Wednesday, July 2

If at First You Don't Succeed, Ignore Your Mother

My softball game was an early one tonight and the timing of it all made it necessary for Mr. Husband and I to do a roadside kid swap. So, Alexis and I were driving down the road on our way to meet him (I was the one steering and pushing the gas pedal, just in case you were concerned) and she decided it was time to start working on her rider for when she is a famous performer of some sort. She was running through the list of all her demands.

"I want strawberries."

"I wanna watch Dora dance." (She was referring to a specific DVD that I wish we didn't own. Major eye and ear bleedage right there.)

"I want milk shake."

"I want book."

"I wanna watch movie."

"I want apples."

"I want Signing Time."

"I want French fries."

I'm a special brand of crazy, so I interjected, "You want French fries? I don't think so, honey."

"No, I get French fries," she replied.

I said, "No, Daddy is going to make you dinner. It probably won't be French fries."

"No, I eat French fries," she replied.

"Why is talking to you like negotiating a hostage situation? No French fries," I retorted.

"I eat French fries," Alexis insisted, "and after I watch Dora Dance."

How nice of her to start using the concept of time as a means to plan her entire day. I don't know exactly how it happened, but the kid has suddenly integrated "before" and "after" into her lexicon, effectively turning one of my main ways of getting MY way against me. She wants to watch Sesame Street? I tell her she can, right after she finishes picking up all her books. I am not amused that I'm now the victim of this tactic. This was supposed to be a one way street.

"Alexis, you're not eating French fries and you're not watching Dora Dance. You can have some strawberries and then you can color, though," I told the little terrorist.

"No. I eat French fries and after watch Dora Dance."

Right about then, I managed to get Mr. Husband on the phone. We negotiated a meeting place based on our current locations. The best place for us to meet?


Guess who got her French fries?

Even better, when I got home from the game, Mr. Husband told me some of the things that Alexis got to do over the course of the evening.

She watched Dora Dance.

Moral of the story: If you say something enough times, and to the right person, you will get your way.


  1. OMG thats what happens here too. If I say no the kids wait til Im busy and go ask the daddy turns out hes a big ol' softy and gives them what they want. Boy am I paying for that now!!

  2. Daddy? Is TOTALLY wrapped.

  3. Those kind of conversations make me crazy too.

    At least she isn't saying what my daughter says:

    I NEED French Fries

    I NEED Ice cream

    I NEED to watch my movies

    (Or I will fall on the floor with uncontrollable tears and tell everyone you hit me)

  4. yep.

    that's all. just ... yep.

  5. You had me at French fries.

  6. lovely...
    the right person is definatly the key.
    And hey, guess what mom? tomorrow you will be doubly wrong and no nothing! fun.

  7. Man is she good . . . does he even know what hit him? (And clearly hits him on a regular basis?)

  8. Sounds like something that happens here at our house.

  9. Why are daddies such suckers?? What is the point of any of our hard work if they are just going to blow it out of the water? The big one in our house is TV. I barely turn the TV on with the girls. We play or color or go outside or read books. DearDR's default is TV. He sneaks in some extra sleep I think.

    Oh well. I think Dads of girls are especially helpless. As a former daddy's girl myself, I understand. :)


  10. That is a pretty common occurance in our house too. Daddy is a much bigger softy than Mommy. Mark plays us off each other. Little snot.

  11. Did she know that she was spending the evening with her daddy, because that would explain how she just knew she would be doing what she wanted to do?

  12. Anonymous8:04 AM

    My kid knows how to play her Daddy, too.

    And I am HATING the before/after thing now--it's coming back to bite me.

  13. Except when there are three of them. The decisions and the lack of negotiations are apparent.

    No means NO! Whine all you want, it is non-negotiable!

    And if that doesn't work, I hide.

  14. Sounds like she has daddy wrapped! ;)

  15. I need me a Mr. Husband. I guess at my age they call those a Sugar Daddy, huh?

  16. Well, to be fair at least she has good taste. I would love strawberries, apples, a book, french fries and Singing Time. Who wouldn't, really? That's a relaxing evening if there ever was one.

  17. anglophilefootballfanatic.com8:52 AM

    Does he even try to be the adult? I mean, letting 2 yo Alexis buffalo him will mean 14 yo Alexis demanding spa trips and cell phones. He's setting himself up for a big tumble, me thinks.

  18. Toddler negotiations make my head spin. That daddy is a softie.

  19. So not only has she learned her 'before' and 'after'...she's learned which parent to manipulate :D Smart kid :D

  20. Yep, and it doesn't change as they get older either. My eldest knows if she sits down and plays piano for her father for a half an hour or so he'll do whatever she wants. She ACTUALLY brags about how she can do it with her friends and demonstrated once too. Sigh.

