Wednesday, October 1

I Don't Clean it Either

At age two and a half, Alexis is still working on her mastery of pronouns. She has finally figured out that not everyone is a "she" (you wouldn't believe how many men get their panties in a bunch when a toddler refers to them as a "she," btw). She's definitely got "me" and "mine" down like any greedy little toddler should. What she hasn't totally figured out yet is the difference between "your" and "our."

I suppose in part her confusion is due to the vast differences in how things are pronounced around here. I spent my entire college career working very hard to lose any and all of my North Dakota accent. (Ever watched the movie Fargo? Yeah, I used to sound like that.) It still comes out once in a while when I'm wound up, but mostly I am devoid of accent. Anybody who says otherwise is just looking to get punched.

Mr. Husband, on the other hand, is a Hoosier through and through. He has all kinds of little quirky pronunciations. For what it's worth, I declare him WRONG in all instances. Don't even get me started on the "how many syllables does crayon have?" debate. (It has TWO, dangnabit!)

Then there are the teachers at daycare, where the poor child is exposed to more than her fair share of Yinzer-speak. I don't even understand the Yinzers when they break into their hard-core Pittsburgh accents. Anyway, I know for a fact that the people in her life do not all pronounce "your" and "our" all that correctly and distinctly.

So, the other night Alexis and I were driving through the neighborhood on our way to the house. She was telling me that we were going to her house, I was saying we were going to our house, and we were just generally debating the whole thing.

Alexis: Are we going to my house?
Me: We're going home to our house.
Alexis: We're going to my house!
Me: No, it's our house.
Alexis: My house.
Me: It's not your house, it's our house.
Alexis: Yes, it's MY house.

And on and on. I tried to explain that she, Daddy, and I all live there so it is "our" house but she was having none of it. Finally, I decided that if she wants to be a possessive little toddler, she should take some responsibility with it. So, I said, "Well, since it's your house, I think you should clean it."

Her response? "No, it's not my house."

I'm pretty sure the list of reasons to have a kid included having someone to do a little toilet scrubbing and window washing. This is SO not going as planned.

I'm still working through all the contest entries and will post the winners on October 2nd by 10:00 pm Eastern Time, but I needed to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who stopped by on September 30th. Thanks to the 87 (87!!!!) links from all corners of the Internet, I had over 3500 pages views that one day. For a tiny little mommy blog? That's INCREDIBLE! Thank you all so much, and I'll share the totals raised and all that along with the winners' names tomorrow.

Y'all? Are freakin' amazing. I can't thank you enough for your help.


  1. Never heard of a Yinzer or their Yinzer-speak. I must be sheltered that was darn funny. She's quick, that one.

  2. LMAO! The Toddler takes after her oh-so-smart mother, I see.

  3. LOL, definitely one of the two best days for me in my childrens lives were when they could run their own bath water and bathe themselves, and two, when they learned how to unload the dishwasher and switch around the laundry. Does that make me a lazy mom?

  4. that is so cool! you are awesome...

    you know how sad this is? I was so consumed with our family garbage going on, and then trying to plan out all of the October stuff we are doing on the blog and in Real Life that it never occurred to me to link to you. I am so sorry... SO Sorry!

    My house is a wreck, as of late. Can I pull an Alexis and say "No, not my house!"

  5. Anonymous1:07 AM

    I feel it, I feel it. And, it's mostly coming from me cos I'm the only one around here that pronounces anything different...

    Great news on the totals btw!

  6. possession being 9/10 of the law, i think alexis totally gets to clean...

  7. Ya know Yinz kin teach yer toddler ta clean yer house, it's not too late. At least start with pickin up her crayns.

  8. Yes, I'm having many of the same conversations (sans accents) with Monkey.

    M: "I'm the boss."
    Me: "No. I'm the boss."
    M: "You're the boss?"
    Me: "I'm the boss."
    M: "Oh."

    We did just have the house one too, as in, "It's my house." Me: "No, it's my house." If it comes up again, I'm borrowing your line and telling her to clean it.

    can't wait until they are old enough for chores!


  9. You have to post some examples of 'Yinzer' speak because I have no clue ;-)

    I am in love with that picture of her, adorable, rebellious and just darling.

    It's amazing how quickly they change their possession of something when it comes time to clean/care for it :-)

  10. Well, she picked up on that last one quickly, didn't she?

    That's the look I have on my face when I think about cleaning too.......

