Thursday, June 26

The Return of the Fish Tank of Horrors

Three weeks went by. A whole three weeks in which nothing bizarre happened in the Fish Tank of Horrors. Then, I went and opened my mouth (well, technically fingers) to Trannyhead, and you know what happened.

A new kind of bizarre.

First of all, how about a couple of updates?

Belly and The B*tch (the maroon clownfish): I had full intentions of returning The B*tch, really I did. She was all bagged up, with the bag just floating in the tank, carefully rigged so that she would get fresh water and manage to stay alive. All I had to do was whisp through the house, grab her bag, and whisp down to the store. I figured I would do it tomorrow. And a day passed by. I thought, "tommorow." Then another passed by. Then yet another. And a few more after that. (I'm really good at procrastinating.) Then a weird thing happened: she figured out how to escape. And? She did not tear Belly to shreds. Apparently, spending a week in a plastic bag taught her to cool her jets. So Belly and The B*tch are now co-existing in the Saltwater Fish Tank of Horrors. They still don't like each other, but rather than acting like a couple of gang-bangers, they now act like an old married couple. Every once in a while they cross the line and end up in some sort of domestic dispute, but mostly they are OK. I think that means that Belly has grown a pair of cajones, but it's not like I'm about to personally inspect his nether regions and confirm.



The Worms: Have vanished. Like, totally. The last time I saw one was about two weeks ago, and I caught that bugger and let it die a slow painful death. I attribute the disappearance of my biggest obsession to two things. For one, a while ago I figured out where a large number of them were living and picked off over a dozen in one day. I enjoyed every second of it, too (imagine maniacal laughing--yup, that's me!). Around the same time that happened, we bought a new fish named Darryl (he is a Strawberry Pseudochromis). Darryl is a known worm eater. He was the fourth in a long line of attempts at buying a worm eater, but he has managed to survive. The worms have not. BWHAHAHHAHA!

Speaking of Darryl, here he is:



In front of Darryl is the newest addition to the Fish Tank of Horrors. That white squiggly line on the glass appeared on Tuesday. Upon close inspection, I realized it was eggs. Yes, EGGS. Cause, you know, I absolutely needed to have eggs magically appear in the tank when I had no freakin' idea what put them there.

Of course, I did what anyone would do when faced with a emergency fish tank mystery on their hands, I asked Dr. Google the marine biologist. First he told me I was smoking crack if I thought they were shrimp eggs (wishful thinking, and not of the edible sort--when I wishful think of food, it involves chocolate). Then I thought, hey, maybe Belly and The B*tch have been getting it on when I wasn't looking. Old married couples do that once in a while, you know. Sadly, that also was not the case. I scoped out whether or not it could be worm eggs (shut up, Mr. Husband, I don't need to be told worms don't lay eggs, I figured that out). Nope.

(Wanna know how the worms reproduce? Of course you do. Little pieces fall off of them and become new worms. YUMMY!)

Finally, it dawned on me. Who in that tank actually spends time on the glass? The snails of course. A few clicks later, Dr. Google confirmed that we do in fact have snail eggs in the tank.

I know, that doesn't seem all that horrific.

But! What if all those eggs survive? Is it going to be like snailapalooze in there? Will they take over the tank? Will they figure out how to combine forces and lift the lid so that they can escape and wreak havoc on the Toddler's room? While she's sleeping? Or, will the eggs hatch only for the fish to decide they are hungry for escargot? None of the above?

Only time will tell.

53 comments:

  1. Oh girl. Google the mating habits of those snails. That's a lot of eggs. You might want to scoop out most of them.

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  2. I'm with flea. Scrub, scrub. Gone!
    Glad the bag time out worked to "cool her jets" ha ha! That's great.

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  3. oh! ew! mini-throwup!

    And Alexis is all "escargot? in my ROOM? YUM!"

    (I am NOT telling you what I initially thought stuff was on the glass...well, at least not in comments because you know I.can't.shuttup.)

