Saturday, July 12

Side Effects May Vary

Guess what happens when a kid pukes on your face? Go ahead, guess. DING! DING! DING! You get a chance to get even! You get sick, too!

In all seriousness, I was operating on the theory that whatever the Toddler had two days ago, it wasn't contagious. I've never seen someone be sick for literally two hours and then magically be so well that they ate nearly an entire can of cranberries while dancing the Cabbage Patch on top of a craft table. The kid was SO TOTALLY fine after taking a nap that I really didn't expect to wake up this morning with the sudden thought, "Nausea? You are NOT my friend. GO AWAY." Which was interesting, because it did (temporarily), right after I made a visit to the Church of the Puke.

Dangnabit.

(BTW, it totally reminded me of how much I HATED being pregnant. No one should be nauseous for three straight months. That's just cruel.)

And, of course, a few hours later, the power of suggestion worked its magic on the male head of household. We all know that no woman can be sick without the man in her life being sicker, so it turned into a Really! Fun! Day! of sitting around and doing nothing. The poor Toddler had to endure hour and after of Disney flicks since no one was willing to join her in her craziness and take her anywhere to play. After eleventy bazillion showings, I think I can now recite just about every single line from Aristocats. That and $4 will get me a Caramel Macchiatto from Starbucks.

Of course, it's not lost on me that it took two days for this evil illness to penetrate my normally ironclad immune system. If it does indeed have a two-day incubation period, that means the Toddler caught it earlier this week. Perhaps at Chuck E. Cheese. Perhaps because she was kissing a boy.

I just knew a daughter kissing a boy could cause vomiting, chills, fever, and headaches.



(The photo has nothing to do with the price of rice in China, but I wanted to post it because I LURVE it. It's from the Pittsburgh Zoo and was taken last week. He's one sexy beast, no? I'm thinking of kidnapping him and chaining him to the Toddler so no more boys go near her.)

31 comments:

  1. Hmmmm? Thinking of kidnapping a human-like gorilla ... AND ... a bit of morning sickness, perhaps? Yup. I hear ya. When's your due date?

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  2. Ugh puking! There's no time for mom's to get sick you know! There are strict policies about that in most states. Apparently PA isn't one of them. Sorry to hear that!

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  3. I've got a little something for you.

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  4. Obviously Alexis is allergic to boys.

    Not entirely sure how it becomes contagious though.

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  5. You poor, sick thing! Something is going around and I think it's spread via the internets. I never, ever get tummy sick and I was just tummy sick on Thursday. Maybe you got it from me. :(

    There are worse things than knowing all the songs from Aristocats, you know. I love some of the songs.

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  6. Check out my blog Monday morning. There will be something there for you.

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  7. Poor you! Ugh.
    I feel you. I vomited for 12 straight weeks. I think vomiting is the second worst bodily ugh.
    Boys kiss our daughters, bad.
    Girls kiss our sons, bad.

    I absolutely adore that picture. It is fabulous!! Absolutely amazing.

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  8. Ugh, throwing up sickness is the worst kind of sickness by far! As if getting thrown up on your head wasn't bad enough. I hope you illness only lasts as long as Alexis' did. I think the gorilla is a good idea. Darn that little boy at Chuck E Cheese. BTW, the pic of Alexis in the fountain are adorable! It looks like she was having a blast! Were you at Station Square?

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  9. yuk, sorry the sickness went around

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  10. It has pretty much become law around here that Evan gets sick I will not only get sick, but it will gain intensity and lose speed.

    I'm currently sick because of him - on vacation, on the cusp of an hour drive in the car - awesome!

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  11. Man - I could see it coming as per my post on pukey-head day. That still sucks a fat one, though. You should at least take pleasure in the fact that you've given this joyful experience to the others in daycare!

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  12. Love that photo, and the sly way you somehow made it go with the story!

    Hope your sickness is short lived like Alexis's!

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  13. I love that men get sicker! How true is THAT?

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  14. My husband makes up sick just because he doesn't want to be left out. Heaven forbid he shouldn't relish in more down time.

    Hope you're feeling better and I loved the pics at the fountain.

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  15. I DO like the way you think. I also believe the gorilla would be an ideal deterrent for members of the male sex. I also, (speaking from experience here), know that she is going to need the big monkey much more as a teenager, so start saving up now to buy lots of bananas.
    Great idea. Good luck.

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  16. i had forgotten about the kissing part... interesting.

    feel better!

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  17. Hopefully it was just 3 months for you. I had the extended version of it!!!

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  18. See I knew boys were evil! LOL

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  19. anglophilefootballfanatic.com3:24 PM

    Is it any better today? I've been thinking about you.

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  20. ew. barfing. yuck. ick. feh.

    and i always KNEW you could catch that from kissing boys. i'll have to tell roo.

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  21. Chuck E Cheese automatically = sickness. Never took my kid there, never will.

    And what kind of camera do you have again? I think I want one. That picture is awesome. It looks like it was taken on safari, not at the zoo. I'm not saying it's great just because of the camera, but I'm thinking it helps.

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  22. Wow.. just getting caught up on your blog here. You have been having a CRAZY time! Puke, Water fountains.. and a gorilla! :-)

    The puke on the face... EEWWWW...

    Hope your all feeling better!

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  23. There's nothing like kid puke to get you out of a deep sleep, but in the face? Yeesh. Now that's nasty.

    Hope you feel better soon. Hope hubby doesn't die a terrible puke death (Jon is on death's doorstep if he just FEELS nauseous. When he pukes its like the end of the world is around the corner).

    I know the entire script of Disney's Robin Hood. With your Aristocrats act, we should go on the road.

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  24. Uh huh--I hear you on the pregnant thing-I hated it too.
    Nice to have a little reminder now and again.
    Oh, and the Aristocats? Yeah. cool baby. i'm an alley cat myself.
    us moms have to stick together somehow.

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  25. Aye aye aye! I hate puking. Hate it so much that I can usually talk myself out of actually puking, no matter how sick I am. The exception was the time I had an ileus (go on, look it up, you know you want to) after my hysterectomy. Once you have a blockage, it eventually has to go somewhere. 7 days in the hospital...3 of which was spent hunched over a basin (what a euphemistic term!), trying not to hurt my 8" incision while clearing the blockage. Ugh. I feel for you, which is all I really wanted to say.

    Oh, and those long sloping foreheads the apes have? So sexy.
    :-p

    Peace - D
    (formerly Momma)

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  26. Hope you are feeling better! I love that photo!

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  27. Dude, you chain that thing to your little girl and think of what kind of kisses she'll be getting!!!

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  28. he really is something isn't he?...eatin' the grass & lookin' chill...
    I was sick for seven months, leaning over the toilet past my big belly to puke & changing a two year old's poopy diaper so I don't even wanna hear somebody was sick for only three months! :P

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  29. Two days sounds about right. Cooper was sick on a Wednesday, I got sick on a Friday, Gavin had it Monday, and since Justin was conveniently in Alaska, he lost out on the Pukefest from Hell.

    so you never really said if you got her back. ;)

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  30. So sorry you got sick! That sucks. Don't you know you aren't supposed to get sick in the middle of summer? That is reserved for the miserable days of snow and cold.

    But I love your idea about the ape....I may need borrow that guy!

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  31. Try barfing or being on the verge of barfing for months straight. So unfair...

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