Tuesday, July 1

Plotting My Revenge. Suggestions Welcomed.

It's no secret that I love me some AFF (pssst . . . she's giving stuff away this month). She's funny, she's sweet, she sends my kid stuff. OK, so I don't like her BECAUSE she sends Alexis stuff, I like her IN SPITE of it.

The latest in a lengthy list of things I would like to burn on the grill then use for batting practice off a very high cliff is Big Water. Big Water is a sippy cup that says "Alexis" on the side and is, well, big. Alexis LURVES Big Water. She takes it with her in the car. She drags it all over the house. She asks for it first thing in the morning. She even sleeps with Big Water. No joke, she has fallen asleep hugging Big Water on more than one occasion.

All that is fine and dandy. Whatever, the kid has a favorite cup. I deal.


You know how Alexis doesn't seem to think that her bed is where she should sleep the entire night? It's more like a temporary sleeping quarters and she MUST move her hiney to my bed at some point in the night. When she does, she seldom remembers to bring Big Water with her. Which, of course, means that she later realizes that she is thirsty and has a heart attack because she NEEDS Big Water in the middle of the night.

You know what's fun? When a two-year old starts screeching for Big Water at 4:00 in the morning, and really isn't willing to stop screeching long enough for you to explain that the bottle of water that is on your nightstand is the same as the water that is in Big Water, which is far, far away.

You're lucky you're cute, AFF.

(No toddlers, stuffed Bulldogs, or dolls were harmed in the taking of these photos. However, a certain parent did greatly enjoy that she had JUST told the Toddler not to sit there because she could fall over. A Mother is ALWAYS right about this sort of thing.)


  1. Very cute.

    You really should be in marketing after that twit...


  2. Holy moly...am I first!!! Toddlers don't want to hear that Mommy is right...even if she is;)

  3. Awww...HRH totally dogged me on first!

  4. anglophilefootballfanatic.com10:49 PM

    HAhAH. Puppy just said, "If we end up with a noisy toy here because of this? I'm going to be upset with both of you." LOVE it.

    Do you need another Big Water? One for your room & her room?

    HEE hee. Smooches wumman.

  5. *adds professional drum set to the list*

  6. You guys are TOTAL CRACKERS. Welcome to the club. :D

    (And can we get a pic of Big Water?)

  7. You realize Big Water is really NOT your friend during the potty training (especially night time training) process someday, right? Just a little FYI there. AFF IS lucky that she's cute and I'm glad she doesn't have my address. Or does she...hmmm...

  8. See? This is why we blog. You must never forget about things like Big Water. I know it feels like you'll never forget such details, but some get lost. Not yours. Not the details of the life of a child whose mommy blogs.

    Nice. Big Water. Very nice.

  9. kinda gives a different twist to the term "hold your water, young lady." (yes, i can channel "sybil" ... my talents know no bounds.)

    drums are good. little sweetie darling boys looooooove drums.

    or xylophones.

    or ah-ooo-gah horns.

    *insert evil laugh here*

  10. Great photo series! :) I have some of The Boy falling head first into a large toybox. I can look at those pix and chuckle for hours!

  11. I once bought the son of a friend of mine one of those club things that makes noise when you hit it on something. I keep wondering when I will receive my revenge gift. A few years later I bought her son a Spiderman glove that shot silly string. She sent me an email that said "I really don't like you".

    Sorry about the deleted post. I know how much you enjoy being a smart ass. What were you gonna say?

  12. Anonymous8:22 AM

    I just love when I warn my kid she will fall or whatever if she continues to do something and then she does fall.

    How wrong am I, right?


  13. And there is no picture of Big Water? The kid has a new best friend and we get a photo of sidewalk chalk?

  14. That last pic is too funny! Her face is just so calm!

  15. Yeah, I second the picture of Big Water.

    That AFF, she's such a bitch, but I lurve her.

    (of course I use the word bitch with a the love and kindness in my heart.)

  16. I thought of you this weekend, one of my friends has a preschooler that still comes in their room a lot at night. She said that they've made progress by putting a sleeping bag on the floor. If he wants to sleep in their room, he has to sleep on the sleeping bag - it's not as comfortable, so he's coming in less and less. Mine would prob just like it more, but thought I'd pass it along...

