Sunday, August 10

Tougher than Nails

I started the day with a quest. I wasn't sure exactly which one I wanted, but I was on a quest for either cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory or breakfast food from a local place called Pamela's. So of course it makes perfect sense that we grabbed lunch at a local deli.

This particular local deli is known by the name, "Peanut Butter and Jelly" in our house because that is exactly what the Toddler always requests there. Why we pay $.99 for a sandwich I could make at home, I don't know. Maybe it's because when we go to the deli we can get potato chips and drinks, too. Of course, we would never have that sort of stuff in our house. (OK, see, that's funny because Mr. Husband ALWAYS has at least seven open bags of chips in the cabinet at any given time. ALWAYS. At LEAST seven. It makes my head explode.)

Unfortunately for the uptight neat-freak who dressed the Toddler in an all white sundress today, the Toddler had it in her head that she was selecting her own chips for a change. She started with Dorito's and I started in with, "Are you sure you don't want pretzels?" and "How about some plain potato chips?" I kept thinking about what happens when you dip a short person in orange chip dust and really didn't want to spend the rest of the day with an Oompa Loompa. Fortunately, she put down the Dorito's. And picked up Cheetos.


So we sat down at the table and I handed the Cheetos to the Toddler one tiny little stick at a time, making sure that her hands were dry in between doses. Apparently she got a little annoyed at my super slow pace because she decided to just dip into Mr. Husband's chips.

His chips that had some sort of warning on the bag. I do believe it said, "Caution: Will Set Your Face on Fire."

HOT! HOT! HOT! potato chips.

We're really careful to not impose our food preferences on the kid, so I didn't say anything. I mean, if I told her, "I wouldn't eat that," each time she shoves something in her mouth that makes me want to vomit, she wouldn't eat Lima beans out of the can, tomatoes straight off the plants on the deck, and she certainly wouldn't live off of all kinds of strange fruits. We try to let her make up her own mind. Mr. Husband did ask her if she was sure, but also didn't really make a move to stop her.

She shoved the hot, spicy, fire-filled chip in her mouth and chewed.

We waited.

She grabbed another hot, spicy, fire-filled chip in her mouth and chewed.

Mr. Husband clutched her cup of water, prepared to assist her with a little fire extinguishing action.

She ate another chip.

And another. And another.

The look on Mr. Husband's face was priceless. He has an iron-clad gut and will eat Habenero peppers straight off the vine. He knows hot, and he said, "Those are REALLY hot."

Maybe so, but the Toddler was completely unphased. As she shoveled Mr. Husband's chips into her mouth, one after the other, the only evidence there was that the chips were indeed hot and spicy was the fact that her eyes were watering. Like, REALLY watering. More like pouring.

Finally, after eating several handfuls of the chips, she showed a small glimmer of weakness. She said, "My mouth hurts."

Then asked for more chips.


Last Wednesday, I heard words fall out of a friend's mouth that were easily the biggest compliment I've ever been given regarding this little blog. She Who Swears She Will Not Have Kids actually uttered the words, "Your blog makes me want to have a baby." She added a little sarcastic stab at how she would have to skip the pregnancy thing, so I know she wasn't actually an alien life-form that had overtaken the body of Dawn. Anyway, a long chain of events led her to write what I think is one of the best blog posts of all time over at her place. You really should take a minute and read it, because you just might learn something. I know I'm still working on really "knowing" a few of the things she listed.

Be sure to tell her that the post absolutely proves that she needs to be a mother someday. Because she does.


  1. :D The Toddler is truly amazing. My daughter has been in love with douche chips since she was tiny. Though not hot, they sure make the mouth pucker! Salt and vinegar is a bit beyond me. Definitely something to try with Alexis, though.

  2. I am literally crying with laughter at fleas comment. 'douche chips'? I am totally googling that...

    My girls used to love raw onion and olives. Together. For lunch.

    Kids are weird ;)

  3. I hate hot stuff, but I made a hot curry the other night to satify my other half.

    Amy refused the mild version and chowed down on the really REALLY hot one. No fuss.

    Seriously, makes me think that it is something learned, not something inbuilt, to dislike hot stuff.

  4. Mmmm...Now I'm craving Pamela's potatoes.

  5. My little boy loves spicy food. Last year when my parents garden was producing jalepanos by the bucket, he picked on up and took a bite. All he said was "Oh, spicy." He went on about his day. The rest of us tried the same pepper. It was HOT. That kid amazes me.

    The pictures you take of your daughter would make anyone want to have a baby or another baby. She is such a cutie.

  6. Love it! You're right, that was possibly the sweetest thing ever written. :-) You're so lucky!!

    My kids both love spicy foods, too and it's a funny thing to watch :-)
    I am so glad that you don't impose your food feeling ons A. I love when people let their kids just go and figure out for themselves ;-)

  7. I refuse, absolutely will NOT give cheetos in my boys' lunches. That fake orange dust would get everywhere: fingers, nose, and not to mention their crisp, white school uniform shirt. Nope, no cheetos.

    That's funny about your daughter loving the hot potato chips...she sounds like my sons!

  8. Damn. Teenager years are going to be really interesting at your house.

  9. never seen a toddler with an asbestos mouth and cast-iron stomach ...