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  4. Ok, this is a total gag festival. Those eggs really REALLY creep me out .. . you must MUST remove them and chuck 'em. Or else you'll end up in some sort of horrible cycle of worm reproduction and snail reproduction . . . I'm not sure how the worm reproduction fits into this, but it must.

    Now I do have one question . . . now that the hideous worms are gone, what is the new fishy going to eat? In some sick twist of fate do you now have to buy MORE worms to feed him? Maybe he eats snail eggs . . .

    Eww - just writing the phrase "snail eggs" made me barf a little in my mouth.

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  5. Will the fish tank horror EVER end? (hopefully not...they make great blog stories!)

    Ummm...squiggly line of eggs? NAS-TY!! 1 snail, fine. 2 snails, buddies. Eleventy sixty seven snails? They likely start a revolution, take over the couch and the remote and the bed, and you get banished to the basement with the fart dog and an air mattress.

    Good luck with that!

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  6. anglophilefootballfanatic.com10:39 PM

    Get rid of the snails fast. We even used clorox on a tank to destroy them once & they still came back. They are almost worse than the worms, I'm thinking.

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  7. Anonymous11:10 PM

    Seriously, death to the snails. My husband got 5 for our koi pond, and we now have about a thousand. I do not even exaggerate a tiny bit. He has resorted to sneaking buckets of them down to the retention pond down the road in the dead of night (and we still have a thousand).

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  8. ok, you are TOTALLY winning the fish tank horror competition.

    all my fish do is cannibalize each other.

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  9. Shhhh...be vewwy, vewwy quiet. Baby Shell is trying to whisper something to you. She knows the SECRET about the snail eggs, and she really wants to tell you. Because she knows that when she does, you will crook your finwer at her, even if it urts, and whisper "Dank you" in her ear...

    BWAHAHAHAHA. I'm not sure, but that smile Alexis is sporting makes me think she's in cahoots with the snails...

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  10. I thought fish tanks were supposed to be soothing and relaxing? My blood pressure went up just reading about yours! Too much drama and anxiety...flush them all!!!

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  11. I just remembered that I never want a fish tank.

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  12. Just about time I think that maybe, someday, in the very distant future, I might want fish - BAM! you bring me back to reality.

    I'd kill those eggs. I'd scoop them out and put them in a bag of water and mail it to Mr. Neighbor.

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  13. YIKES! Those snail eggs look super gross! I agree with the others who said pitch them, bleach them, flush them just get rid of them. Snails are very gross. Good luck with the newest problem in the tank.

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  14. never a dull moment with that tank. Makes me want to run out and get one. Then again, I think I'll stick to the discovery channel.

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  15. You know that the only things to survive a nuclear holocaust will be cockroaches and snails, right?

    At least you've only got one of them. You still have a chance.

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  16. Tranny Head, stop telling her that it is okay to talk about this stuff!

    I'm with everyone else, get rid of the creepy egg ribbon. That is just nasty.

    I will NEVER eat ribbon candy again.

    And if that was in MY fish tank (you know, if we had one)? Oh HECK YEA I would post it too...

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  17. I hate dealing with non-furry critters - I don't know how you do it. Although, why I keep getting hermit crabs, I'll never know. I think we had a casualty last night and I am putting off dealing with it until the kids leave for the day. Yuck.

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  19. I say it's going to be Escargot for the old married couple. Be a sweetheart and drop in some garlic and butter so they can do it up right!

    Hallie

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  20. at least that fish tank creeps me out less then those baby dolls......

    the mental image of those snails marching across the room all in a line....ha ha ha!

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  21. Ya know...dogs are easy. Yeah, they have to go out and all, but they don't nomrally spontaneously multiply...;)

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  22. The Fish Tank of Horrors really needs it own theme music now.

    Also, thanks for the egg picture. I need to go barf now.

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  23. Eggs? Bye bye. ASAP. Seriously. A friend had snail eggs in her tank and it got so bad, she gave up and had to drain the tank and start again.

