Sunday, October 5

Not Whining at All. Promise.

I'm fine with taking the good with the bad. Really, I am. We have not heard the Washed Up Latina Whore's name around these parts ALL WEEK. It's such a beautiful thing, and we owe it all to Snow White.


I don't know if I had ever actually watched that entire movie before this past week. I know I was fairly familiar with the premise, but somewhere along the line I totally didn't remember some of the more "interesting" parts of Snow White. You know, like the part where there's a guy with a giant dagger trying to stab Snow White to death. I also forgot about how the forest comes to life as a terrified Snow White runs for her life. Then there's the whole thing where the evil queen wants Snow White's heart delivered to her in the box. Mickey? Was not thinking about the two-year old kids when he made that movie.

But yet, Alexis LOVES that movie. She has watched it approximately eighty eleven seventeen bajillion times this week. Each time she watches it's like watching a mental patient going on and off meds in fast forward. She's happy! She's sad. She's happy! She's sad. The poor kid stands there staring at the TV alternating between BAWLING her eyes out and nearly falling over laughing. She really can't handle the scary parts, but refuses to to just stop the madness.

It's exhausting to watch. And heart-wrenching.

We've tried reasoning with her. We've tried explaining things to her. We've tried cutting her off altogether. We've finally resorted to trying to protect the poor kid from her own sensitive self. We stand there, right next to her, with the remote in hand, quickly fast forwarding every time a scary scene comes up.

Who would have thought that a six-year old Washed Up Latina Whore would be a better babysitter than the fair-skinned young woman who lives with seven short people?


  1. Have you watched Bambi lately??? That's a tough one too. I couldn't believe it when I watched it with my son. I was totally freaked out!!!

    Surely you can't tell me you miss D's voice though...

  2. Thank you!

    I've been *patiently* waiting for the picture of Alexis in that particular princess dress. :)

    And, as expected, she's darling.

  3. Too was into Pinocchio.

    All the freaking time.

    Sure it was cute for the first few weeks...

    And Moo is totally into the Disney Princesses. She is 16.

    Bulk buy that dress in every size girl.

  4. Nice princess dress. Halloween costume?

    Yeah, don't get me started on Disney -- especially some of the old stuff and especially the psycho sexual aspects. Watched Peter Pan lately? I recently watched it with Monkey, and banned it from the house. I mean, Tinkerbell is standing on a mirror, checking out her bum, and doesn't seem pleased with what she sees. Gimme a break!

    Sorry for the mini rant. I'm okay with Nemo and some of the newer stuff (still not crazy about the mermaid), but, yeah, I'm not sure how little-girl friendly Disney is.


  5. I love that picture of her.

    Bambi is another fun one to watch with little kids.

  6. She looks way too grown up in that picture. Tell her to just stop it already.

    And calling Dora a whore when Snow White lives with 7 men is kinda ironic. I'm just sayin.

  7. FireMom8:23 AM

    She looks freaking adorable in that shot. Gosh.

    If you want, send her over. I'll get her addicted to (Pixar) Cars and you can listen to redneck speak ALL DAY LONG for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.


    That said, I greatly prefer Thomas. When BB creates his own fake British accent, well, it's highly amusing.

  8. Ha - I love the dress!!

    I wish I could cut Evan cold turkey off Diego, but I think he might explode!

  9. Actually, Disney did leave out a bunch of the horribleness from the real story (there were several not-quite-successful murder attempts not depicted). It's a good "dont take food from strangers" education moment.

    I much prefered a "lessening" of the violence to the full on sugar coating like they did in the Little Mermaid (where's the suicide? the description of her pain when walking?) or Beauty and the Beast (where's the skinning alive?).

    Can you tell I grew up being read the uber-violent originals?

  10. The whole movie should just be about the dwarves.

    They seem realtively harmless.


  11. Anonymous9:50 AM

    I should have seen this coming...Alexis in costume. She is a cutie. And yeah, it's really a scary movie that was made for adults in 1937 or something like that. Definitely not a kids movie, if you really think about it.

  12. Wow, I completely forgot about all those parts of Snow White... now that I'm thinking about it, a LOT of Disney movies are pretty potentially traumatizing.

    Looks like she's dealing just fine though... adorable in her costume!!

  13. awwww and she's even watching while dressed up. Too cute!

  14. Yeah, I don't think I've ever watched any of those movies all the way through...and all this time, we've been blaming crime on video games...what about Snow White...umm...hello Disney???

    I love the Snow White dress! How adorable!

  15. Snow White is kinda scary and so is Sleeping Beauty.

  16. Arent you glad that Sleeping Beauty comes out this week? That dragon should do a wonder on her!

  17. Anonymous11:59 AM

    Most of the well-known fairy tales originated as the "adult" stories of their day and were much more sinister in their original versions. Same goes for most of our nursery rhymes. I took a course in college that looked into the development of evil in western civilations that explored this concept in literature and film. Quite interesting.

  18. Yeah, the old classics are rough.

    In the original Cinderella as told by Brothers Grimm the wicked stepmonster and step sisters have their eyes picked out by crows.

