Somehow a small miracle occurred tonight and Alexis and I actually managed to get to gymnastics a few minutes early. Instead of hanging out with the scary moms in the lobby, I figured we would make a quick run through a nearby department store. I tossed her little booty into a cart and set out for the kids department in hopes of finding a cute little hooded dress and leggings combo something like the one she was wearing.
As we were rushing back, Alexis started playing with the four-inch zipper just below her chin. She zipped and unzipped the opening over and over then decided to stop with it down. While it wasn't quite so low that she was channeling Jennifer Lopez's green Chanel dress, I figured it was worth asking her to zip it back up. Alexis looked at me and said, "No."
So I repeated myself, "Alexis, zip your dress up, please."
I added in a good ol' Mom Stare for good measure.
She replied, "I don wanna."
"Alexis McKinnley, fix your dress right now or I'll take Baby Shell away," I threatened.
Alexis looked at me, face contorted, and said, "But I wanna show boobies!"
I think that will be the end of front-zippered dresses. Forever.
Tuesday, November 11
Won't Be Funny in Ten Years
at 8:38 PM
Labels: Premonitions and Paybacks
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Oh my gosh!!! How hilarious!!! Hopefully in another ten years she WON'T still be saying that!!
ReplyDeleteOMG. I'd say you were just kidding, but I know you aren't. Un.Real. Alexis is a total shocker, isn't she?
ReplyDeleteoh.
ReplyDeletemah.
gawd.
I'm sorry, but I can't stop laughing. Thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could have this conversation with the fifty year-old lady who sits across from me at the PTA meetings. She always wants to show her boobies too.
ReplyDeleteOh no! I swear she is just too smart! Where do kids come up with some of this stuff?
ReplyDeleteYeah. You have ONE smart little girl and you are so much in trouble. LOL. Good thing she is so stinking cute.
ReplyDeleteOh no!
ReplyDeleteOne of the downsides of daycare/school: sometimes you are left wondering, "Where did she pick that up??" I'm having some of the same "issues" with Monkey. Oy.
Did you crack up? That's usually my downfall. Hard to yell at the kid when you're laughing your a** off.
ciao,
rpm
LOL
ReplyDeleteShe must have seen the commercial I saw last night featuring Leann Rhimes. After about two seconds, both my husband and I nearly shouted for her to put on a)put on a bra and b)yank up the front of her green plastic-type dress.
I guess those onesies that they used to wear when they were babies had a duel purpose I never thought of. They kept them tucked in and kids were restricted from "showing their boobies"! Maybe Carter's should make them in sizes right through teenagers!
ReplyDeleteOMG....you mean someday we'll see her on Girls Gone Wild? ;-)
ReplyDeletePeace - D
Oh. My. Goodness.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know she didn't get that from you. See what that Whora will do to her?
Bwahahaha.
ReplyDeleteShe didn't put a dancing pole on her list to Santa this year, did she?
BTW, I love the juxtaposition of the crime (channeling a grown up) and the punishment (taking away her baby doll). Too funny.
I must go clean my computer monitor of the coffee that I spit all over it laughing.
ReplyDeleteOH. NO.
ReplyDeleteDavey pointed to fat roll (yes, I said fat roll) on my back. You know, under the bra line. Shut. Up. And he said, "BOOBIES!"
ReplyDeletePride, yo!
BUT MOM!!!! They need air to grow!!
ReplyDeleteHallie
I love her name - Alexis McKinnley. Perhaps an attorney Alexis McKinnley, Esq.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! It definitely wont be cute in 10 years. But it's pretty hilarious right now.
ReplyDeleteOne of the words that Alex understands and says? Boobs. He calls them "Booboob" and smacks my chest. It's almost adorable.
Is it a good thing that I have boys then? OMG I laughed so hard!
ReplyDeleteACK! NOOOOOOoooooooo!
ReplyDeleteOMG!!! That is freaking hilarious!! You are in SO much trouble!
ReplyDeleteUmmm yeah, I am blaming this on the media!
ReplyDeleteOH NO! I hope daddy has a shotgun!
ReplyDeleteha ha ha... the joys of having a girl. Sure, boys let their underwear hang out, but at least it's still some semblance of clothed netherlands... girls, on the other hand...
ReplyDeleteOh, my Gawd. I surrender dibs on the future MIL status. She's ALL Tranny's......just kidding toots.
ReplyDeleteNot to sound repetitive, but, Oh My Goodness! Did Dora teach her that?
ReplyDeleteI am seriously laughing OUT LOUD! That is so hilarious! Thanks for sharing that one :D
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteDid the Latina Whore teach her that one? Dirty Dora.
Holy crap! If it makes you feel any better, Cooper has a fascination with showing off his penis . . . while riding in the jogger one day this summer I caught him pulling it out the side of his underwear and shorts showing it to passing motorists. At least life with a toddler/preschooler is never dull!
ReplyDeleteSounds like she's ready for the red carpet to me! They are always doing that there! ; )
ReplyDeleteAlso sounds like it's time to lock her in her room until she's 30! HA!
This is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteAnother reason I'm glad I have boys. If I tell Monkey that he has boobies, he tells me "Boys don't have boobies, they're Pips!!"
hehe
BWA HAHAHA! She's clearly thinking that she'll be inheriting your boobs.
ReplyDeleteHoly Shit Michelle.
ReplyDeleteI blame The PussyCat Dolls.. that dang song. When I grow up... our kids hear it and there you have it.
LMAO!!! She's gonna be disappointed if she doesn't get tha big boobies!
ReplyDeleteYou know, very soon, she'll be lifting her dress to show off her panties as well.
Uh oh. You're screwed. ;)
ReplyDeleteWhere did that come from?! I'm pretty sure you weren't the one showing your boobies, so where did she get that?
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is OMG!
ReplyDeleteOMG! Ha ha ha ha ha! Only funny because for once it wasn't my kid!
ReplyDeleteSo this begs the question: just where does she get the idea of showing boobies? lol...you are going to have to be on top of things with this one!
ReplyDeleteOkay. WHAT?
ReplyDeleteAlexis is channeling her inner trannyhead. I just wanted you to know that.
ReplyDeleteHAWT!
You and I, we go back and forth over whether its better to be raising girls or boys....
ReplyDeleteAllow me to just point out that my boys have never had any desire to show their boobies. Or any other parts not easily concealed by normal clothing.
I just am refusing to acknowledge the part where the teenager is, while still not showing any body parts, wanting to see them with an increasing level of curiosity.
Holy Crap. That is hilarious but also, probably not ever going to be funny.
ReplyDeleteHave mercy! I've got a preschooler who's all about mentioning boobies any chance she can. Hopefully you wont have to go there!
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOSH! That is the FUNNIEST thing I've read in a long time! I just love that girl of yours! LOL
ReplyDelete