    I am seriously reconsidering wanting a salt water tank. It seems like far too much work :)

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  24. Can you sell the snails to a fish store? Or better yet, the eggs?

    That is a great picture! What a cutie!

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  25. I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that about worms. Yuck.

    And as for those eggs? I think they need to go. The thought of that many snails just gives me the weirds.

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  26. Well, congrats on the fish not killing the other fish! And the worms disappearing! But all those eggs? Maybe you should just get rid of them all...

    You have steered me away from ever owning a salt water tank. No way could I deal with it all.

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  27. ImpostorMom9:20 AM

    I am simultaneously mesmerized and horrified by your fish tank. At least I know I'll never want a salt water tank. We're fine and dandy with our one little betta in a 2-gal tank. :)

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  28. You have convinced me to NEVER buy a fish tank. I could never stomach all the crap you have so far.
    I'd rather have my dogs that make stinky farts.

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  29. snails are horrible and almost impossible to get rid of.

    Did you know, that back when we kept fish tanks, the snails go so bad I actually bought a blue-tongued skink so I'd have something to do with all of them?

    Yup. And he never went hungry. They are that bad.

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  30. Yuck! First thing I thought - FLUSH! If it worked for nemo...

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  31. Hopefully that worm eating fish likes snail eggs. If not then your screwed....you'll be huntin' snail instead of worm!

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  32. I've killed off most of our fish. The large goldfish was the latest after I bought a defective filter to replace the underperforming one. We are down to two - both of which we've had for over a year. The longest-kept, Red Sox, is now at least 2 years old and probably towards the end of his time span.

    No tears this time, tho!

    The wee one wants to get an oscar next... I don't think he realizes what they eat.

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  33. I've killed off most of our fish. The large goldfish was the latest after I bought a defective filter to replace the underperforming one. We are down to two - both of which we've had for over a year. The longest-kept, Red Sox, is now at least 2 years old and probably towards the end of his time span.

    No tears this time, tho!

    The wee one wants to get an oscar next... I don't think he realizes what they eat.

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  34. Seriously, if I was Alexis I would never sleep in the same room as that fish tank....I see couch time in her future...and maybe yours, too! ;)

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  35. Anonymous12:22 PM

    eeeks!

    dunno why that double posted.

    :-(

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  36. I bet you didn't sign up for this reproduction experiment, huh?!

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  37. I'm so glad those worms are gone. Now, if only I could make those freaky baby dolls disappear from online... Maybe your next obsessions will freak me out less...

    I love Karen's suggestion for what to do with the snail eggs! haha!

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  38. Oh, and I LOVE that pic of Alexis! Might be one of my all-time favs!

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  39. Who knew fish tanks were so educational?

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  40. We have snails too--yuck and double yuck!

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  41. Yikes! You have an Animal Planet thing going on in there...You are so brave.

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  42. That pink fish is cool looking. I hope our snails don't have eggs....ewwww. What an adorable picture of your little one!

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  43. I don't know I think it's kinda cool really. Even if for a short time, something different you don't see everyday in your tank or on a blog.

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  44. Better than frogapalooza.

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  45. Ewww...I don't know which is worse the worms or a whole tank full of snails?! I agree with everyone else. Dispose of those snail eggs asap before they take over Alexis' whole room! Glad to hear the clownfish chilled out.

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  46. Snail eggs put human eggs to shame. They have so much PIZAZZ!!

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  47. we ended up with a million-kazillion snails in our old fish tank. that was lot of flushing!

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  48. I'm sorry. It must be said. Eeeeew. Snail eggs? Eeeeeew.

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  49. p.s. I've got something for you at my place.

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  50. Oh my. And I was eating a bean burrito when I started reading this. Definitely done with that now ;-)

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  51. I had a fish tank a few years ago. There was always something reproducing in there. Sigh...

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  52. I am so loving the virtual fish tank!

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  53. Haven't read ahead so now I'm waiting on pins and needles to find out if your snails took over the tank like my friend's did. Oooooh. this could be bad. Very, very bad...

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