Sunday, October 19

Sparing You the Details

I could go on and on about how we have had a weekend chock full of puke and poop, but I don't know that I particularly want to remember the joy that has been a sick pup. Our dear sweet Jasmine, AKA The Mop, has been a Hawt Mess all weekend. The kind of Hawt Mess that results in an endless cycle of steam cleaning, bathing, and laundry washing. To put it into perspective, we are ECSTATIC that it has now been four hours since The Mop puked all over her kennel (she had to be quarantined before she destroyed the rest of the house), then sopped up the puke with her massive coat of fur.

Good times. Ahem.

Instead of talking about THAT brand of joy, how about the fact that I totally got busted for "stealing" Alexis' bottle of water? She went with me to Starbucks on Thursday evening. After being offered chocolate milk, juice, hot chocolate, a Strawberry Creme Frappuccino, and the keys to the kingdom, she decided she wanted a bottle of water to go with the bread we ration to her nightly. For some reason, however, she didn't want to open it that day, so it had been in the fridge. I snagged it a little while ago and was mid-chug when the Tiny Terrorist came flying across the room yelling, "THAT'S MY WATER!"

I casually responded, "I didn't realize it had your name on it."

Alexis paused and then disappeared, leaving me to keep on drinking the water. A few minutes later, she returned. With a pen in her hand. She handed me the pen and said, "Write my name, please" then spelled it out for me.

We are sooooooo screwed.


28 comments:

  1. SO SO SO sorry to hear about your pukey weekend. I hope the little pup gets better soon!!

    Also, AGAIN I ask you: Where do they come up with this stuff??? These kids, they are smart. Very very scary.

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  2. Hope the pup is better soon!

    That's super funny. Write my name please =p
    That's something my child will do. She's already selfish enough.

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  3. Ugh, poor sick dog. :(

    And the smart ones go far in life! Too funny.

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  4. Poor puppy :(

    Yeah, you are in for trouble with that toddler ;)

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  5. yep, apparently you are.

    Hope the dog keeps her cookies firmly in place the rest of her life too.

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  6. Poor dog :( Poor you for having to clean it all.

    Your kid? Funny! I'd die if my kid said that to me.

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  7. Oh. My. Goodness. That cracks me the heck up.

    And I'm sorry about Jasmine. I've cleaned up a messy, long-haired dog just once and never hope to repeat that. I cannot imagine being in the lather, rinse, repeat cycle.

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  8. You might just have a mini-lawyer in your midst.

    As an aside, I cleaned out our fish tank tonight and thought of you.

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  9. Oh my. You'd best have another child and throw the princess off her game. Did I jsut say that? My bad.

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  10. Ut oh. She's outwitting you. I hate to tell ya, but you know it only gets worse, right? Hee hee.

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  11. Um. Yeah.

    Karma?

    Just a thought...

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  12. Um. Yeah.

    Karma?

    Just a thought...

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  13. I sure hope the pup feels better. Was it something she got into?

    Alexis is just too funny, it's like she is a teenager trapped in a little, itty, bitty body!

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  14. HOLY CRAP she makes me laugh!!! And yea, you're in trouble.

    I've been caught swiping the kids' drinks so often that they never give them to me without telling me "Don't drink it, just hold it" first.

    AND. Sorry about your weekend of puke. And that I was eating when I read it.

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  15. mmmmmmmmmwahahahahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaahh.




    oh the bodily fluids.


    terrific, aren't they?!?!?

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  16. poor puking poopy puppy...

    and alexis, as usual, is too smart for her own good.

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  17. Bahahaha!! That girl cracks me up!! That's what you get for being "smart" with her!

    Glad the pup is doing better!

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  18. I can't believe you drank her water. Did you forget that kiddie rule that goes 'what's mine is mine and should never EVER be shared.'

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  19. You are totally screwed. Thank goodness she's cute. It's her saving grace! (the puppy dog too! Hope she feels better soon.)

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  20. PittGirl8:15 AM

    Ok, so at first glance, I thought the terrorist, AKA my BFF, was holding a piece of dog poop.

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  21. Poor you. Sick dogs are horrible.
    As for Alexis...Ai. That's all I have to say.

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  22. Poor you. Sick dogs are horrible.
    As for Alexis...Ai. That's all I have to say.

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  23. Oh dear, there is really nothing worse than a sick dog...except maybe a sick dog with long hair. I hope the pup is better soon.

    Alexis? Yeah, you're screwed. She's a smart one.

    Peace - D

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  24. Alexis is so smart! Supergenius! You better keep your eyes on that one!

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  25. Haha!!!! She is a super genius problem solver! I love it!!!!

    Yep. You are in big trouble! ;)

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  26. Short bodies but long memories☺

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  27. I love that the Toddler brought you a writing utensil and then proceeded to spell her name. You're going to have a handful there...sounds like she'll be taking after Mom.

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  28. Hah! It's only a matter of time before Alexis begins asking, "Are you lying?" every time you tell her any. thing.

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