Sunday, June 22

The Official Day of Waiting Your Turn

I'm all about not rubbing in all the fun the Burgh Moms have when we get together, so I won't mention the circumstances under which Alexis and I found ourselves at the Pittsburgh Zoo yesterday. *cough SO.FUN! cough* I do, however, have to mention that among the attendees was Gina and her two kids, who I have named Her Majesty and The Prince. Her Majesty is an important part of the story that explains just how it was that yesterday became the Official Day of Waiting Your Turn. The Prince needs mentioned because I plan to clone him in miniature form, tuck him in my pocket, and take him with me everywhere I go. He is one useful (and cute!) little man.

So, Alexis is continuing her I'm Too Shy to So Much as Make Eye Contact with You Phase. It's really a joy having a 30+ pound kid glued to your body with her face buried in your armpit. Really. It's even more of a joy to have a 30+ pound kid decide that she's not real fond of being told what to do by someone twice her age. The more Alexis decided to loosen up and actually acknowledge the existence of some of the other kids at the Zoo yesterday, the more she realized that Her Majesty was irritating her. You see, Her Majesty had the nerve, no the AUDACITY to tell Alexis she couldn't go up on the super big and probably toddler crippling slides in the midst of the massive play area at that Zoo. When Her Majesty VERY politely told Alexis they had to stay on the smaller slides, Alexis had a cow.

A very big cow.

From that moment forward, if Her Majesty so much as glanced at Alexis wrong, Alexis turned into Tattler McTattleteron. She would come running to me, in tears, rambling about whatever it was that Her Majesty said. It was ALWAYS something that was very much so appropriate for a 4-year old to say to a 2-year old. Her Majesty may rule the kingdom, but she's doing it in a very polite way. The worst of Her Majesty's so-called offenses took place on one of the smaller toddler-sized slides when there was a whole gaggle of kids waiting. My little angel just sort of toddled her way around a few kids all the way to the front of the line and started to go. Her Majesty very politely told her, "You have to wait your turn."

Alexis had TWO cows. She blubbered and whined and moaned about how horrible and no-good Her Majesty was for being so awful as to have suggested that people should take turns when going down the slide. Alexis was not very amused when I told her that Her Majesty was RIGHT. You SHOULD take turns.

Fast forward to about half an hour later. We were patiently waiting in line to pet a deer. Alexis was still a little ticked off by being told by TWO people that you have to take turns. I was chatting to her about how nice people take turns and we have to be nice because it makes people happy and look! it's almost our turn to pet the deer! See how nice it is to wait and let everyone have a turn! It's going to be our turn next! Just wait another few seconds!

And then it happened.

They happened.

A gaggle of teenagers most certainly old enough to know better went plowing through the line, right in front of us, shoving kids aside and posing so that a woman who very obviously gave birth to at least one of them could take a photo.

Alexis had A Fit. A Royal Fit.

Really, I can't blame her. Why should she have to wait turns if other people don't do it? Gina is posting more about the gaggle of teens (her name for them is much more appropriate, but contains words that I try not to use here), so I'm going to leave it be. She'll be able to do the multiple fiascoes that followed much more justice than I can. Besides, she has photos of the brats and their so-called role model. (See, Alexis? That's why you have to take turns. Otherwise, somebody somewhere is liable to blog about how rude you were and they just might have very un-flattering photos.) I can guarantee you that the next time a gaggle of teenagers comes plowing through a place and their mother stands by and lets them? I'm going ballistic on the mother.

I suggest y'all teach your kids to take turns so I don't have to get all Angry B*tch on you. I mean, c'mon, I'm trying to teach my kid to be nice.

(BTW, somewhere along the line, Her Majesty was able to overcome the snob that is my child and the two of them became best buds. In fact, Alexis was asking to play with Her Majesty this morning, right after she asked, "Where'd Gina go?")


  1. Yep! That definitely would have ticked me off! Little brats! Grrr.

    Great pictures! Looks like everyone ended up having a good time anyway. :)

  2. I would have lost it with them, seriously.

    And the photos? Much cute!

  3. fun pictures. now i have to go check out gina's accounting of the story :-)

  4. Teenagers suck. There better be some sort of handle on this out of control teen epidemic before our kids get there or someone will have HELL to pay.

  5. Great pics!! Apparently Gina hasn't posted it yet. :-(
    Dude, all I can think of is that little Full House kid saying ' how Rude' except it coming out of Alexis' mouth instead.

    I am jealous of all you bloggers that have other bloggers living nearby to play with. *humph*

    Happy Monday hon.

  6. OK, so I need to point out that even though that photo looks like I am getting ready to punch someone, in fact I am not. Although I wanted to puch those teenagers.

  7. Love all the pics.

    And yes, teens can be rude. Really rude. I think it's a right of passage. They ALL do it at one time or another. I think even I did it.

    Please don't hate me!
    Hallie :)

  8. Oh I know my 3 year old would act exactly the same way. She gets SO shy around strangers..even though you would think that the 3rd child would be the most unafraid!