  10. Most impressive! I should let her try some of my chili, the very chili that I can no longer eat because my middle-aged gut can't take it, my special Texas-make-your-eyeballs-sweat-hurts-so-good chili. mmmmm

    I'm going to pop over to Dawn's place, too, to see what all the fuss is about.

    You've got a cool kid there...Peace - D

  11. Kids are strangle little people. Bean does that crap all the time and I am like, "Dude! Isn't your mouth ON FIRE?????"

  12. Wow. I'm actually one of the few Texans I know who isn't a fan of burning the skin off the inside of my mouth.

    And, what a wonderful tribute to both your parenting and Alexis being kick ass from your bloggy friend.

  13. I feel the same way when my girls want to order Kraft Macaroni at a restaurant for 3.99 and I veto that cuz I can buy like 5 boxes for that price!
    And I only buy the all natural Cheetoes. Yellow, not orange, and yummy to boot!

  14. Holy cow! She is freakin awesome! I cant eat more than like 3 of those chips at a time.

  15. I think your friend was maybe asking you out on a date no?


  16. Cheetos! I try not to buy them often and when I do, the boys call them "those things behind the door" because I always try to hide them in the cupboard so they don't ask for them every 3.7 seconds. They make for great travel food...if you don't actually want them to wear the clothes they have on ever again. My husband's the neat freak in our family and it drives.him.nuts when I give them Cheetos. Now you understand why I do it...

    Good for you for not forcing your food preferences on the Toddler! That's a tough thing to do, especially if something (like carrots!) makes you gag just by looking at it.

  17. lol that is so funny how she just kept shoveling them in. Maggie did that with olives last week- while not NEARLY as impressive as super-spicy chips, it was definitely a surprise how she kept eating them, even while she was making a weird face each time. Kids are such goofballs.

  18. Anonymous3:01 PM

    oh, that's funny. Monkey can't even eat her way through a bag of Target popcorn without reacting to the salt. I don't thing she or Bun would have made it past one chip.

    Here's the detail of the story I'm stuck on: You went out in public, to a restaurant, with a Toddler in a white dress.

    You are the bravest mommy I know.


  19. I love me some hot stuff! Now I'm off to read other post...

  20. My toddler wont eat anything other then plain chips and cheesies.

  21. She asked for more! Love it.

    I read Dawn's post. Awesome stuff. Thanks for the link.

  22. It amazes me how spicy my grandson likes his food. He will take a bite of my burritos and say "WOOOO!" and have another. The only indicator of spiciness is how many sippy cups of water he goes through during dinner. Too funny! The watering eyes totally cracked me up!

    And am going now to check out Dawn's blog.

  23. 'k - had to come back at guffaw at Flea - douche chips....

  24. Too Funny! We did the same anticipation thing when my kid first grabbed a handful of gorgonzola cheese. There was no way he's actually LIKE that stuff. We were so wrong. I guess moldy cheese is not an acquired taste after all.

  25. A girl after my own heart. I was SO excited that Sumo is just as in love with Indian food (yes, I know he's only 12 months old) as I am. It's fantastic.

    If I'm not bleeding from the eyes when I finish my meal, something hasn't gone right.

  26. So funny! My daughter loves spicy, my son does not. I usually make things to my taste (and his) and then leave spices and sauces for the daughter and husband to add as needed.

  27. Yep, I went over and read it and it's a GREAT post. But crap, I went and looked at her 'about' page. I can't read stuff by woman that beautiful, tell her to ugly herself up if she wants me to take her seriously. :)

  28. @BBM -- I'm really, really glad you liked it!! And I'm pretty sure that either my absolute terror over pregnancy will either go away once that happens, or you'll be visiting me in Western Psych for 9 months. :)

    Thanks for sending everyone my way, and thanks for all the amazing comments!

    Kiss that little girl for me, hmm?

    @Leanne -- You just made my morning... :)

  29. Loved Dawn's post!

    And girl, the only time I can eat flaming hot chips is when I'm drunk or pregnant. Seeing that you're such a standup parent, I highly doubt Alexis is in either situation. So better start doubling up on more of those hot chips, hot peppers from the Farmer's Market (may I suggest the surprisingly wicked-hot jalapenos I got from my local farmers? yikes, they made my ears, eyes, and nose bleed!), and lots of dairy to put out those fires while Alexis and Mr. Husband dare each other to eat hotter and hotter items.

  30. That kid is so much like her father it's a little bit frightening. Next year? She'll be showing him up by practicing flame-throwing.

  31. "My mouth hurts" too cute! Way to go girlfriend!!!

  32. Anonymous9:19 PM

    Bless her little heart! The food preferences are KILLING me! One day macaronni and cheese is the best thing ever invented, and the very next week it is snubbed like a fat girl at the prom.

    And Dawn's post has got to be one of the best posts that I have ever read - she absolutely needs to be a mother some day. It goes without saying that Alexis is one very lucky little girl to have so many people who care so deeply for her - I love that about blogging!

  33. wow.
    does she like primanti's?

    cuz i am totally taking that girl out to lunch when i come to the burgh.

    and you? you are buying the beer. and I don't want any of that IronCity crap either.