    My favorite when I was a small child was Hans Christian Andersen's 'Little Match Girl', in which a poor little orphan girl freezes to death.

    You should read some of the early tales of 'Little Red Riding Hood' the wolf is truly wicked.

    I am still completely terrified of Alice in Wonderland.

    The original Peter Pan written by Barre is wonderful and so is Winnie the Pooh by Milne. The originals are so very wonderful and full of imagery.

  19. What else do you expect from the Grimms brothers ;)

    Seriously, my mom got my older daughter the original Grimms and I can't read because I might get nightmares!

  20. Now that y'all are mentioning it, I know for a fact I read a huge collection of the original version of various fairy tales (including the Brothers Grimm) in Junior High. Why had I blocked that from my brain?

  21. So with you on this one. I completely forgot how scary that movie was and we finally found it on DVD and the little one just loves Snow White, it's her favorite princess, blah, blah, blah...

    And she won't watch it alone. So guess who's not doing laundry. Maybe I shouldn't complain.

  22. I don't remember most of that stuff either.

    But my real reason for commenting is OH MY GAWSH, BurghBaby, she looks SO freaking precious in that dress!!!!

    Sorry - got a little out of control there, couldn't help myself, the boys hate it when I dress them all girly like.

  23. disney movies are not all sunshine and flowers and rainbows and unicorns and cute mice that talk.

    beware the dead mothers and wicked stepfamilies.

  24. HAHAHA!!! This had me laughing out loud. It is so true! No Disney movies were really made for kids. Think of it! Little Mermaid? Scary Ursala. Beauty and the Beast? Scary Beast. Scary castle. Scary wolves. Alladin? Very scary Jafar at the end. All the Disney movies have really scary parts. Poor kids.

  25. I agree, scary scary stuff from Ole Walt. Not to mention the fact that something always happens to one of the parents...gobbled up by a huge fish, died from a horrible illness, vanished into thin air...blah, blah, blah. Guess we've all blocked the stories out of our memories...maybe our kids will do the same and then "open the vault" back up to their little ones. One big terrible cycle.

  26. Is she going to be Snow White for Halloween now? Just so you know, EVERY single Disney movie has at least one terrifying scene. Poor kid. And, yet, somehow we all grew up sane (somewhat).

    P.S. I enjoyed hanging with you, but that movie - I'm still thinking about how BAD it was.

  27. Anonymous5:34 PM

    I find the old cartoons FAR more watchable and therefore less iritating than most of the new stuff. Here's hoping it sticks! Maybe Bugs Bunny is next!

  28. Love the costume!

    I think a lot of Disney movies have "bad" things in them that we just didn't notice as children. Hopefully our kids won't notice either....

  29. And lest we forget that simpering little voice promise to cook and clean if the men let her stay in their house. Ugh.

    Laura LOVED that movie too, and was Snow White when she was three. Ugh.

  30. Who'da thunk! Amazing, isn't it? Refreshing when they move on to something new, though isn't it? I think I memorized the whole movie Beauty and the Beast when Enigma was that age.

  31. Alexis looks so incredibly adorable in her dress! Too cute. I often wonder what disney is thinking with some of these movies. Courtney always yells during the scary parts of Nemo.

  32. :-) Snow White is sleeping with seven dwarfs. Washing their dishes. Sweeping their home.

    And talking to strangers!

    heh.... I think I'd kill that video.


  33. I just have to ask whether the Toddler has yet developed a fear of apples?

  34. What I think is trantastically bad is how unpolitically correct all the old school cartoons are. Like the Smurfs episode I watched where they talked about the "funny yellow man with the dragon and squinty eyes?" What the hell - I can't believe I watched that stuff as a kid and didn't notice anything was "off." I guess we were just stupider then.

  35. Well, the Latina whore is still alive and well in my house. Baby is in love!

    So true about the Disney movies. My son is scared of parts of Snow White. Have you seen the Goddess of Spring short on that DVD? Scary stuff for the little ones!

  36. I used to love those old scary fairy tales, done as they were written. But I think I was a bit older. When I used to babysit kids Alexis's age, we used to watch Disney Sing Alongs. You got all the cute songs without the scary parts of the movies. At least until they were a little older.

    But I still think that kids can handle more than we give them credit for. Usually.

  37. So the cure is worse than the disease? Ugh...I don't think I want to trade Dora in for a Disney b*tch.

  38. even my boys are too scared to watch this movie. The evil step mother freaks them out...she looks like me without my medication.

  39. The classic Disney stuff was pretty raw by even today's standards.

    But heck, kids back then had to walk eight miles barefoot in the snow according to my grandma.

    They snacked on lead paint chips. Stayed outside until way after the streetlights came on. Played in the mud. Ate the mud. Didn't use antibacterial stuff. Got bumped. Bruised. Beaten up (and no one thought twice about Time Out). They got whipped (*shiver*). Screamed at.

    I could go on . . . life was tough back then.

    Disney was a piece of cake.

    I'm loving your little Snow White. I'm betting if I ask my mom nicely, she'll dig up a very, very old picture of me in mine . . .