own.)

    I really hate giving baths.

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  11. Dying! :-)
    Monkey has put Monet and Picasso to shame with what he can do in a poopy bathtub. It's rather disturbing.

    I loved this.

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  12. I don't know . . . that photo looks like a post-pooping facial expression to me. You sure you didn't take it after the incident?

    You haven't lived until you've cleaned poop from your wall. That's all I have to say on the subject.

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  13. Ew...I like your tub pictures better than AFF's...ew, ew...it will happen to me one day, I know it. So far, we just have peeing in the tub...it's funny with a boy.

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  14. First of all - welcome to the club!

    I love the Man Filter! haha And the pretending to be completely unaware of what's happening. And subtly trying to get you to come in to clean up the mess so he wouldn't have to deal with it. Can you tell I've been there?

    And congrats on eradicating so many of those Mother Truckers.

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  15. The things we blog about! Man filter, lack of radar, tuner on another channel, all the same they are.

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  16. That little angel?

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  17. oh my gosh, you are absolutely hilarious!
    Sorry your streak came to an end.

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  18. LOLZ. I didn't know it was called the pickle club. Hopefully my streak will last at least as long as yours.

    Heh.

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  19. Ews. I am currently knocking on wood as I write this, but this has not happened to us just yet. I don't know how we have escaped it for so long with three boys.
    Well. Nothing a good bar of soap can't fix, right?

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  20. the never-ending joys of parenthood...

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  21. haha and just like I thanked Oh Mommy I will thank you too for not posting pickle pictures! LOL I think it's awesome that you got your husband to take care of it. Mine would be gagging and running out of the room as fast as possible.
    Kennedy takes baths with Keeghan all the time, and she's never pooped in there... in the past few months she's taken 3 baths with Kameron. Three. And she's pooped every. single. time. Kameron will no longer take baths with her. I can't figure out why. LOL

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  22. oh honey thats not very much of a celebration! :)

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  23. Man filter. That is the best description ever!

    Sorry about the poopy bath. Does it make you want to smack me that we never had that happen? Pee, yes. Poop, no.

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  24. the pickle club??? that's hilarious.

    really -- four kids and a step ...and i have never heard that expression before.

    and fortunately it also has been a long long long looooooong time since i had to even THINK about that. heh

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  25. BWAHAHAHAHAHA..."I pooped"!!!!!! In the bathtub. Good for you for NOT taking the bait and going in there! And I think that picture fits the situation just perfectly. Can I just say right here and right now that I hope you are still blogging in, like, 13 years? Because the stories are gonna be REAL interesting then...

    What a hoot that kid is :)...

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  26. Hilarious! And thank God that hasn't happened to us!

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  27. I love the importance of poop at this age. My niece will call me up on my drive home from work and this is the dialog
    Cass: What'cha doing Maddie?
    Maddie: Noffin. What cho?
    Cass: Just going home from work
    Maddie: Meetings?
    Cass: Yup, a big one. What you do today?
    Maddie: Big Poop today.

    There you have it.

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  28. There's something for you on my blog. :)

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  29. Doesn't he realize you have to CONSTANTLY monitor them for just such occurences at this age??

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  30. Oh, yuck! We're yet to get there, because my kid poops like clockwork, every morning at 10 am, thankfully far way from 7 pm bathtime.

    And bathtime has always been Daddy's thing. It's such a great way for them to be goofy and bond and they both love it.

    Plus, I get to check blogs while they leave me alone for 30 minutes. :)

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  31. EWWWWWWW! I hope you made him clean that mess up.
    We thankfully have not had a poop in the tub. Maybe we missed that stage. I hope so.
    And isn't it SO strange how men do not hear certain things. Amazing really.

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  32. ew...

    We've had tub poop. But it was breastfed new baby poop...not baby ruths.

    Somehow actual turds are nastier than assplosions.

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  33. Bathtubs and kiddos...natures enema!

    Hallie :)

    Can I borrow the bully for my band? I think he'd class up our gigs. Or he can do security!

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  34. Oh, man,...having a flashback, and it's not pretty! :o) The 'ol pickle in the bathtub! At least Alexis told you what she did, it would have been worse if Dad had discovered it on his own lurking amongst the toys and bubbles! Kuddos to you for being "busy", you're my hero!

    Lizzy

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  35. Man filter...heh! They're born with those, did you know that?

    All three of my kids have pickled the bathwater. You never really get used to it.