  11. We had a similar conversation with our 3 year old daughter:

    V: You're not the boss! I'm the boss!
    Me: Did you know that the boss has to change the baby's poopy diapers? If you're the boss, then that's YOUR job.
    V: (after a long, long pause) I don't want to be the boss. Maybe daddy should be the boss?

    And really, I couldn't agree more with that.

  12. Sounds like she CLEARLY gets the difference just CHOOSES to use it to her advantage!


  13. 3500 page views! WOW! I can't wait to hear how much money you raised.

    The picture made me do this - (breaks into song) "Born to be wild! Lookin for some action, and whatever comes my way!..."

    Oh, and JIm is just waiting for the day when he can get Dylan to take over garbage duty. The garbage cans will be moving mysteriously, because he'll be so little, you won't be able to see him over them!

  14. I have a 9 year old and a 19 year old living at home, I will tell you now......They never clean! It may be "their" home, but momma will always have to clean it. I had those wild dreams of child labor/slavery...I was disappointed to find out it is only a dream. heh!!

    Congrats on all the views! Can't wait to hear how well you did.

  15. mom2tot9:54 AM

    I hear you about the accent, but my toddler is definitely picking a southern accent, Oh no!!! But as long as he doesn't say Hi Yall!!! I guess I'm ok with it.
    On the cleaning side, he actually fights me over a Clorox wipe or the vacuum cleaner, but somehow I don’t believe this will last long. *sight*


    I found that site a few years ago when I was doing an internship for US Steel - it sure did come in handy - especially when I didn't know what "jimmies" were (they're sprinkles like on donuts).

  17. This is my favorite picture of Alexis so far - too cute!!

    Congrats on the fundraising!

    My best friend moved to Chicago recently and the other moms there were anxious to meet the mom of the "girl with the funny accent". I never knew we had accents - it's all yinz guys that have one!

  18. Haha! That's great. I also love that pic of Alexis with Baby Shell riding in behind her on her wheels! Too cute!

    Glad you got so many page views! It's a great cause!

  19. I had kids so they would go fetch me a beer out of the fridge when I'm too damn lazy to get my butt off the couch.

  20. What's a Yinzer? Oh, and it's cran, not cray-on, but you can be wrong if you want :)
    Congratulations on all the page views. I definitely learned a lot more about ya'll from all the page clicking. Does that make me a blog stalker now? :)

  21. How old is she? My son is almost 6 and just lately he's decided that cleaning is FUN and I actually can without being allowed to clean when he misbehaves.

    I have a hard time not laughing when I say "Shape up or you will not be allowed to mop the bathroom!"

    Works every time.

  22. 2.5 is definitely not too early to hand 'em a Windex Wipe and tell 'em to get busy. ;-)

  23. anglophilefootballfanatic.com3:09 PM

    I'm very proud of you. You're already learning her a thing or three about how women should not have to clean. Way to go, Alexis.

  24. Anonymous6:14 PM

    Ohhh...she catches on FAST!

  25. LMAO... OF COURSE she doesn't want it when she might have to work for it! Pufferfish is only 15 months and already has "mine" down pretty well. She feels like she personally owns everything in the household and possibly in the world. No concept of Yours or Ours, though! Everything is just plain HERS! Maybe I'll try your trick!

  26. Please dont tell me your husband says crayon like crown, like Dooce? That KILLS me. It's cray-ahn.

    And you should hear what Bubba has picked up at school from his VERY rural classmates.

  27. As you know my dad is from the Burgh and he'll say "warsh" until the day he dies.

  28. My kids are doomed in the accent department. My Maine accent is gone but we still visit. I was so afraid they would be yinzers, when I really should have been worried about what they are picking up from their father. Oliver couldn't learn "ketchup". No, he has to call it "mah-toe". He's just begging to get beat up on the playground someday.

  29. This took Mark a while too.

    Love the picture.

  30. Oh, I'd say that girl gets it...she gets it all too well. She's brilliant. You're screwed.

    And don't get me started on Narth Utah accents...shudder.

  31. Haha! She totally understands. She's tricky, that little Alexis. Very tricky.

  32. Ha! My hubby tried to teach me Pittsburghese but it never took. He doesn't speak that way but can break into it. His testing phrase for me was "hundred thousand dollars" (or hunnert thowsan dowars). I just can't stop enunciating enough to master it.

    But she should totally scrub toilets n'at.

  33. And seriously, did you have a clue who Donny Iris was before living there? I had never heard of him and everyone in the 'burgh thought I was nuts.

  34. You sooooooo had the right idea telling her to clean HER house. What WAS she thinking to change her mind???