Saturday, June 21

Wanna Fight About It?

I am forever telling Mr. Husband to quit arguing with the Toddler. I understand how it is that he ends up in verbal sparring matches with her--she is, in many ways, a miniature version of me. Given that the man seldom manages to win a battle with me, it only makes sense that he would turn to my mini me for a little entry level competition. But really, arguing with a two-year old is about as pointless as trying to convince a wall that it should move over a a foot or two.

Tonight, however, I found myself being the goober who felt the need to try to move walls with the power of the spoken word.

Alexis is full-on in that stage where kids do whatever they can to avoid going to bed. Every night she asks for umpteen drinks of water, she discovers six or seven babies that need to be in her bed so that her little slumber party will be complete, and she is forever dragging out the reading portion of the goodnight festivities. I always declare early in the proceedings how many books we will be reading, and count down as we go through them. Tonight needed to be a Rapid Fire Tuck-In, so I went with one book as the magical number.

"Alexis, we get to read one book tonight," I warned her.

"No, not one book."

"Yes, we are reading one book," I said.

"One," she started.

"Yes," I interjected.

"Two. Three. Four. Five."

"No, we are reading one book," I replied.

"We read six books," Alexis said.

"No, one."

"Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven."

"Why do you keep upping the number of books we're reading?" I asked.

"Reading nine books."

"Alexis, we are reading one book."

"No, we're not," she said.

"One."

"No. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten."

"I'm glad you know how to count, but we're only reading one book," I said.

"We read more."

This went on for over ten minutes, with her expectations continually rising.

I don't know how long it took me to realize it, too long for certain, but in the time I spent arguing with the Toddler, I could have read pretty much every book in this house.

I am such a goober.

32 comments:

  1. I think you really should invest in that copy of Olivia now. Olivia gets 3 books. I convinced mine three was the maximum allowed and anytime he argues, I remind him Olivia gets that many, too. He's never argued since.

    Is that a princess on her tummy?

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  2. Hehehe...she gotcha again! And that is a beautemous...ummm... headwrap, perhaps?...she is sporting. BWAHAHA!!!

    Hard to believe we get so excited when they learn to talk and count, huh? Man, the kid's already got street smarts. Lucky you. BWAHAHA!

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  3. ugh...the dreaded book fight! Sad thing, we're such lousy parents that we have used the "no books" threat as a way of, ahem, coaxing better behavior...but it always works.
    Just wait until she fights with you about brushing her teeth (again)...great fun sitting on a three year old while heavy with child, forcibly brushing his teeth (this was a year ago...I'm not hiding any announcements).

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  4. As I laugh, isn't it interesting how us 'mature' people can be taken in so quickly by a two year old?

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  5. LOL I swear kids come programmed with negotiation skills! We should put them on a phone with a bank robber, he'd come out with his hands up in no time! LOL

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  6. So you mean the arguing, IT ONLY GETS WORSE?

    And bedtime only gets worse too?

    Crap.

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  7. What a smart kid! Argue for long enough and she will accomplish the same goal as having multiple books read to her - delay bedtime.

    I remember with my oldest that the bedtime routine took forever! But as she got older, it just dwindled down to a story or two and that was it.

    Now my youngest? Her bedtime routine is the shortest in history. One story and she declares "night night". We actually sometimes try to ADD books to story time because we feel doesn't get enough reading. I don't know why she is like this - probably because she was the 3rd kid.

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  8. I'm dreading the day that Evan realizes we're not actually reading the books. He gets one book at bedtime but we "read" it twice. The first time we really read it, but the second time we just skim through pointing out the pics.

    A lot about our lives will change when we can't trick him anymore!

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  9. So now Alexis is wearing headwraps to bed? she is too cute. I love 'watching' the way her mind works through your writings. She's an intelligent and devious little critter ;-)
    Princess loves her nightgown, because Snow White Rocks. Just FYI

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  10. The Olivia book series, rocks. They're fun, easy and quick to read. My Princess adores them!!

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  11. What is that on her head? Her shorts? She is looking at Snow White like, "How the heck did you get there, and where is Dora?"

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  12. "Choose you battles wisely" has become the motto around here . . . and yet I still engage in verbal sparing with my toddler at least once a day! I hope the Disney princesses catch on - at least there is a wide variety of them . . . and none are big-headed-Latina chicks with monkey sidekicks.

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  13. She is too cute in the Princess gear! I love Princess- just don't tell my kid or she will want even more stuff!

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  14. I'm laughing so hard, my tummy hurts.

    Mostly, I laugh, because I can totally relate, but it's funnier when someone else falls for it hook, line and sinker.

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  15. The kid never fails to impress me.

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  16. Oh look! She's a princess!

    It took me a long time to learn to counter with, "If you're going to argue, we won't read any. Goodnight." Nearly always works.

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  17. And it only gets worse. I was just telling Sam today that the kids don't do half the chores they're told to because by the time the argument over the job is finished I could have done it myself.

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  18. I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one who falls for those tricks. If I could get back all my goober moments at the end of the day, I'd get so much done!!!

    What IS her head?

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  19. bedtime battles ...

    *snicker snorfle guffaw*

    oh, sorry. were we talking about something??

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  20. Yeah, but she is pretty cute.

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  21. Dude - how do you NOT argue with her? Do you just ignore her when she counts up to 100 and read the one book or do you just say "if you keep talking about it we're not reading any?"

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  22. So how was it, reading the 6,942 books?

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  23. Arguing with a toddler makes me want to bash my head in. So does arguing with a 40 year old man.

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  24. I see my future here (minus the snow white nightgown). It ain't pretty.

    I had an arguement last night with Sasha about what kind of "nanas" he was going to eat for dinner.

    Nothing says pointless like a verbal disagreement with someone who's vocabulary is that small.

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  25. I can't tell you how many times I have been arguing with my kids only to have my husband mutter, "who's the grown-up again?"

    That usually works.

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  26. God help me when Bean does that. I get the whole, "I need a drink." or "My toe hurts"

    FUN!

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  27. I too have stock in kleenex for my goober moments....want one? You'll need a couple more!

    Um, is that a princess I see on her nightgown??? Where's the spicy margarita? Doesn't Boots like his ball anymore?

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  28. Oh boy. This does not sound like a fun phase. I'm sure it will be really long for us. I'm trying to head it off by always reading only three. And she still fusses when I stop. I was hoping it would improve with age. Hmmmm.

    Love that nightie and hairband! She looks like a princess.

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  29. Play deaf...it always works. They keep asking and asking and you keep ignoring and ignoring. Sometimes I will put earmuffs on....this works too, cause not you not only play deaf but their voices are muffled to a fairly decent level.

    Then we switch from whatever was driving me crazy at the time to "I want to wear the earmuffs!"

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  30. Fastforward 12 years:

    Alexis, you need to be home from the movies by 9:00.

    No, Mom. 10:00.

    9:00

    10.11.12.

    Alexis, you know your curfew is 9:00 on school nights.

    10.11.12.1

    Why do you keep...

    I'm spending the night at Her Magesty's

    Not on a school night.

    Goodnight Mom

    Alexis, you ... hey come back he.. grrrr!! She and I are going to have a long talk when she gets home tomorrow!

    ... Yep, It's a'comin'!!! LOL!

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  31. yep she pretty much had you on that one. THey're jsut that good. Sis used to do that with songs. I'd rock her & she'd tell me which song to sing. I'd say only one but part way throught he one song she's say "umm, not that song, sing "xyz"song." and it would go on like that so I never technically sang more than one song. She was good too.

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