    The picture, pre-pickle or not, is perfection!!

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  36. I guess it's only because I actually got through 3 kids without poop in the bathtub that I never knew it was called a "pickle"! And now I read it twice in two days...your post and OHMommy's post. Weird.

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  37. Ew, grim! I do not miss the bath poop days - although, thankfully mine never mistook it for a pickle. I fear the day that the wee boy is bathing with a brown pickle, though. That is going to be a totally different story.

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  38. Have you called Guinness Book of World Records yet? Because surely your long streak should get you in the book.

    We've had it happen twice in our 2.5 years.

    I'm really hoping we'll never experience it again.

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  39. LMAO! And I thought it was a boy thing. As soon as son's arse hits the warm water...well, you know...out it comes. It makes for a very painful bath time, having to fill the tub, put him in, take him out, drain the tub, wash the tub, fill the tub, put him back in the tub, wash him, take him out of the tub, and drain the tub.
    So now...I use the retractable shower head...I no longer fill the tub, and I wash him like he is taking a shower.

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  40. Are you sure it wasn't a Snickers bar? ;-) (Please tell me you get the reference.)

    I love the "Man Filter."

    And was she actually holding it? EWWWWWW!!

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  41. ImpostorMom4:03 PM

    eww, code brown, code brown

    Alas we joined that one long ago. I prefer not to remember it enough to count the days.

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  42. Sooner or later, this ALWAYS happens.

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  43. Oh man! Okay, we've had a clean record all this time too....Now I live in fear :(

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  44. Welcome to the Pickle Club!! ;)

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  45. I love your name for it!!!

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  46. OH! But she is so proud!

    And yes, my daughter did it too. when she was two.

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  47. I have been lucky enough to escape this so far. I love that you refused to go look! Difuse that man filter.

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  48. Ugh. Somehow I've escaped this, but now that I've said that I know I'll get it soon.

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  49. Reason number 12 that my kids take showers!

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  50. "You need to see what your daughter is holding in her hand"...this put me into stitches!!! OMGoodness that was way toooooo funny! I have been a member for years now and didn't know what it was called! Oh..dang...thank you for that!!!!

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  51. I have those memories.... hehehe.. but fortunately... they are now FAINT memories.... for my children are now older and THANK GOODNESS... potty trained!!

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  52. I finally got you on my blog roll too! Totally stalking you now! ;-)

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  53. Oh I wish we had made it that long! I experienced it once early on...then my hubby had the joy a couple of months ago (never occurred to him to pick her up and hold her over the toilet).

    Glad you didn't have to deal with the aftermath!

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  54. Um. Two days. He was eight days old. Second bath on record. First the pee . . . then the poo. We laughed.

    We laugh no more . . .

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  55. Welcome to the club! I joined when Sophie was right around that age too!
    Visions of bill murray and baby ruths are running through my head btw!

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  56. WOW, you made it a loooong stretch! ;)

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  57. ROFL! I can honestly say that my boys never ever did that. I don't know how I got so lucky because I hear stories like yours quite frequently.

    Did Mr. H actually clean it up? That would be even more fun to read about! LOL!

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  58. Ewww, I'm praying that doesn't happen here again.
    Hope your husband cleaned it up!!

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  59. Congratulations! You must be so proud. Another moment for the scrapbook...

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  60. now THAT is friggin' hysterical!!!!!
    We have a post when Gavin did it when he was around like a year or 18 months or something. Truly gross, but at least his was a bit more, um, able to go down the drain.
    countin' down to the day that Cooper does it. Should be interesting if he does it while him and Gavin are both in the tub together!!!

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  61. OMG that is SO FUNNY!I am glad you keep sending us to these older blogs.I haven't been blogging long so I just love going back and reading peoples older blogs.That and I just love to LMAO.

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  62. Oh, I hate that. I hate poopy baths. especially because our stupid bathtub doesn't have a detachable shower head and it's a bitch to clean up.

    I am assuming Mr. Husband got the honor to clean up this time :-)

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  63. Well written article.

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  64. Love the picture! My daughter, when she was an infant, always pooped in the tub! Even if she just pooped. I think we're done with her cycle.

    Now, I'm sure kiddo #2 will do the same!

    And, yes, hubbys are deaf unless you are talking about food, beer or tv!

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  65. Oh the poop in the tub is THE worst!! I hope you made him clean it up!

    Thanks for linking up today. : )

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