  17. Ahaha that set of pictures is hilarious! Mom is always right.

  18. I agree big Water will bot be your friend when you decide to take the leap to potty train.
    That being said Big Water could have been worse. It could have been a Dora cup. That sang. Just sayin.

  19. Mmm. Big Water could lead to big peepee in mom's bed. Put your waterproof mattress pad on!

    And, yes, mothers are always right. Even ours -- it takes a lot for me to say/write that!

  20. Big Water - what a great name! And yes, mothers are always right about those types of hthings!

  21. The picture on your header is awesome.

  22. *LOL* Toddlers are sooo fun sometimes, aren't they? *G*

    My girls would do the exact same thing! Glad you caught it on camera :D

  23. I got video of my little one sitting on a beach chair, leaning to one side, and it slowly toppling over. I thought of you while I took the video instead of stopping the fall. hehe.

  24. Oh, oh I have a suggestion.

    How about one of those blow up ball pits with maybe a couple hundred extra balls.

  25. Oh wow. AF sounds like a real Beyotch.

    How about a dog squeeky toy because I swear those things are so dang annoying. Does she have a dog? Who cares...send her one and hope she steps on it four or five times a night or at least once in the middle of the night and almost has a heart attack.

    Trust me. It's fun.

    Depending on your definition of "fun."

  26. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That last pic ROCKS!!!!!

    You love me, you really do!

    You secretly knew I needed a gratuitous toddler falling photo to lift my sour spirits!

    (And if you didn't, don't say anything...just let me be in my ooooowwwwn little world in my head.)

    Also, I demand pictures of Big Water. And Sock Monkey jammies.

  27. How can you not love AFF? I love that she gave you something you hate for Alexis. That's awesome, aren't friends wonderful :-) *snort*
    I laugh at my kids when they fall over after I've told them not to sit/stand/flip/fly/jump/balance/wobble or otherwise contort. :-)We rock as parents.
    I want a pic of Big Water.

  28. Lovin' AFF for lovin' you so much to make your life so much fun, in a nightmarish sort of way.

    And, digging that moms are indeed always right . . .

    Finally, Alexis' expression in the last pic is perfect. "Yeah. I fell. Whatever. So what that my mom told me I would. I did it on purpose . . . yeah, that's it. On purpose."

  29. You don't want to know my thinking on the 4am thing--if she's "big girl" enough to get out of her bed and crawl into mine, she's big enough to either bring the dang thing, or suck it up and go get it herself.

    It's amazing what happens the first time you inform said toddler (at bedtime) that if she comes to MY room withOUT *insert object name here* she will continue to be withOUT until and unless SHE goes and gets it.

    It may mean one grumpy mommy all day--and the toddler gets reminders ALL DAY that mommy is grumpy because *insert reason here*.

    She'll start to remember to bring it.

    She's adorable, btw. How could you be so mean as to let her fall over? *wink*

  30. Trust me on this one....at 14 years old, they still don't listen. :o(

  31. Hmmm. I think Puppy needs to get an Annoy-A-Tron in the mail. To plant somewhere just for AFF.

    Have you tried taking a picture of Big Water, printing it out and wrapping it around your water on the nightstand? In the dark it might look enough like.

  32. Dude - buy a decoy. I'm all about buying multiples of the same thing - she won't know the difference. Except that then you'd have to spend money on another one. *shudder* I hate spending money.

  33. If she doesn't listen about the water being the same in your cup as it is in hers what made you think she was going to listen about not sitting on the wagon? Hehe! It did make for some cute photos though!

  34. Moms are always right. We all learn this one way or another!


  35. anglophilefootballfanatic.com8:35 PM

    You know something hot stuff? You've actually confessed to me something else Alexis may need if you try to retaliate...Dora DVDs. Oddly, we have FOUR that don't get watched anymore. Moo hoo hoo hahaha.

  36. Something tells me you were a "perfect" child, and this sort of karma just gets you all worked up. :)

    Love that kid of yours (yeah, you too I suppose).