  21. Sounds like Alxis knows who is the boss of the applesauce...I'm sorry to say, it ain't you mom!!

    Get used to it. I'm so calling my daughter the terrorist from now on...;)

  22.'s not just Daddy's of daughters. Or even of humans. I think it's just men in general.

    Hubby is wrapped around everyone's finger--apparently except mine. Even the dogs get their every whim fulfilled and he doesn't necessarily stop to think why I say no first. The other day he gave Kerry a yogurt because she was begging for it. She's allergic to dairy.

    Fun stuff I tell ya.

  23. Oh, we pass McDonald's everyday too and from the sitters.

    Let's just say that the sound inside the car is not soothing!


  25. The weirdest part about this post?

    Is that for a second there, I thought you posted about Sweetie Pie and I. Because our marriage? Is a lot like Alexis' relationship with her dad.

    It's a simple technique, really. You demand something. Husband says no. You repeat said demand, man realizes that he can either give it to you or deal with you whining about it all night. You win.

    Isn't everyone's marriage like this? Is Alexis not simply training and mastering her tactics for her future husband?

  26. Okay you so described how things are at my house. I say no, Bean goes to the daddy and gets permission. I thought this began in the teen years?

  27. Nice! I want a million dollars!

    Dammit, didn't work.

  28. Smart girl, I play the same trick on my husband. I want a new pair of shoes, I want a new pair of shoes, and then eventually I get a new pair of shoes. Unfortunately, I fear our future children will learn that same trick to play on the sucker.

  29. Took a bit, but Justin finally realized that a good way to stay in bed with me (and not be kicked to the guest bed) is to confer with me any prior negotiations with Gavin. But it's hard when Gavin knows that Friday=movie/pizza night...and will ask for a movie on Wednesday. We tell him, "no, it's only Wednesday...movies are on Friday" and he will counter with "it not Wessday! Iss Fwiday!" and because we are so crazy and sleep-deprived, we can barely remember what day it is, and us two adults are nearly duped by him.

  30. Anonymous2:23 PM

    Silly Mommy! How could you not know that Daddy = french fries?!

    Hubby had the kids yesterday while I went to the dentist. When I got home I asked Cooper what he had for lunch.

    Him: "Chicken nuggets."
    Me: "Really . . . did you go through the drive-thru?"
    Him: "Oh, yes!"
    Daddy: "Thanks, NARC."

  31. Just wait 'till she figures out how to turn him into a walking ATM machine . . . it's only a matter of time.

  32. Okay,suddenly I am wanting some salty McDonald's french fries.Thanks for the help with sticking to my diet.

  33. This moral is totally true. It has worked for me for years, on both dad and hubby! Way to learn early, Alexis.

    Another tip for Alexis when she's older: If you want Daddy's car keys, give him a back rub after work. Once he's relaxed, ask to borrow the car. Soon, you will need only to start massaging and he will hand over the car keys. hehe.

  34. Pst....

    I need to borrow Mr Husband. Mama needs a new pair of shoes for BlogHer.

  35. Maybe she's just psychic! Maybe she wasn't asking you to give her thosue things, but telling you she KNEW she was going to do those things! SPOOOOOKY!

  36. If I say "No" to Aidan, he goes to dad and asks him. Devious little thing ain't he. LOL

  37. She knew all along she would ask Daddy. She was just torturing you.

  38. Boo's latest is 'say yes'
    'To what?' I ask
    'To me!'
    "about what'
    'what I said'

    Then I just throw a heap of junk in his direction and hope it is what he wanted so he will leave me alone.

    Third child you see...

  39. I have so been there! Doesn't it just make you wanna smack him?

    Does me...

  40. I don't think Daddy's come with the "No" feature. Something needs to be done about that.

  41. Y'all are in soooo much trouble when she is older--trust me it is the TIP of the iceburg.....sleep well ;)

  42. Your daughter is awesome.

  43. Daddy is a sucker for his baby girl☺

  44. What I love the most about the whole "I eat french fries and after watch Dora" is the emphatic "NO" at the very beginning of the sentence. It's like the toddler equivalent to "NO, DUMMY! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. THIS IS HOW IT'S GONNA GO." And it is true that if you say something enough times, it will probably happen for ya. People eventually just wanna shut you up...BWAHAHAHA! It seems that Alexis was born just KNOWING these things. She has my admiration :)!

  45. LOL, sounds like she's the boss :)

  46. ImpostorMom3:17 PM

    smart girl, i'm surprised she asked you at all actually. :P