    Glad you had fun! I think...did you?

  9. Anonymous8:11 AM

    I'd have had a tough time swallowing some words for the kids that busted through the line.

    Love the pictures--all 3 kids are super adorable :)

  10. Um, did you just blow off the other attendees because you didn't mention them and they aren't in any pictures? And, what I really want to know is, how crowded was the zoo, and is it safe for me to go back?

  11. aw I'm so bummed we weren't able to go! Always drama when the Burgh Moms are out! lol

  12. Oh man, more of that exclusive fun!
    It looks like lots of fun!

    I've totally been that "parent" even before I was one that reprimanded misbehaving teenagers. I had to do it the other day at our neighborhood playground. It's moments like that, where I'm reminded that I'm not cool anymore, but that's ok!

  13. I hate living in Ohio.

  14. Anonymous9:40 AM

    Oh, it burns me up when that kind of thing happens. And I say something about it, too!

  15. Well we missed out on a great time. My kids were learning that day, too. It was about commitment and responsibility.

    I'm not sure if I should congratulate you or punch you for not telling that troop of overgrown tots to go wait in line. The nerve of them!

  16. That is so funny. If that should happen again my bet is on Alexis and Her Magesty taking those kids on and learning them a thing or two about manners...

  17. Love the pictures.

    I'm always having issues with teens at our local playground. They are forever butting in where they don't belong. Go smoke pot or something under the bleachers. Man! ya' know?

  18. few things:
    1. Did anyone else, just for a split second, freak out with first pic of the ape and go, "WTH happened to Alexis????" before they realized that it was animals in the first few shots?
    2. Where's the Prince? I wanted to see said little boy who might be getting placed in your pocket.
    3. Did you see Justin's post about Rocknoceros? Besides the hysterical video footage, he mentions his 32 lb ankle-bracelet. Gavin still is painfully shy...and probably will be until high school or college, like I was. It's going to suck to carry around a nearly-grown man. *sigh*
    4. love the shot of the polar bear (not to take away from the shots of the kids, but uh, none of those were from UNDER THE WATER!)
    5. what happened to all the cows Alexis had? Did you just donate them to the zoo?

  19. From: Greta

    To: Burgh Moms

    One free can o' whoop ass. Good for use on other people's assholey teens.

  20. Oh my, you're becoming a serious Burger! First, a couple of months ago, you used the word "jagoff" and now you wrote a phrase using classic Pittsburgh grammar: The Prince needs mentioned . :-)

    The force of the Pittsburghese is strong. Mr. Lemony and I were both born in Pittsburgh (but met in Chicago) and we still catch each other speaking Pittsburghese sometimes. Just the other day, Mr. Lemony suggested we go dahwn-tahwn.

    I had a cow.

  21. I am the QUEEN of flipping out at pre-teens and teens who don't act appropriately in front of my child.

    I'm sure Little Man thinks I just hate all teenagers.

    Which, he's actually not too far off from the truth.

  22. Snot nosed little punks! Teenagers can be stinky. And in a few years I will have my very own. Please tell me he won't be that kid. Please.

    Your zoo shots are fabulous. Is it bad that the gorilla sort of reminds me of a hairy version of Jon? YEa, it is. Sorry honey.

  23. I have a teenager and they really I think teenagers are gods way of paying us back for all we did when we were teenagers. LOL

  24. OMG, it is too bad that we were not able to go. We'll have to try and make the next one.

    Boy Child is not very (shall we say) tactful and would certainly have put the teens and their mom in their place. Remember, ADHD and waiting your turn only go so far, once that barrier is broken look out. You would have had great comic relief from that episode.

    Glad the weather cooperated for you all!

  25. The older I get, the easier it is to step up and speak up. Politely. While seething. Grrr.

  26. Whoa. That would have been fun to have been part of. Even if we'd tried to make it, we never would have been on time, though.

    Hopefully in August...

  27. he he - isn't that so typical of girls? If you can't defeat them, join them ;-)
    I love the photos of your visit to the zoo!

  28. And I always THOUGHT you THOUGHT I has flaming hot nipples!!

    Hallie :)

  29. ha! The nerve of those kids! I would have been annoyed too and probably would have said something.

    Very cute pics :)

    I can not wait to go to the zoo this summer! Although my little guy went last week with the sitter. He called everything "doggie." I guess we need to work on our animals!

  30. Okay so you didn't let Alexis open up a can of toddler whoop ass on them? I so would have.

  31. See ... because I'm not a nice person I would have been all "Well, Alexis, some people are just plain rude and they don't know how to be nice and wait in line" loud enough for them to hear it. I probably also would have added something like, "You see, their mommies never taught them how to behave" for hte mother's benefit.

  32. Glad Alexis got over it and make a new friend. Those are great pics!

    I totally would have told off those teens, but I'm like that.

  33. What fun! Looks and sounds like Alexis warmed up pretty good to the other kiddos!

    I hope those teenagers have brats for kids someday too, just like their mothers.

  34. girls! *snort* thanks for sharing your pics :D